


(I'm) Yours Truly

by Fuffywumple



Category: Terminator (Movies)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-typical strong language, Death, Eventual Major Character Death, Eventual Romance, F/F, Grace Harper has mental health issues/rage disorders, Intermittent Explosive Disorder, Mental Health Issues, Mentions of Death, Nonbinary Character, Not Really Plot Heavy, Slow Burn, They’re “best friends”, enby Grace Harper, fluff piece, like a lot of slowburn, maybe potential eventual smut, nonbinary Grace Harper, probably lots of it, sexual tension baybeyyyy, such gal pals, supernatural powers, technical sequel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:14:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 66,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24758383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fuffywumple/pseuds/Fuffywumple
Summary: In a post war world, Lieutenant Grace Harper tries to navigate the complicated relationship they have with their Commander, Dani Ramos, all the while keeping alive and sane during the end of days.Grace's relationship with the commander began as a strictly professional, mentor/mentee establishment, but as Grace gets older, they figure out that their feelings for the Commander may be much more than they are letting on.A fic that focuses on Grace and Dani slowly falling in love, above all else.Any similarities between this work and others in the tag are, unless specified, completely coincidental. Please don’t hesitate to comment if any of my content is overstepping. I’d be happy to help
Relationships: Grace Harper/Dani Ramos
Comments: 82
Kudos: 151





	1. The Commander's Disappointment

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hi everyone! Welcome. I just really wanted to write a bunch of Drace fluff, and I also figured I would do some self projecting by having enby!Grace.

Poised with a recent victory, squad Foxtrot of the Dallas, Texas human resistance base convened in the mess hall for a rather loud celebration. Among the drunk and happy soldiers was Grace Harper (me), lieutenant of the squad, and personal mentee of resistance leader and commander, Daniella Ramos.

Despite the pride for my team’s victory, I couldn’t find it in myself to let loose, and party like the others. Instead, I sipped at a cup of ale, and hoped I would go unnoticed as a rather sober needle in the haystack of rowdy and drunk soldiers. I took another gentle sip of ale, eyes watering as even the slightest taste was enough to make a soldier cry. I told myself that I deserved to feel like a victor, and that I deserved to have the guilt-free fun that my subordinates were subjecting themselves to all around me. But something in me held those instincts back.

Maybe it was the fact that our victory only solved a minuscule problem in the massive scale of the war around them.

Or maybe it was the look of disappointment the commander gave me as I returned from the expedition.

I knew Dani was proud of the squad for the work they had done that day, all the sacrifices they made. But I knew the real reason behind that look. And I knew it had something to do with the fact that I had to be wheeled to the infirmary upon return.

Feeling guilty, I ran a hand down my right arm, where a hefty bandage blocked access to the skin underneath. The wound would heal fast, as the medicine they gave me would do the trick, but Dani’s disappointment would be a much harder wound to deal with. 

So. For now, I hid myself among the crowd of soldiers, trying not to think too hard about Dani’s scowl.

“Lieutenant, come on. Live a little!” Corporal Hannah Avery slammed herself beside me, bumping me with enough force for my drink to spill a little on my lap, despite the while knuckle grip I held on the cup.

“I am.” I said, using my tunic to try and wipe the stain from my pants, instead, they I rubbed the reddish liquid deeper into the khaki pants.

Avery scoffed, “Come on. I mean _celebrate_ celebrate, not sit in the corner with a kiddy sized cup of ale.”

“Our job is far from over. “ I said, avoiding eye contact with the corporal, “we took down a sub radio tower in a large cluster of master towers. We did ten percent of a proper job.”

While I knew it was the truth, that was a very disappointing way of putting it. A victory was a victory, and the squad had every right to be rewarding themselves, but all I could think about was how I had disappointed the commander, the only person I cared about.

Corporal Avery thought about her answer, but couldn’t come up with anything before I rose to my feet. “I’m calling it an early night, Corporal. Nice work out there.”

“Uh, you too, boss.” Avery said, with a lingering confusion to her voice.

Setting the ale cup down, I pushed my way through the group of drunk soldiers, trying to avoid their calls and beckons back to the party. The only thing I needed was a trip to the showers, then a long sleep. Squad Foxtrot was given a three day leave because of their success that day, and I intended to use it for sleep and training.

I left the mess hall rather undetected after leaving the heart of the crowd. I shuffled down to the bunks, snagging my towel from their cot, before diverting back to the showers.

As I draped my towel over one shoulder, I couldn’t help but notice Dani’s office, not far away from the bunks. I paused, frowning at the door. The light was still on inside, so there was a chance that Dani was still awake in there, probably working on loose-ended paperwork that really had no purpose at the end of the day.

I pondered walking up to the door, confronting Dani right then and there, begging for forgiveness, though I didn’t quite know what I wanted to be forgiven for. That didn’t matter when it came to Dani, though. I couldn’t bear being on Dani’s bad side, no matter how or why.

After several long moments, I decided that I couldn’t muster up the courage to knock, so I shook it off, and continued down to the showers.

The irritating fluorescent lights flickered overhead, bouncing off the dull bunker walls that made up the narrow hallway leading to my destination. I scanned the walls, a feeling of dread bubbling back up my throat. I found it easy to forget that the base I lived in was a windowless, underground bunker, but when the reminder came, it came with unease. The idea of a hot shower had never been so appealing than it was at that very moment, I just hoped there was enough left.

Placing a hand on the cool metal, I hesitated before pushing the shower room door open. When I did, however, I was greeted with an empty room. I sighed with relief, stepping further into the shower room before kicking the door closed behind me. The room smelled like mold and chlorine. I inhaled the scent until my lungs couldn’t take anymore, then puffed it out through cracked lips.

I walked to the closest stall, pulling open the curtain with my injured arm without thinking. I flinched, hissing between clenched teeth.

“Why aren’t you out there celebrating, soldier?”

Despite the years of training to always be at the ready, to expect everything, I almost jumped out of my skin. I whipped around, almost slipping on the still wet floor. “Dani.”

True enough, there sat Commander Dani Ramos, on a bench in the far corner. She was wearing her nightclothes, but her skin was a little damp, and her hair was dripping onto the shirt.

Dani raised her chin slightly, “You’re getting slower, Lieutenant.”

I flinched, Dani never called me by my title when it was just the two of us. Unless she was angry at me.

“It’s just…” I struggled on what I wanted to say, “I’m a little drunk, that’s all.”

“So you _have_ been partying.”

I couldn’t look Dani in the eye, “Not really. I just had a drink to be nice.”

Dani squinted, “Don’t want to be celebrating your achievements out there with the others?”

Something about that pricked something inside me, and I instinctively stood taller, “Something tells me that you don’t want me to be celebrating with the others.”

Pursed lips curling into the shadow of a grin, Dani went to work on patting down her wet hair, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t play dumb.” I was getting frustrated, “that’s my job.”

I could tell that Dani was a little taken aback. I noticed more and more that as I got older and bigger, Dani came to realize my full, powerful potential. I'm not even augmented, but y intimidation factor could rival that of even the newest augment series.

The new lull in the conversation gave me the power to shake off Dani’s hold on me, and I went back to prepping for a shower. I knew it would be a struggle to take off my shirt, what with the damaged arm and all, so I started by unbuttoning my pants. I already knew how scarred and wounded the skin would be there before the clothing even came off. I'm only 21, and my body had already seen more war and more damage than most of the veterans I knew.

“Damn it, Grace…” Dani mumbled from the back of the room, causing me to whip around, ready for another confrontation. Instead, what I saw was a worried mentor. The sad, scared face of a friend, who stared back at me.

“You could have gotten yourself killed out there.” Dani said, voice softening from ‘hardened commander’ to ‘I care about you.’

I sighed, “But I didn’t, and I won’t.”

“If you don’t stop being reckless like that, you will someday.”

It wasn’t a threat, but a warning. I gulped, and nodded, not very fond of having my pants around their ankles while I had this conversation.

“You can’t do that, Grace.” Dani said, dropping her towel on the floor, “you can’t risk yourself out there. I need you here with me.”

My eyes watered. A new layer of guilt bubbled at the surface of my stomach. Over and over again I was reminded of my importance in Dani’s life. I was reminded of how Dani’s family was murdered far before the war started. How she lost a father, a brother, a friend, and even a lover.

I stared at the floor, “I’m sorry, Dani. I won’t do it again.”

Dani sighed, a noise I heard while I continued to stare at the floor. Before I knew it, Dani placed her hand on my cheek, pointing my face toward her. We were standing close, almost too close. But the closer Dani was, the safer I felt.

“You mean too much to me, Grace. You know that, right?”

I nodded against Dani’s hand. Her skin was still damp, soft, and somehow smelled clean.

“Good. Now, need help getting this off?” Dani offered, tugging at the collar of my shirt. I shuffled against Dani’s touch, then nodded. I closed my eyes, then let Dani manipulate my arms so that the shirt could slide off of my torso, littered with long healed, glistening scars. I tensed up when the cold air hit my skin, and it didn’t go unnoticed.

“Sorry.” Dani said, “I assume you don’t want help with the bra.”

My face burned, but yet they found myself speaking before I could stop it, “I’d like the help.”

“ _Oh._ ” 

I could almost see Dani’s face, despite my eyes being closed. The room suddenly felt very hot. But Dani did as she said she would, and helped me undress the rest of the way. I complied with every order that was given to me, all the while keeping my eyes closed. I didn’t think I could look at Dani while she undressed me.

“There… all done.”

When I opened my eyes, I avoided the commander by looking at every other thing in the bathroom, sealing my eyes on the painfully white tiles around us. “Thanks, Dani.”

Dani turned away, fetching her previously disregarded towel before bidding me farewell, “Come see me tomorrow, okay?”

I swallowed hard, avoiding eye contact, “Um, for what?”

The commander shrugged, “I just want to see you, that’s all.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Smiling, Dani walked to the exit, giving me one last look over her shoulder, “Swing by my office at noon, okay?”

“Aye-aye, commander.” I said, which felt really bizarre to say while completely naked.

Dani chuckled, pushing the door open with one hand, “See you tomorrow, Grace. Can’t wait.”

When Dani finally left, I felt like I could breathe again. Confusion swirled around in my brain as I readied the shower water. Just about every day, I stood naked among many soldiers in this bathroom, male and female alike, and it never bothered me. It was customary at that point. No one cared who was naked, because it didn’t really matter. But around Dani? That felt like a whole new thing. The room was hot, the air was thick. I wasn’t sure what caused it, but I knew it had something to do with Dani.

Either way, I tried to shake it off. The sooner I showered, the sooner I could go to bed, and see Dani the next day.

  
  
  
  



	2. The Advisor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Grace and the commanders 'advisor' clash, & Grace gets flustered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a little longer than I wanted to, but here it is. Next week is gonna be super hectic for me, but I hope to find the time to post something through my downtime.

I was up before the sun. That was more common than I would have liked it, especially lately, but there wasn’t much I could do about it, so I made the best of it, and sneaked my way out of the base.

The winter air bit at my cheeks when I sneaked out to the outdoor drill area. The smell of ash overpowered my nose, and I sneezed on instinct. Every time I leave the base, I sneeze within a few minutes of going. Dani always teases me about it when we are alone, but during drills, I get an earful about controlling myself. As if I can control my sneezes.

Rubbing the snot from my nose, I chuckled to myself. If Dani was there, she would probably give me a little cloth from her jacket, and comment how ‘monstrous’ my sneezes are, but, I mean, all sneezes are monstrous sneezes next to her gentle kitten sneezes.

Despite the overwhelming darkness, I knew exactly where to move around the track, after having it burned into my memory from running the track day after day. The endless loops bring a sense of calm to me whenever I feel like I’m falling out of control of my own life. Because on the track, I control how fast I run, I control which direction. It’s one of the very very few things I actually had control over in my life during the war.

The cold air shoots knives into my skin as I start running, allowing my bare face and arms to slowly become numb as they are pierced by endless, sharp little daggers of ice ripping into my skin. But I loved it. I loved the burning in my lungs, and the loss of relying in my fingertips and nose. I loved pushing my body to the absolute maximum, because it reminded me that my body actually  _ has  _ a limit.

One of the strangest ways of finding comfort during all of this was, I found, reminding myself of my humanity. Knowing that I bleed, and a body that can reach its limit. My humanity makes me better than the machines. Maybe not in direct combat, but in compassion. I  _ care  _ about what I protect, that makes me more willing to get it.

After running for so long, it felt like I was about to cough up blood, and the sun began to rise on the horizon. I stood hunched in the corner of the track, gasping and wheezing until I could regain enough of my composure to stand up properly. My clothes suck to my skin and my recent wounds pulsed and seared through the numbness of the early morning winter air.

Walking back into the base was easier than getting out, as more of the base began to awaken and shuffle around, tending to the never ending array of tasks that came with operating a base against a seemingly invincible enemy.

I got a few greetings from busy corporals and base engineers, as well as some night guards, making their way into the bunks for much needed rest. I got a few salutes from my quad members on my way to the showers.

The shower room had a few early risers in it when I got there. Lieutenant Devon Blake from the Charlie squad, Corporal Hannah Avery, and site engineer Alex Jane. I pretended none of them were there, despite feeling Devon's eyes follow each step I made to a vacant stall. I kept my head low, undressing without a word, and hopping into the shower. Already I was feeling much less exposed and confused than was last night with Dani, despite knowing these people less than I knew Dani.

After closing the shower curtain, I allowed my head to be flooded with thoughts of last night, of Dani helping me take my clothes off, and how much I liked it despite how flustered I was. Then I got to thinking about why I had been flustered, and why I wanted to feel that again.

A small part of my brain reprimanded me for thinking about my commander that way, but I couldn’t help the feeling that washed over me when we were alone last night, and I definitely couldn’t help the overwhelming excitement I felt at the mere thought of meeting Dani in her office that afternoon.

But it wasn’t the first time her and I would be alone together. Ever since she found me in those ruins together, she had been mentoring me, sheltering me, treating me like I was an intimate person in her life. It had only been recently that I was starting to feel tingly around her.

Tingly? Was that it? I wasn’t sure. But what I did know, is that whatever I felt when I thought of her, it sure made me tingle. Especially in my stomach and my-

“Harper, water ain’t free, you know.” Hannah Avery called, from outside the curtain.

Startled, I shut the water off, “Right, sorry.”

Still dripping, I opened the curtain and stepped away from the stall, granting access for Corporal Avery.

I could still feel Devon looking at me as I got dressed, but I made a point not to acknowledge him, or give him any chances. Something about him didn’t sit right with me, it never did. He was always bent on power, trying to cozy up with the commander, in an attempt to get him more perks. Luckily for everyone, Dani was a no nonsense person, and saw through his act.

Feeling loose, I shuffled out of the showers with a pep in my step, but with several hours to kill before it was noon. Part of me wanted to see if I could get some more sleep, but I also knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep with everything on my mind.

I let my feet walk for me, propelling me through the halls of the base, until I stood outside Dani’s office. Pathetic, there I stood, unable to stay away. Although I knew she didn’t want me there until later, I approached the door to her office, unable to stay away.

The butterflies in my stomach caused me to hesitate with my knuckles resting against her door, unable to knock. Why couldn’t I knock? It was easy, or, it should have been. With a deep breath, I gathered the courage to knock. Immediately after, however, I was filled with regret. I bounced on my feet, and considered bolting away. 

As I took a step back, ready to flee from embarrassment, the office door opened, revealing Dani, half asleep.

“Oh-” I started, flustered, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were…”

Dani, with half lidded eyes, smiled at me, “It’s okay, Grace.”

“Yeah?” My shoulders relaxed.

“Yeah.”

I sighed with relief, “Thanks, Dani. I know you said to come in at noon, but I was up early, and I didn’t know what to do, and-”

“I said it’s okay, Grace.” Dani interrupted, “you don’t have to apologize. Now, quit rambling and come in here.”

“Right.” I said, “sorry.”

Dani moved aside, letting me step into her office. The lights were dim, but still irritating to look at. Everything was kind of… messy, which was the complete opposite of how Dani operated.

“What’s, uh, up?” I asked, like an idiot.

Dani closed the door behind us, “I was just running over some paperwork with my advisor.”

A weight instantly dropped into my stomach.

As if being summoned, said “advisor” walked into the office space from within Dani’s bunk room, (which was connected. Perks of being the commander is that you get an office space connected to your own private bunk, connected to a small kitchen. Lucky her) holding two coffees. The minute I saw her, I wanted to either walk out of the room without a word, or start bickering.

“Ah, Lieutenant Meathead. If I knew I’d be seeing you this early in the morning, I would have already started drinking.” The old woman said.

Scoffing, I whirled around to my commander, “Dani!” I realized in the moment that I was acting like a child who wanted my mother to defend me, but that’s what it felt like whenever that woman spoke.

Dani chuckled, “Sarah. Be nice.”

With a low grumble, Sarah handed Dani her coffee.

“Grace, sit, please.” Dani said, nodding towards the chair opposite the desk. I nodded, watching the old bag limp over to the couch, sitting down next to her walking stick. Taking my seat across from Dani, I rubbed my palms against my pants, trying to rid them of the moisture that must have accumulated on them earlier.

“Thanks.” I said, “for letting me wander in here so early.”

Gently, Dani held the mug of coffee in her hands, “Of course. We weren’t that busy, and in desperate need of some company.”

Sarah scoffed, over on the couch. I tried to ignore it, but she was undoubtedly getting on my nerves.

There was a long silent pause in which I wanted to melt through the floor, or strangle Sarah and that stupid smirk on her face. Why did Dani even keep that senile odd woman around, anyway? She didn’t seem like she was good for anything but backtalk, snoring like the devil, and drinking all the booze in sight.

Yet, for some reason, Dani always had her around. Always asked for her judgement, and gave her jobs that would be much more suited for people who were actually  _ ambulatory,  _ or, you know, less bitchy. She hated me, I don’t even know why, but it seemed that Sarah hated everything and everyone except for Dani. I mean, I guess I can’t blame her for hating stuff, the world sucks right now, but come on, if she left that stick in her ass long enough, she wouldn’t be able to take it out later.

“Um, thanks for giving the squad some time off, Dani.” I said, breaking the tension in the room. Sarah just sipped at her coffee rather loudly, it made my eardrums wobble.

Dani looked up from a piece of paper, it looked like she didn’t even remember I was there, “After that exhausting week-long adventure, I figured you would all need it.”

I nodded, picking at my nails, “I’m probably going to use the time to sleep, or maybe practice my game.”

The soft smile that cracked across Dani’s face made me feel like jelly, “Some rest will do you good, Grace. You’ve nearly worked yourself to death.”

“Yeah…” I replied, looking down at my lap, “though it feels like even that isn’t enough.”

Dani’s hand reached across the table, landing right in front of my chest, “Grace, what’s that supposed to mean?”

I gulped, “this is war, Dani. Nothing is enough until I’ve defeated the enemy, no matter what it takes.”

Surprisingly, Sarah didn’t have any snide comments or noises to respond to that. It seemed like Dani didn’t have anything to say, either. She just sat there, in front of me, silent but stoic. I’d never seen her hesitate so much.

“You’re doing what you can, Grace.” Dani said, it seemed like she was trying to diffuse the situation, but I felt even more pent-up after she spoke.

“Bullshit.” I said, feeling angry for God knows what reason, “I am just a solider that follows orders. I would lay my life down for you commander. In fact, that seems to be the only way I can truly prove my worth to this war.”

Dani froze. Stuck in place as if she had been pierced by a bullet. Her and Sarah exchanged a look, before Dani turned back to the desk, seemingly shaken to the core. She had a look in her eyes… like she knew something, but wasn’t telling me it.

“What?” I asked, starting to be weirded out.

Sarah spoke up, “Don’t worry about it, Lieutenant.”

“Shut it.”

“ _ Excuse me _ ?”

I bit back at her stronger than before, “I wasn’t talking to you.”

Dani smacked a fist on to her desk, “That’s enough.”

Guilty, I hunched over in the chair, instinctively making myself seem smaller around the commander. Dani rubbed her temple, giving Sarah one last knowing look before sighing, “Sarah, can you give us a moment? Alone.”

“Yeah. Sure.” Sarah didn’t sound very impressed, though she never sounded anything but bitchy. The old woman grabbed her walking stick, and rose herself to her feet with a grunt. I heard she got a metal hip, and there was something about her spine, and even her right shoulder. The amount of whispered war stories I’ve heard about her… It made sense why she was so fucked up, but she was still a bitch. I mean, Dani has also seen some crazy shit (again, from rumours) but yet she isn’t a raging ad for menopause.

I watched Sarah limp out of the room, giving the old bag a fresh smirk. I know she saw it, but there was no witty rebuttal. Probably not wanting to get on the commander’s bad side. Sure, Dani has been giving her special treatment lately, but that could all end if Sarah said the wrong thing. Dani’s authority was powerful, yet she never seemed to exercise it to its full potential. Instead, she uses it as an invisible wall. I supposed I could respect that.

As soon as Sarah disappeared into the kitchen, Dani looked back at me, “Grace… what has gotten into you?”

I scoffed, “ _ me? _ ”

“Yes, you.” Dani’s voice was stern, “you do not come in here and yell at my advisor like that.”

“Wh- you can’t be serious.”

“You can be sure that I am.”

God damn, Dani is a stubborn woman sometimes. I just didn’t understand what her angle was. So her advisor starts being a  _ bitch  _ to me, and when I bark back,  _ I’m  _ the one out of line? I felt myself force air out of my lungs, mouth open in an angry pant.

Without warning, I bubbled out of control, “I don’t get why you keep that old, senile bag around, anyway.”

“ _ Grace. _ ”

“I mean…” I continued, “she’s goddamn useless. She judges me, and I know you two talk about me behind my back. What the hell was that look for, anyway? What, is she after my job? That no good, lying, motherfu-”

“ _ Lieutenant,  _ I don’t want to hear another word.” Dani’s raw shout had enough force to make her rise from her chair. Standing on the other side of the desk. I was forced to look  _ up  _ at her, a feeling I wasn’t used to.

Dani’s shout felt like a slap to the face. I scoffed, feeling the last of my anger puff with with the hot air.

Still standing, Dani looked down at me, “Jesus Christ. What’s wrong with you, Grace? I thought I’ve taught you never to yell at a superior.”

With the fall of my anger, came a rise in shame. Instead of answering her question, I looked right into Dani’s eyes, trying to see if there was any remorse in there for me. If it was there, it was very well hidden.

“Well? Answer me, soldier.”

“Oh.” I mumbled, “uh…”

Dani cured her hand into a claw, “It was not a rhetorical question.”

“What, um,” I said, “what was the question again?”

Rubbing her face, Dani sat down again, “I said, what is wrong with you, Grace? Because I know something is up. You’re not a pain this often.”

I tried to speak, but I couldn’t come up with anything. I’ve always hated Sarah, but I guess I’ve never screamed at Dani because of her before. He way I started freaking out the moment I knew Dani and I weren’t alone? The more I thought about it, the more I recognized that kind of pattern lately. Seeing Dani was the only thing to soothe me, but if it wasn’t just us alone, I’d always manage to pitch a fit.

I looked down, “I… don’t know.” And that was the truth. There  _ was  _ something wrong with me.

Dani sighed through her nose, a gentle noise, “Grace. You do know that you’re my best friend, right? You lived in my quarters for years after I found you. I trained you myself, I’ve trusted you with so many things I can’t tell anyone else.”

Right. It’s not like I had been hearing rumours about her, instead of her ‘trusting me.’ Ugh, I couldn’t stop the bitterness, huh?

“Yeah…”

“Grace.” Dani said, then grabbed my hands. I jumped, practically hitting the ceiling. I whipped my head up to see her. Instantly, her soft smile made my whole body warm. Something about her made me feel wild. As if on instinct, I started to lean forward, but the hard edge of Dani’s desk stopped me, and I pulled back, my brain returning to me.

“Dani… I…” What was I going to say? It must have left me.

Squeezing my hand, Dani spoke, “I don’t like when you get mad, okay? You’re the only one that keeps me going around here.”

A forced puff of air, shot from my open lips. Dani had said that kind of stuff to me when I was still a teenager, but I hadn’t heard it since. Sometimes, I forgot that Dani actually cared about me.

“I’m not always the best at remembering that.” I admitted.

Dani moved one arm up to my shoulder. I liked the feeling of her arm grazing my bare skin, “Well try, okay? I can’t have my solider thinking that their commander- their friend -isn’t counting on them.”

My smile cut through my cheeks, “Thanks Dani, and thanks commander.”

We both gave a small chuckle. Dani worked  _ that fast  _ when it came to calming me down. She was like a miracle. My miracle.

“I meant what I said, Dani.” I leaned ever so slightly forward, “I would lay down my life for you.”

In return, Dani recoiled a little bit. Was I standing too close for comfort? I knew that Dani liked her personal space, maybe I was violating that for her.

“Grace, I… couldn’t ask you to do that.”

Desperate, I squeezed her hand harder, “But I  _ want to.  _ Not only is it my duty as a solider, but it is my debt. You saved me in those ruins all those years ago. You saved my life, now I owe it to you.”

“Grace, really. I don’t want you to.” Dani said, almost pleading. It was starting to confuse me.

“Dani, what’s-”

Sarah hobbled her way into the office room, smacking her walking stick down, “Not to ruin the playdate, but Dani, you’d better see this.”

Dani’s hand left mine in a flash, her arm also dropping from my shoulder. I suddenly felt cold without her touch.

“Sarah?” Dani asked, “what’s wrong? What is it?”

The woman’s face was grim, “Something bad.”

My body started to shiver without Dani’s touch, almost like a withdrawal. What the hell was going on? Among everything else, now I had to worry about what was happening between me and Dani. Just ten days ago, I was fine around her. Now, all of a sudden, I can’t be in the same room as her without getting flustered.

Dani turned to me, “I’m going to go check this out. Stay here, okay?” 

I didn’t get to answer before she took off, but there was no way in hell I was staying behind.


	3. The Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Legion sends a Rev-8 to the base.
> 
> WARNING: This is the first chapter to really show the 'graphic depictions of violence' tag, so be warned there is some blood and violence in this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contrary to popular belief, I am not dead, I've just been so super swamped. I just graduated high school, then had to pack all of my stuff and move away. But now that I've wrapped everything up back home, and completed the move, I should have a lot of time this summer to write, so hopefully there shouldn't be many more large gaps, not for a while. I'm sorry for the long wait, but here is chapter 3.

In the far west wing, there were a few base engineers waiting for the commander to arrive. Before we even got there, I saw the damage.

Through a large hole in the metal ceiling, rain pattered into the base, soaking the floor underneath my boots. A breeze ripped into the hallway, making a violent shiver pulse through me.

“What’s happening here?” Dani asked, stopping to return a salute to the engineers.

Engineer Jane stepped forward, “Commander. The roof was destroyed by an explosion. Based on the size of the impact, it seems like it was a calculated explosion.”

“Legion…” Dani grumbled.

“It seems they’ve found the base.”

Dani bit at her fingernails, “Repairs will be needed immediately.”

Jane scoffed, “With what? It’s not like we can instantly patch the three-foot iron membrane between us and the surface.”

Sarah stepped forward, “We can’t, but what we can do is start with the scrap pillars we have from the last Legion tower raid we conducted. There is still some scrap metal, right?”

Jane started at Sarah, dumbfounded, “W… well, yeah.”

“Then good,” Sarah stood taller, it looked like it hurt, “get some of our soldiers on patrol to make sure those metal bitches don’t come back for seconds. Then we get Jane and his team to work, scavenging what they can from the scraps we’ve got. I don’t care how long this takes, we are not resting until that hole is patched.”

Looking to Dani, Sarah continued, “I want a temporary squad developed to keep guard from both the outside and inside of the vulnerable area. Fully armed soldiers will keep patrol outside, with shift changes every four hours. Am I understood?’

Right. So that’s why Dani trusted Sarah so well. Everyone in the area went silent, Jane looking at Dani for her approval.

Dani cleared her throat, “You heard the woman. Get moving.”

The hall bursted with activity. Jane, snagged the radio from her belt, and started barking orders to her crew. Meanwhile, Dani and Sarah whispered to one another.

“I volunteer for first shift.” I said, stepping forth.

Surprised, Dani turned to see me, “Harper? Didn’t I tell you to stay in my office?”

I found it bizarre that she hadn’t noticed me the whole time, “Irrelevant. Let me pull together my best soldiers, we’ll be out there in under ten.”

“Lieutenant, no.” Dani said.

I paused for a moment, “But… Commander-”

“No.” Dani’s voice was stern, “and that’s final. You’re still hurt.”

The reminder of the bandages on my arm stings. I had tuned out the feeling for so long, I almost forgot they were there.

“So? I can still fight.” I said, “let me fight.”

“Go back to my office. That’s an order.”

The room around us has gone quiet, “I can’t do that, Commander. You know I can’t do that.”

Dani was practically growling, “I don’t tolerate insubordination, Lieutenant. I’m going to ask you one more time to get your ass in my office, or you won’t be keeping that rank past the day.”

I didn’t move, feet melted to the floor, “I am a soldier, Dani. It’s my job to fight. This is what I’m here for. Why won’t you let me fight?”

“ _Because-_ ” Dani shouted, stopping herself. Mouth left open, Dani gasped in loud, heaping breaths.

“Huh?” I challenged, “what is it?”

“We don’t have time for this.” Sarah’s gravelly voice cut between us. She limped to Dani’s side, tucking herself close to the commander, “let them go. They can hold their own.”

Dani closed her eyes, taking a deep breath with her bowed head. I stood as still as a post, waiting for her verdict.

“Okay.” Dani nodded, looking straight at me, “okay. Get your men, get your gear, and be outside in ten minutes.” She turned to Sarah, “get augment squad Beta ready. We’ll need as much strength as we can up there.”

“What about a ship?” I said.

Dani shook her head, “That will draw too much attention. _If_ they’re planning a subsequent attack, we don’t want them to know we are prepared, and catch them off guard.”

“They’re machines.” I said, “they don’t have expectations.”

Sarah chuckled, “And yet, they still manage to be cocky.”

Clearing her throat, Dani stepped forward, “Lieutenant, time is short.”

On instinct, I stood as stiff as I could, “Yes, commander. Right away, commander.”

I turned, and with haste, I started to jog down the hallway. If I knew any better, I could have sworn I heard Dani say ‘be safe.’

Down in the armory, my team and I strap ourselves up with gear faster than we ever have before. My helmet fit snug around my skull, applying a light pressure around my temples. My chestplate, boots, gloves and knee pads shielded myself and the most vulnerable parts of my body. From all my battle history, I could say that my chestplate has saved me fro many fatal blows.

Though… not enough.

Coming back to me, the memory of my first battle scar dug deep into my psyche. I could feel the pain again, I could feel the fear that washed through me as I waited to die. That’s what it was like stepping on to the battlefield. I fought with everything I could, but eventually I knew, there would be a day that I wouldn’t come back.

I blinked the memory away, trying to forget about the scar just under my rib cage. A pat on my soldier from corporal Avery knocked me out of my stir. I gave her a nod of acknowledgement as she passed by. She knew my habit of wigging myself out before combat, and she had my back.

With my renewed courage, I grabbed an arm blade holster from the weapons rack, strapping it to my wounded arm. It stung, but the adrenaline washed out the pain. I had no time to be weighed down, not when my commander’s life was in danger.

Mobilized, I take the squad out through the southern emergency exits, leaving us at a helipad near the damage site. The heavy equipment made it difficult to traverse up the mountainous terrain, but I pushed through the pain and sweat to reach the already occupied damage site.

A light skinned augment, who I assumed was the Lieutenant of the AB squad, looked down at my team, “Fantastic, you’re here.”

“Sorry for the wait.” I said.

The woman gave an understanding smile, “As long as you’re here. We will need to be ready for anything.”

Standing right next to the woman, I didn’t expect her to be as tall as I was, her braided hair tied up into a ponytail. Despite our nearly equal height, her biceps were larger than my thighs. The sleeves of her battle uniform strained against the muscles in her arms and legs. Her augment scars cut beneath her left eye, then traveled to her ear, and down her neck.

I looked away from her scars, when she followed my eyes. Immediately, I felt a shame heating up my cheeks. I didn’t get to see augments that often, when I did, I had a tendency to stare. I just couldn’t help it.

To shrug off the awkwardness, I looked behind my shoulder, “Alright, squad. Fan out, make sure the whole area is locked down. Be far enough to cover a lot of space, but close enough that you can communicate if needed.”

“Yes, Lieutenant.” My soldiers cheered, moving off to put themselves in place.

The Augment looked at me, and I couldn’t help a flare of pride to scorch my chest. The responsibility of leading a Squad may be a little heavy, but at least it gets the attention of girls.

Hauling my ass over to the damage site, I peer inside the now exposed hallway of the base. Dani had left, but Sarah was still around, bossing around the construction workers with the voice of a chain smoker. Hearing her voice reminded me of why I chose not to smoke.

“Don’t fall in, Lieutenant.” The woman said, and I could tell the exact size of the smile on her face before I even turned to look at her.

“Pshh… I won’t.” I said, trying to square my shoulders.

The augment flexed her muscles, “Your body is more fragile than you know. Don’t be too cocky.”

“Oh, are you flexing on me now?’ I said, feeling playful.

The Augment’s smile widened, “Maybe a little bit.”

I chuckled, “Hah. Thanks, uh…”

It took a moment for the Augment to understand what I wanted, “Holmes. Lieutenant Holmes.”

“Thanks, Holmes.” I said, feeling a warmth in my chest. A friend? Maybe making friends wasn’t that hard, after all.

“Commander?”

Whipping around, I noticed Dani walking up to the patrol site. She wore her combat attire. Light armour, but it did the job. There was a hard look on her face, intense and unflinching. My heart got clogged in my throat.

“What’s this?’ I asked, stepping towards the commander.

Dani paid me nearly no mind, “All set up out here, Holmes?”

Holmes looked at me, then back at Dani, “Uh, yes. Yes, Commander.”

“Good. Very good.” Dani nodded, crossing her arms, “If you don’t mind, Lieutenant, I’m going to stay around for a while, make sure you’re all in order.”

Something spiked in my body. By being up here with us, Dani could get herself hurt, or even killed. We were waiting for an assault, and I couldn’t let myself be an accomplice to that.

“With all due respect, Commander,” I almost forgot to add the pleasantry, “I think that’s a bad idea.”

Dani looked at me, her eyebrows flying up, “Is that so, Lieutenant?”

I gulped, shrinking back ever so slightly. The look in Dani’s eyes wasn’t just from my comment, she was furious, at _me._

“Uh, yes.”

“Yes what?” Dani tilted her head, stepping forward.

“Yes Commander.” I eeked out.

Dani stared me down. I tried to plead to her with my eyes, but I only got a cold glare in return. She looked mad, but she also looked _hurt._ For a second, I let that confuse me, but then I felt an anger of my own rise up. It is my job, my sworn duty to fight in this war, but Dani always found a way to pull me back from battle. It’s like she treated me like a child like someone who is incapable of fighting. That had to be the only reason why she hated me going out to the field.

I was _not_ a child, and I could stand up for myself. I was sick of her treating me like that weak, helpless kid she met years ago. I was not that kid anymore.

“This is too dangerous for you, Commander.” I said, putting my foot down, “You can’t be here with us. We make one wrong move, and you’re dead. You can’t put yourself in peril like that. We can’t let you.”

Dani’s eyes narrowed, her nostrils flaring. I could tell I was about to get an earful, around peers nonetheless.

“Uh,” Corporal Avery’s voice broke the conversation, “guys. Do you hear that?”

After a moment of silence, I did, in fact, hear it. The sound was a distant hum, a deep grumble that I could feel through my muscles. I turned towards the noise to see an object in the sky. From this distance, it looked no larger than a baseball, but as it approached, the details became much more clear.

“HK! Get down!” I shouted, but only a second before an explosion landed only meters from me. The sound was deafening, and the blast threw me to my back. I tried to gasp for air, piecing together the last few seconds through the ringing in my ears, and the confusion of it all. I couldn’t hear anything, I couldn’t feel my fingers, but I forced ash out of my lungs, and some blood came with it.

When my brain caught up with my body, my first instinct was to turn and look for Dani. She wasn’t that far away, curled into herself. I could see her breathing from where I lay, but her eyes were screwn shut. Realizing that my legs didn’t have any feeling in them, I crawled over to where Dani lay.

“Dani, Dani.” I meant to say, but I couldn’t hear the words come out.

The smaller woman stirred in front of me, blinking her eyes open. I noticed immediately that her left eye was a deep red, a blood vessel must have popped in the explosion.

I spoke again without hearing my words, shaking Dani’s shoulder to make sure she was functional. She blinked, then stared with wide eyes. I shouted again, hoping I would hear it this time around; there was only ringing.

Dani’s mouth moved, teeth snaring as she curled her lips with her words, but I couldn’t hear it. I shook my head at her, lost. She raised her eyebrows in horror, then lifted one of her arms to point over my shoulder.

When I turned, I saw that we weren’t hit with a bomb, or a ranged IED. It was a terminator, deployed from the HK. The impact from such a ranged attack must have caused the explosive reaction. The Rev-8 uncurled itself, standing tall with thick black tentacles stretching from it’s torso.

I acted on instinct, reaching for the rifle, which landed not far from where I did, and squeezed the trigger with as much strength as I could muster. Bullets fired into its metal torso, sparking and crunching on the nearly impenetrable body. The machine turned to me, head cocked with machine curiosity. A jolt of fear cracked through me as the murderous eyes settled on me, but I didn’t move. I stayed in front of Dani, firing over and over.

The moment it prepared to leap, a harpoon fired into it’s hip. The machine stumbled aside from the momentum, staring at the assailant, which was Lieutenant Holmes with a harpoon gun. No idea where she could have gotten that from, it wasn’t part of the armory.

I wiggled my jaw, freeing my ears from the dominant, high pitched whine that blocked my hearing. I couldn’t hear everything, and the blood continued to run down my ears. A loud thunk, followed by a hiss indicated that someone had fired the anti-aircraft gun. The missile collided with the ever closer HK, making it crash into the ground, resulting in a grumbling explosion.

The Rev-8 whipped a tentacle at the harpoon line, snapping the chord. It lashed back, striking Holmes across her torso and her face. The augment groaned, and dropped the rope, instinctively reaching to the lash mark.

Now with freed movement, the machine attacked, diving forward at Holmes. I set frozen, guiding Dani with my own body as the augment was impaled by the machine. She gasped, grabbing on to it’s tentacle in a desperate instinctive push to be freed from the assault. Corporal Avery rushed to her aid, ramming an arm blade into the machine’s shoulder.

The next moment happened before I could relax. With a powerful strike, the Rev-8 lifted a tentacle, and stabbed it right through the corporal’s throat. A collective shout of anger erupted throughout all the soldiers as the corporal dropped to the ground, instantly dead. 

Rage took over every centimetre of my body, taking control of my muscles and causing me to stand without a second thought, and sprint over to the scene. I lifted my pistol, firing at the machine’s face until I was within arm’s reach.

Squeezing the button on my palm, I readied the now deployed arm blade, slicing it into the machine. With as much power as I could muster, I yanked my arm upwards, with a force that popped my shoulder out of its socket, and snapped the blade out of the holster, leaving it buried inside the metal.

My distraction was successful enough for the other soldiers to surround the Rev-8. Working together, they loaded the machine with rounds while I clutched my shoulder and hobbled back to where Dani sat. She was fine, thank God.

Behind me, there was a loud blast, then a horrible screeching noise. They had blasted a hole in the Rev-8, and it toppled to the ground. Finished. Extending a hand, I lifted Dani to her feet. She squinted her injured eye, clutching her right shoulder.

“Is it dislocated?” I asked.

“I don’t know.” Dani replied, looking behind me.

Everyone was gathered around the broken machine, but more importantly, the dead corporal. Her body was twisted on the ground, eyes wide open, a gaping hole in her neck, lying in a poop of her blood. Dani looked at the body, then shot her gaze away, unable to stomach it. But I kept staring. I stared at my corporal, my responsibility, dead on the ground.

I dropped to my knees, carefully bringing my hand up to her face to close her eyelids. Just before I did, I stared into her eyes. The cold, lifeless eyes of someone I valued so much. The eyes of a woman who cared for me, who fought for me just like I fought for my commander. I let her down. It was my job to ensure the safety of my squad in battle, but I failed, and now one of my soldiers is dead.

A chorus of footsteps stopped just behind me, with them came gasps and whispers. Everything felt so silent, even as Sarah and one of the engineers approached the corporal’s body. I glanced up at Sarah, who looked down at the dead body with hard eyes.

I shook my head, “It… it was too fast. No one could react before it struck.” My voice wabbled, no matter how hard I tried to control it.

“It wasn’t your fault, Grace.” I felt Dani’s hand touch my shoulder. I flinched.

Everyone stood in a mournful silence, a few soldiers even removing helmets as a sign of respect. A weight pushed down on everyone now that the immediate threat was gone. It just happened too fast to process. I couldn’t even fully wrap my head around it.

“Not to be insensitive,” Sarah’s gravelly voice spoke up, “but we should get some ice. You know, to prevent decay.”

I glared up at Sarah, feeling my eyes start to swell with tears.

A wounded but still functional Lieutenant Holmes and a few of her squad members began cleaning up the body, but I couldn’t find it in myself to move. Not until Dani shook my sore shoulder.

“Let’s get ourselves fixed up, then grab a beer, okay?” Dani said, resting her hand on the back of my neck.

I nodded, but didn’t move until Dani forced me to my feet, then linked her arm into mine as she walked us back to the base. Ten soldiers left the base an hour ago, and only nine went back.


	4. The Drinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dani and Grace clear the air, and relive memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little shorter, I apologize for that, but but's because I have some stuff brewing! The next few chapters are gonna be essential to world building. And next chapter will have a surprise, a bit of a supernatural element thrown into the story. Nothing that big, but something I think would be fun to add to Grace's character development. In the meantime, enjoy, and I'll catch y'all later.

I was hoping the alcohol would make me feel at least a little bit better, or drunker, but it did neither. Instead, I gripped a bottle of useless liquid, sitting beside Dani at the bar. It was relatively empty, what with all the excitement today. Still aching with my wounds, I tried to sit as still as possible on the barstool. Neither Dani or I spoke for the longest time. Her breaths kept getting deep in certain episodes, as if she was about to say something.

It was a good thing that she didn’t though, because I really had nothing to say. Not after that. As much as I was mad at myself for my fuckup today, I was furious at Dani. 

Not only did she treat me like some incompetent baby and try to keep me away from the field, but then she immediately risked  _ herself  _ by walking out there, knowing we were preparing for an attack. By going out there, she almost made Avery’s death moot.

Slurping back my beer, I regretted even agreeing to go to the bar with Dani in the first place, I should have just stayed in the infirmary and tried to get some rest. I was too mad to talk to her, and it was making things a bit awkward. I guess I could understand why she invited me in the first place, despite knowing how mad I was at her, and despite how she was mad at me. I held my tongue though, making a scene wouldn’t really help my headache.

Dani, facing the bar, gave me the side-eye look. I could tell she was beginning to get irritated with me, Whether it was the loud slurping, or refusal to break the silence, I didn’t know. I huffed from my nose, a silent challenge for her to pick the first bone. I wanted to see what she was all on about before I bit back.

But, as I expected, she said nothing. Instead, Dani just splashed around the beer in her cup before taking a large swig. If she drank like that too much, her little body wouldn’t be able to handle it. I chuffed to myself, taking another drink and rolling my still healing shoulder, it stung.

With a sudden force, Dani slammed her cup down on the bar. The bartender jumped, but I didn’t flinch.

“I don’t care how important your opinions are to me,” Dani said, “you cannot openly defy me like that in front of others.”

I closed my eyes. Of course that was all she was mad about. It’s all appearances with her. I could put a knife in my throat and bleed out right in front of her, and all she would care about is how it affected her status.

“Got it, Lieutenant?” Dani asked.

“Yes,  _ Commander, _ ” I replied coolly, “crystal clear.”

Dani glared at me, “Are you going to be like this again, Grace? Why have you insisted on being like this today?”

“ _ Why? _ ” I almost coughed, and laughed, along with the word, “because you’re acting unreasonable, that’s why.”

“So  _ I’m  _ the unreasonable one?” Dani spat back, “it wasn’t me that made a scene in front of everyone. It wasn’t me that was disobeying orders out there, spewing insubordination like an inexperienced cadet.”

I felt a growl rip through my throat, my fist curling into a claw, “Yeah? Well I don’t consistently treat my Lieutenant like a goddamn child who is incapable of being in the field.”

Dani looked at me for a long moment, “What is that supposed to mean?”

“You know what I mean,” I persisted, trying to lower my voice, “the way you always try to keep me out of the field. How you make up any excuse for me to stay away from the fight. The way you reprimand me for trying to fight for you, which is my whole  _ purpose _ here.”

Dani said nothing, she just stared at me, her expression almost taken aback.

The anger seethed from me, but the longer Dani stared in silence, the faster I cooled down.

“Because…” I started, feeling a bit lost as Dani suddenly lost her tongue. I started to doubt myself. Surely if I had called her out, Dani would have had some rebuttal for me, but the expression on her face told me that I was dead wrong.

“Because why else would you be hiding me away like this?” I said, trying to find the truth on her face.

Dani let out a deep sigh, I wasn’t sure if the wobble in that sigh was just from my imagination or not.

“Grace…” Dani shook her head, “I don’t think of you as a kid. Maybe when I first met you in those ruins, but not anymore.”

My chest hurt, “Then why?”

Dani blinked for a moment, looking past me, “Because I’ve lost too many people, Grace. People I care about. My whole life, I lost one person after the other, until I learned to not make any attachments. Friends become weaknesses during this war, Grace.”

She then looked at me, her eyes almost sparkling, “But I don’t want you to be a weakness, Grace.”

Suddenly, I felt like an asshole, “Neither do I.”

Frowning, Dani tilted her head, “I know what I’m doing is selfish, and unfair, but I’m scared, Grace.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing.

Dani’s eyes pierced mine, and I thought I’d cry. “I’m sorry, Grace.” She said.

I reached out, my hand falling just short of hers, “It’s okay, Dani. At least I know you care.”

She looked stricken, “Of course I care, Grace. You and Sarah are the only people I have to rely on now.”

Scoffing, I saw an opening to lighten the conversation, “I’m being grouped with Sarah, huh? Yikes, that’s a low bar.”

Dani smiled at me, “Tsk, be nice. Sarah saved my life.”

I chuffed, remembering that I still had a drink, “That old bag can actually be useful?”

“Grace.” Dani’s voice was a warning, but the mood of the conversation wasn’t broken, “I’m serious. I wouldn’t be here without her.”

I sighed, “Well, I guess I’ve got some boots to lick, don’t I?”

“You might be a bit late to the Sarah Connor fanclub.” Dani said, “but she knows I like you around, so she will deal with it.”

“Good.”

Dani tapped her middle finger on the bar a few times, “Sarah might be temperamental, but she’s loyal. Like you.”

My chest swelled.

“Sometimes,” Dani continued, “I think the only reason why she likes to be by my side is because of all the stuff we went through together. She saved my life, I saved hers” Dani paused, almost hesitant, “she was there when I lost…”

“ _ Him _ ?”

Shocked, Dani stared at me, “What?”

I felt my face heat, “Well, you know…” I struggled to speak under embarrassment, “there’s this rumour going around that you lost a… a lover to the war.”

Dani gave a weak scoff, looking down at the bar for just a second, before focusing back on me, “And where did you hear that?”

“Oh, you know,” My neck suddenly felt very itchy, “just locker room talk.” I felt like an idiotic fourth grader.

“Humph…” Dani chuckled, “War or not, I guess people are just as gossipy as ever.”

“So it’s not true?”

“No.” Dani frowned, “uh, well…kind of, I guess.” Her face conveyed turmoil, and I kicked myself for prodding at her emotional weaknesses. I just didn’t know.

“It’s true, that I lost someone very important to me,” Dani nodded to herself, “ _ she  _ wasn’t my lover, though. Despite how much I wanted her to be.”

My heart fluttered, my face burning out of control. Damn alcohol. Maybe I’d drank too much for the night. As much as I wanted to drop the subject, leaving Dani in peace, one last curiosity couldn’t control itself within me.

“What was her name?”

Dani squeezed her eyes shut, though it lasted only for the blink of an eye before she tapped her middle finger on the bar once again, “Can I get another one, bartender?”

Well, I guess I finally pushed her too far. I looked away, “Sorry.”

“Don’t…” Dani strained to talk, “don’t worry. Old wounds.” 

I gave a gentle nod, though I desperately wanted to know more, I kept my mouth shut. I was sure that she would tell me when she wanted to. It seemed in that moment that she wanted the subject to be changed, and that, I could do.

“I don’t blame you for being hesitant,” I said, “I was a huge brat when I first joined here.”

Dani laughed, seemingly off guard, “You  _ were.  _ God, I’d never known someone as eager to be a resistance soldier. Especially someone as young as you were when I met you.”

“Remember why you let me join as a soldier?”

“Pfft. You gave me no choice,” Dani said, “every time I said no, you’d just pull some wicked stunt. I had to enlist you, before you got yourself killed.”

I took a sip of my beer before speaking, “I always got so mad whenever you said no. I had no idea why you refused to let me fight.”

Dani went silent for a moment. We’d just finished having  _ that  _ discussion.

It was true, though. When Dani found me,  _ saved  _ me, I thought it was a window right into her army, but she was stubborn. What she didn’t know, is that I would be even more stubborn. For a year or so, I was her personal aid. Someone to keep her company in that double bunk, and run around the headquarters, being her little messenger. From the moment I met her, I wanted to impress her. I guess something in me knew that menial tasks wouldn’t be the way to do it.

“You almost cried when I said I would teach you how to fire a gun.” Dani said.

I chuckled, “Then almost cried again when you said we would start with BBs.”

“So eager.” Dani said.

“But I learned fast. I was ready for my first field mission in no time.” I bragged, though there was no one to brag too.

Dani took a big drink from her new cup, “You did. Then you got your rank, and you moved out of our bunk with that same speed.”

A pang wobbled in my stomach, “I became a soldier. As much as I wanted to stay with you, I needed to join the rest of the soldiers in the barracks.”

“Yeah...” Dani seemed distant.

I turned to her, pondering whether or not I should pry once more, but then a yawn forced its way through my lips. A yawn of Dani’s own came after. We both laughed.

“It’s been one fuck of a day.” Dani said.

“I feel like I could sleep for a day.” I responded.

Dani offered a warm smile, “Then let’s go back and get some sleep.”

I tilted my head, “‘Let’s’?”

“Mhm,” Dani stood from her bar stool, almost wobbling, “Sarah has your old room, so you can take the couch.”

“You let Sarah take  _ my  _ room? The place I slept in? How dare you.” I said, my teeth flashing in a smile.

“Save it for the morning, will you?” Dani slapped down some cigarettes on the bar as payment to the bartender, “you’ll already bother me enough tonight will all your snoring.”

I huffed, “I don’t snore.”

Dani smiled at me, “I guess we’ll see tonight, won’t we?”


	5. The Voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Grace experiences something out of the ordinary  
> (Plus, in celebration of national Non-binary day, a reflection on the turning point of Grace's identity)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First things first, happy national Non-binary day! To celebrate, I figured I would give some backstory to Grace's non-binary identity (which was actually somewhat inspired by my own story [except the part at the end, which will hopefully be obvious when you read it]) it's also a third person hybrid between a dream sequence and a memory sequence.  
>  I had a lot of free time on my hands, so I got this next chapter out fast.
> 
> Second thing I need to say, is if anyone has any questions about the work, whether you'd like updates or just to chat about the work, y'all can send me an ask on Tumblr, or a DM on twitter (Both can be found at @/Fuffywumple)
> 
> Anyway! Enjoy everyone!

“Sarah, you here?” Dani called, pushing open the door to her quarters.

“Kitchen.” Sarah replied, her voice grating through the air.

Dani lifted her head, sniffing the air. I took a deep inhale along with her. It smelled like cigarette smoke in here.

“What did I tell you about smoking in here, Sarah?” Dani said.

Sarah, from the kitchen, scoffed, “and what did I say about doing whatever I want?”

I groaned, “That’s no way to speak to your commander, Sarah. Aren’t you supposed to be a veteran soldier or something?”

There was a second of silence, then Sarah peeked her head out from the kitchen doorway, “What are they doing here?” She asked Dani.

“Sleeping.” Dani replied, walking to her room.

Sarah made a face, one that I was also probably making, “She’s not sleeping in my room.”

“Oh,  _ your  _ room, huh?” I start, “that’s so-”

“They’re taking the couch.” Dani interjected, walking past me with a ratty pillow in her hands. “Be nice, both of you.”

Sarah raised an eyebrow, “Uh huh. Dani, a word?”

“Can’t it wait until morning?” Dani’s voice was almost a whine, “I’m sore and my eye is killing me.”

“It’ll only be a minute, come on.” Sarah insisted, though her tone was sympathetic.

Dani turned to me, “There should be some blankets in that chest over there. Get yourself comfortable. I’ll be back.”

I nodded, “Roger.”

Smiling, Dani walked backwards to the kitchen, only looking away from me at the last moment. I watched her dip into the kitchen until she was finally out of sight, sighing lightly before turning my focus to the chest in the corner of the living room. This place was like a mini apartment. It reminded me of the one I lived in before Judgement Day, just a little smaller. That was the perk of being the commander, I supposed.

“Okay… blankets.” I mumbled to myself, opening the latch to the ancient chest, shoving open the heavy lid. It was made of old wood that left dust on my fingers. I used my forehead to keep the lid open as I wiped my hand. My other shoulder was too fucked up to lift it at this point.

Keeping my forehead on the lid, I reached in and grabbed a folded up fleece blanket. I ran my thumb over the material. I was pretty sure that blanket seemed familiar. It was one that I found during a scouting mission. It was in an old department store. I smiled at it before blindly tossing it towards the couch.

I took one last glance into the chest, and to my surprise, I found something out of place. It was a bulletproof chestplate, but not one I had ever seen before. It looked… primitive, like something that was made before the war. I reached in and grabbed the chestplate, closing the trunk so I could rest my forehead.

Running my fingers along the shredded and torn armor,I knew there was no way this was made for the war. It looked like a plasma bullet would completely incinerate it. I frowned, picking at what remained of the obliterated armor. Whoever used this endured something extreme, there’s no way they could have survived this kind of blow, not with the technology before the war.

That begged the question… whose was it? Judging by the damage to the material, if Dani had been wearing it, she wouldn’t have lived to tell the tale.

Maybe it belonged to Dani’s lover. I frowned, looking down at it. No wonder why she would be sensitive about the topic… it must have been a brutal death.

I turned the chestplate over, to find some dried blood still clinging to the material. It was a deep brown, crusted right into the plate. Peppered across the armor was stains of blood, dirt, ash, and some honey-like material.

A sudden force in my stomach made me feel ill, I grunted, feeling dizzy, and I felt my muscles trembling. I tried to blink away the dizzy spell, but it only got stronger. The hand that was touching the chestplate started to go numb, the feeling travelling up my arm until my head felt light. The next time I blinked, my vision didn’t come back.

_ “I’m sorry, Grace.” _

_ “I’m not.” _

I squeezed my eyes shut, then when I opened them, I was laying on the ground, groaning. The feeling of numbness and nausea drained from my head, then down my arm and stomach until it felt like nothing had ever happened. 

When I sat up, I rubbed the back of my head. Were those… voices? Where did they come from? And who was it? The first one sounded like Dani, and she was talking to me? I blinked, looking around the room. Dani was nowhere to be found, probably still talking with Sarah.

“Uh, Dani?” I called out.

The voices from the kitchen halted, then Dani emerged from the doorway, “What’s wrong, Grace?”

My mouth was dry, “Did you just… say something to me, just now?”

“Like what?”

“Um,” I thought about it, “an apology?”

Dani looked at me like I was pulling her leg, “Did I just  _ apologize  _ to you?”

I nodded, a little sheepish. Well, when she put it like  _ that _ , it makes me seem as though I feel entitled to an apology from her. I was in enough hot water with her for acting out lately. I didn’t want her to think that I was also an entitled brat.

“No,” Dani said, “I didn’t apologize to you just now.”

I rubbed the tender spot on the back of my head again, “Sorry. I just,” I paused, “I thought I heard something.”

She stared at me for a moment, arms crossed, before she went back into the kitchen. I felt like an idiot, sitting on the floor, the chestplate hidden under my legs. Grabbing it, I put it back in the chest, flipping the latch shut. That piece of primitive armor gave me the chills, something about it didn’t sit right with me.

I grabbed the folded blanket and brought it to the rundown couch. My aching bones and sore muscles gave me a hard time laying down, but I managed to sprawl myself out on the couch, then haphazardly spreading the blanket over my torso and some of my legs.

For the first time in over 24 hours, I felt relieved when my head hit the pillow. All the tension in my neck and shoulders drain out of me. I felt lighter, almost like I was floating on the pillow that smelled like Dani.

Taking a few deep breaths, I knew it was just the mix of exhaustion and alcohol that made me hear things that weren’t there. I took a few deep breaths, inhaling the smell of Dani on the pillow under my head.

I rested my hands behind my head, closing my eyes. I felt so much more calm and comfortable being back in Dani’s quarters than I ever have sleeping in the barracks. Gone are the sounds of restless soldiers; whispering, snoring, and sometimes crying. Here, all I had to do was remind myself that Dani was just in the next room, and I could never feel safer.

I tried to hear what Dani and Sarah were talking about, I had a feeling it was about me, seeing as Sarah never skipped a moment to lecture Dani about me behind my back. I tried to give it no mind, and let my new good mood keep me content.

After a few minutes, Dani walked out from the kitchen. She had a gentle look to her face as she walked to the couch, “All settled?”

“Hmmm…” I hummed, nodding at her. Seeing Dani’s face through the drunken exhaustion in my mind made me feel warm. I had this instinct to grab her and pull her in, cuddle her close and never let go, just like we used to when I first joined the resistance as a soldier. I kicked the thought from my mind, the alcohol was making my thoughts inappropriate. That’s no way to think of my commander.

Dani sat on the arm of the couch, just by my feet, “You feeling okay, Grace?”

I tilted my head.

“I mean, you saying that you think you heard something.” Dani clarified, “I just want to make sure you were feeling well.”

“Oh, I’d nearly forgotten about that.” I admitted, “I’m okay, just a little tired… and drunk.”

“Me too.” Dani smiled, “I think it’s time to get some sleep.”

I nodded, “Goodnight, Dani.”

Standing up, Dani walked over, leaned down, and kissed my forehead, “Goodnight, Grace.”

Heat bloomed in my stomach, and I melted into the pillow. I wanted to call Dani over for a brief second, tell her something important. But I slipped into unconsciousness before I could remember what I wanted to say.

_ Grace knew they were Non-Binary exactly one year after Judgement day. It was such a clear memory. They remembered it, because everyone had been making a big deal about the ‘one year anniversary’ of the end of the human race, when it was a sudden pang in their mind. _

_ Okay, maybe not ‘sudden.’ There was a caravan of scavengers making their way around the ruins of Dallas, yelling and throwing beer bottles, belting out at the top of their lungs that, “it if officially year-one of the Planet of The Machines.’ _

_ As much as Grace tried to hide from the scavengers, she wasn’t so lucky. They had caught them in plain sight, trying to find the materials to build a fire. Grace hadn’t eaten in days, and their stomach always hurt. _

_ When the scavengers had stopped, one of them glanced over at Grace, looked at them like they were a piece of meat. He was missing a tooth, but had tidy blonde hair, and a clean shaven face. _

_ “You all alone, little girl?” He had asked, a cruel grin on his face. Feeling terrified, but not willing to let it show, Grace didn’t answer, and pushed their long hair into their face. _

_ “Aw, come on, don’t you want to be friends?” The man stepped down from the old jeep that his friends sat in. A few of them laughed, it made Grace’s cheeks burn. _

_ The man walked over to Grace’s fire, squatting down across from her, “What’s on the menu?” _

_ Grace stared at the fire. _

_ “Cat got your tongue?” _

_ “No.” Grace mumbled. _

_ When Grace looked up at the man, they saw a grin on the man’s face. _

_ “How old are you?” The man asked, his breath spreading to Grace. _

_ “Twelve.” Grace replied, feeling their voice squeak. _

_ The man laughed, turning to his friends, “We got a tween on our hands, fellas.” Everyone in the run-down jeep erupted in laughter, the cruel kind. It made Grace’s stomach swirl. _

_ “A little girl like you can’t be alone around here.” The man said, “it ain’t safe for ya. Why don’t you come with me and my friends? We’ve got a place for you to say.” _

_ Grace felt sick, and tried to ignore him. _

_ “Hey?” The man tilted his head, looking a bit irritated, “I’m talking to you, kid. Let’s go. Not much time before dark.” _

_ “No.” Grace said, speaking silently. _

_ The man chuckled, “No?” _

_ Grace gripped the knife in their pocket. _

_ Looking back at his friends, the man chuckled, then turned back to Grace, “I don’t have time for this.” _

_ Grace still regretted their next move to this day. _

_ When the man lunged at them, they bit off his pinkie finger. When he cried out, and swung at them with his other arm, they dragged their knife along his leg, piercing his femoral artery. He dropped down, bleeding out in seconds. _

_ They yelped, looking at the man’s body. His friends jumped out of the car in an instant, brandishing weapons. Grace was lucky to find a small hidey hole, crawling in it to hide from the man’s goons. _

_ That was the first time Grace had ever killed someone. They wished they could say it was the last, but it wasn’t. After that day, Grace knew it was time for a change. They found a rusted pair of scissors, cutting away the long hair, until it made them look like a boy. _

_ Hearing that man call Grace ‘little girl,’ made them feel sick. They had never liked being a girl, especially as they grew up. They got called a Tom-boy as a child, by both family and friends. It stung, sometimes, but Grace knew it was right, they never felt like a girl. Sure they had pigtails as a kid, but it was their mother’s idea, and they only went along with it because they wanted to make their mom happy, but deep down, being a girl made Grace feel like some stranger in their own skin. That ‘little girl’ was the final straw. _

_ As Grace slept on Dani’s couch, a person in their mid-twenties, shaped by war and the battle of their gender identity, they were grateful to have a person who cared about them, who respected them. Even while asleep, Grace felt infinitely appreciative of Dani. _

_ It would only be a matter of time until they found out that they were in love. _


	6. The Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dani and Grace face off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote most of this while I was hungover, so please don't judge me for it.  
> With each new chapter I write for this fic, I get more uneasy, because I've never done anything like this before, but I also get more excited to see where I take this.

“Alright, crew. There comes a time when we have to put aside our comfort zones and put our safety on the line. We can’t live our whole lives in luxury. We have to make sacrifices to ensure victory, or else it isn’t really a win. We can only take out what we put in, and we can only survive if we fight for it. We can’t falter, we can’t give up. We can’t give in to pain, fear, judgement, or intimidation. It all comes down to this, squad. The next few hours will determine our future, or fate within this bleak world. We are strong, and we won’t let our enemy take us down.” I turned, looking at the squad.

“Now. Let’s play ball.”

My soldiers cheer, strapping on the rest of their armor.

“Alright everyone, before we get to the game, we have a new player on the team.” I said, nodding towards Private Juniper. “Let me go through the rules real quick, then we can kick some ass, okay?” There was a few scattered whoops, and the new player nodded.

“Revball is a relentless sport, that does not know forgiveness, nor comfort. The sport itself is a hybrid of a few pre-war sports. Those being soccer, basketball, and football. It is played with a ball that is roughly the size of a cantaloupe. It is made of pure Rev-8 skeleton, melted down, and morphed into an appropriate shape.

That means it is heavy. Like, 115 pounds of heavy. It takes a warrior to lift it, and a near-immortal being to endure a clean hit from one after it’s thrown or kicked at you. That is why we have the essential armor to protect you from being killed in the game. Chestplates, knee pads, shoulder pads, helmets, full-facial protection masks, and double plated steel toe boots, all crafted from terminator metal, ensure minimal damage from the ball. But expect to get a bruise or two.

As far as the rules go: you may kick the ball, you may throw the ball, but you may only do one of them at a time. No dropkicking, no picking up the ball immediately after kicking it. You cannot intentionally throw the ball an opponent’s face or head. You cannot shove, but you can trip. No kicking, no punching, you need to play a fair game.

There are floor hazards in the arena. Each hazard is announced by flashing lights, and a beeping alarm. Portions of the floor outlined by a flashing, thin red light may either rise or fall. Terminator coolant may be splashed on to a section of the flooring. Keep your eyes peeled/

Getting the ball in the opponents net is worth a point. However, for each individual the ball is passed to before the goal is scored, you get another point. That means, the total number of points you can get between goals is six. The game ends after two twenty minute intervals, ties are settled in a one-on-one round.

This game is played in leagues. 

The beginner league is just that: younger or more inexperienced soldiers can play the game in a more lax environment. The ball is smaller, about the size of a baseball.

The private league is a step up from there: a more intermediate version of the game. The rules are a little more strict, the ball is grown to it’s basic size, and the rewards are that much more sweet.

The firefly league, which is the league we are all currently playing in, is the highest league of all human players: Experts, with years of familiarity with the sport go head to head in competition. In this league, the floor hazards of the arena are activated. We have to be quick on our feet.

The augment league, similar to the beginner league: is for inexperienced, rookie, or new augments to try their hand at the sport. Even the most unskilled augment could obliterate any human at this sport, that’s why they aren’t mixed with us.

Finally, the Rev-9 league is a beast of it’s own: Highly skilled augments endure a limitless game, where the rules are very lenient, and the floor hazards have no warning before activation. Finally, the ball grows in size, it adds about one quarter of its original size and mass, making it not only heavier, but deadlier.”

I turned to the newest recruit, “Got all that?”

Her jaw was open a little, but she nodded, almost like she didn’t really understand, but there was no point in hearing it again.

“Good.” I looked at the rest of my team, “Foxtrot. Let’s win us the quarterfinal match!”

“Foxtrot!” The team shouted, rising to their feet and slapping each-other's gear.

Before leaving, I grabbed my Captain’s jersey, and slid it down my back. Last of all, I strap on my helmet, then slid the mask down over the entirety of my face. Immediately, the mask’s HUD system flashed to life. They say that the HUD system on these helmets are similar to those of augments, but it was more sport motivated, less battle motivated.

As soon as I stepped out into the pitch, a bright light shone down right in the middle of the arena. Well, I say ‘arena,’ but really it was just our track that got redecorated for the occasion.

Dozens of children off duty night guards, and elderly lined the walls of the arena, ready to watch the show. Sometimes I felt like it was counter intuitive to be hosting a game that injures and decommission soldiers, and not to mention draws the attention of people around the base to be distracted.

But whatever improves morale, I guess.

My team followed just behind my feet, each one of us walking with our heads high. My HUD began to shift, showing the condition of my teammates. Each of them displayed an ‘ACTIVE’ over their ID shots.

“Welcome, one and all, to the last quarterfinal match of this Revball season!” The ref announced. I shot my head over to face her, and saw that it was Lieutenant Holmes who was reffing our game. Of course, how had I not recognized her earlier?

The attack was a little over a week ago, but of course with her augment healing, she looked like she had never been better. However, my shoulder still clicked if I moved it in the wrong direction.

“Tonight we have a good one. An absolute treat for you all!” Holmes said, talking into a radio, that must have been attached to the comm system. “On the right, your favorite orange and white devils, lead by Team Captain Harper.”

I felt humbled by the cheers that came from the audience. I was high ranking, and thanks to my closeness with Dani, a lot of people knew who I was, but I didn’t think I was quite the jock in the field.

“It’s team Foxtrot!” Holmes finished.

The cheers became louder, and I looked forward, out to where the next team would enter. I’d be lying if I said I always keep up with the tournament bracket, so I couldn’t know who our opponents were.

Lieutenant Holmes cleared her throat, “Now. Out of the left side, we have the highest of high, the reigning champions, led by Team Captain Ramos: team Zulu.”

Everyone in the crowd roared, a few even rising to their feet to welcome the team draped in purple and black. Team Zulu was the elitist team of the firefly league, made up entirely of high ranking officers and officials. Dani asked me to be on that team a long while back, but I refused. The game would be so much less fun if I didn’t have the pleasure of facing Dani now and then.

The Zulu team emerged onto the field, flashing lights following them. I stood at the center point of the arena, my team standing behind me, all in formation. Unflinching, I stood on my side of the line, waiting for the Zulu team to take their formations.

As Dani got closer to me, I noticed the heart rate monitor on my HUD beginning to rise. It wasn’t uncommon for me to get jittery before a match, but it was uncommon for it to be this bad. I squeezed my right hand, pushing down each finger at a time until I heard the joints crack, even through the glove, and my mask.

Dani stopped as soon as she reached her size of the line, she stood barely a metre away from me.

Dani cocked her head, “You ready for this, Harper?” Her voice was warped through the mask, it’s audio system making it sound deeper and more crisp than it actually was.

“I’m sure as hell ready to smoke you.” I replied, my muscles tense.

She chuckled, “We’ll see about that.”

I smiled, but she couldn’t see my face through my mask. I was glad for that, because then she wouldn’t see the way I smiled at her.

“Players, at the ready.” Holmes said.

I tightened my stance, scuffing the ground with the ball of my right foot. Across from me, Dani set her shoulders, then hunched down in a ready to pounce position. We stood in silence for a moment, my breath catching with every inhale. Every noise made me twitch, but Dani was as still as a statue.

“Three… two… one…” Holmes began counting down, the audience joining along. There was a long pause that made me want to scream in anticipation.

“Face off!” Reff Holmes shouted, and almost instantly, a hole opened up in the floor between us, and the ball shot out from it.

Dani was fast, but I was faster. I snagged the ball from the air, and leapt forward, leaving Dani behind to shout at her teammates. Almost instantly, her teammates started to converge on me, my eyes darted around, looking for the familiar orange and white that signaled my allies. I leapt to the right, reevaluating my options.

“Captain! I’m open!” My left striker called, waving her arms in the air. Maybe she was open, but I couldn’t pass the ball without giving it away. Number 14 of the Zulu team stood in my way, a large muscular woman. I recognized her silhouette as Lieutenant Johnson. Her and Hadrell led many of the assaults out in the field, she was a battle master. But when it came to the game, she was slow and poor on her feet.

I lunged forward, jamming my shin into the back of her knee. I hissed through the pain, it would have been easier to hit the back of that kneepad with my boot, but either way, Johnson stumbled to the ground. I waited for the whistle to tell me I had fucked up, but it never came. My mouth stretched into a grin as the audience roared around us. Those assholes absolutely love the violence of the game.

Eh, what was I kidding? So did I.

With the immediate surroundings open, I mustered all my strength to throw the ever so heavy ball several metres away. It was a risky shot, but luckily, the ball landed in the right hands. My teammate almost fell over from the fore, but she composed herself. I took long strides as I made my way down the field, hopping around players who tried to block my path.

Looking behind me, I finally began to notice my team advancing, My teammate with the ball kept running down the field with it, travelling until she reached the far end. I swore at her to stop for just a moment. While infinite travelling with the ball, in either forms, hand or foot, was allowed, it wasn’t encouraged. Yeah, you could run from one side of the arena to the other, and score yourself, but it was so much more beneficial to pass it along to your teammates. That generally helps wrack up points.

“Don’t go so far by yourself.” I hissed into the mask comm system, which allows a team to communicate between players.

“Sorry, Captain.” It was the voice of the newbie, “I’m just jittery.”

“Stall.” I commanded, hopping around my opponents, “I’ll be there soon.” I then spoke into my team voice communication, “everyone, converge on number seven.”

We ran up the field like a pack of wolves, a few of us being picked off by Zulu’s bulkier members. I just barely managed to dodge the sliding feet of one of my opponents before making myself open.

“Number seven!” I called to her, scanning everything in front of me for imminent dangers, “pass it down here!”

Seemingly relieved, my teammate prepared herself to throw the ball. She squared her shoulders, wavering under the weight of the ball; it’s very hard to handle the weight the first time you play in this league, especially when throwing large distances.

The moment that ball left her hands, I lunged forward, ready to receive it from her. But I wasn’t fast enough. Someone else shot out from behind me, grabbing the ball just centimetres from my fingertips.

When the girl lands, which is shorter than an arm’s length away from me, I knew exactly who she was by the large, bolded CAPTAIN on her jersey. Dani Ramos.

Dani turned to me, the ball cradled to her chest. I could practically see the wicked smirk through her mask.

“Good one, Commander,” I said, and we were close enough that she could hear it. “But I’ll be taking that ball from you.”

“Is that right?” Dani replied, “that sure is a bummer.”

I stepped forward, “Sorry. I assure you it’s nothing personal.”

“Well…” Dani sighed, her stance loosening. I jumped forward, ready to take advantage of her temporary weakness, but Dani was one step ahead. She met my lunge with a raised knee, slamming the hard metal protector into my crotch.

I shouted, recoiling. Whoever decided that the women’s league didn’t need crotch pads was going to have my fist in my mouth after the game was over.

“Nothing personal!” Dani said as she ran away, tossing the ball to Zulu number 4.

I growled, picking myself up off the floor, “That ball belongs to us.” I said to my team, and they cheered in agreement.

My gait was a little bit off as I struggled to keep up with the Zulu team. From number 4, the ball was passed to 9, then 22. They shot down the field, shaking my team off with ease. We looked like fools, just chasing the Zulu team down as they zeroed in on our goal.

“It’s now or never.” I shouted, sweeping the leg of Zulu number 4 to keep her out of my way. But it was already too late, before I knew it, the ball was already in our net, and our goalie was rolling on the ground.

“Goal!” Reff Holmes shouted over the roar of applause, “that’s three points for Zulu!”

I slammed my fist into my own chestplate, feeling the anger boil in me. Dani had been training her team well, no doubt. We were off to a bad start, but the game wasn’t over yet. I sprinted down to the Foxtrot goal, getting in the open position.

Our goalie looked at me, and I clapped my hands together, maintaining eye contact. She knew what to do. The moment the whistle went off, goalie Levinson hurled the ball at me. I grabbed it just in time, absorbing some of the blow to my chest with my hands, cradling the ball close.

“A little rough, huh?” I said through the team comms, dodging an advancement from my enemy.

“Be a bit more prepared next time, captain.” Levinson replied, making me chuckle. I then took off with the ball, running diagonally before throwing it to my left striker. She caught the ball with ease, tripping over an attacking Zulu player while she was at it.

“Graceful pass, Captain.” She said, tossing it to another player.

Levinson spoke up, imitating me, “Thank you, officer Brown Nose.”

“Shut it.” I interrupted the comm line, “and focus.”

Loud, mechanical chirping interrupted my focus, and my eyes immediately shot around, looking for the reason for the alarms. Sure enough, two hexagonal tiles away from me, one was illuminated in a red, flashing glow. I had only seconds to act if I wanted on top of it.

“Pass it back, pass it back!” I shouted to whoever had the ball, I really didn’t know at that point. Though it became very apparent to me when the ball was flying at me from the left. I grabbed it with ease and bolted towards the blinking floor tile. 

As I skidded on to the tile, the blinding light went solid, and the platform began to rise under me. One of the Zulu players jumped up at me, grabbing my ankle. I almost tumbled over, but I got her off of me before I was dragged down.

From my new vantage point up in the air, I looked down at the players below me, running around, trying to stumble over each other, and line themselves up for whatever my play is. Up there, I had complete power. I had the say of where the ball went, without interruption.

My eyes darted around, examining my players, and their positions, then my eyes darted to the Zulu net. My gut wrenched, unsure if I should try to make the shot, but I was desperate, and I didn’t want to pass up an easy opportunity for a few points.

I growled to myself, ready to make the shot. I squared my feet, adjusting my shoulders. This shot was going to take some finesse to land properly, and safely. But I knew what I was doing, right? Well, I sure hoped so.

Using both arms, I lifted the ball above my head. My injured shoulder burned, then almost gave or entirely as I threw the ball. I shouted from the pain, that kind of throw wasn’t good on my shoulder. Another one like it and I was liable to bang myself up. It paid off, though, as the ball shot right into the Zulu goal net.

The audience cheered around me, and standing on top of the platform, I felt like I was on top of the world. I lifted my fist into the air, shaking it in a silent victory.

“Goal! Five points to Foxtrot!” Holmes announced, and I smiled under my mask, feeling like a million bucks. The platform below me hissed, jerked, then began to fall.

I stood in place, looking around the field. When the platform landed, I found myself surrounded by my teammates, all talking at once.

“-Great shot-” One said.

“-I can’t believe-” The other chirped.

“Unbelievable-”

I gasped, uncomfortable with so many people swarming me. Another whistle from the reff made everyone scatter, releasing a bit of the tightness from my chest. We had the edge for that moment, but the game wasn’t even half over. Everyone assumed their positions once again, then waited for the whistle.

Once it blew, the Zulu goalie kicked the ball over to one of the members in purple and black. After a moment of recollection, I jolted into the heat of the game. I charged to the ball, trying to snag it from between two Zulu players, but I was too slow, and missed by a metre. I grunted, feeling a pain stretch up from my leg.

My right backer managed to snag the ball from a Zulu member, sliding through the scuffle to free the ball from everyone else. I saw it as an opportunity to give Dani and her goons a run for their money.

“Up!” I called, “up here! Pass it.”

She looked at me, nodding before kicking the ball with the toe of her boot. The ball flew up, and I grabbed it from the air. My fingers tightened on the ball, the sweat was starting to drip into my eyes, slipping underneath the mask. The adrenaline rushed through my head until I could hear the blood rushing in my ears.

Gripping the ball tighter, I brought my arms over my head, ready to throw the ball as hard as I could, to make it reach as far as it could go, but when I brought my arms down, my shoulder locked. The ball flew from my hands, and hit Dani in the temple.

“Dani!” I shouted, when everyone else said ‘commander.’

The arena went quiet as I ran to the fallen woman. I slid to my knees, resting my hands on her chest.

“Dani? Dani! Are you okay?” I pleaded, painfully guilty.

The commander reached up, prying her mask from her smashed helmet. It came off easily, breaking off from shards.

“And that…” Dani coughed, “is why we wear helmets.”

I choked on my relief, “Oh thank God. I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, what’s your deal?!” Someone shouted, shoving me aside.

I grunted, allowing myself a moment to fall over, before darting up to my feet. Johnson was stomping her way towards me, fuming.

“Trying to fuck up our captain, huh?” She growled, shoving me with hard hands.

I gulped, trying to be defensive not not engaging, “No, I didn’t mean it.”

Johnson barked out laughter, “As if. I know you play dirty, Harper.”

“It was an accident.”

“You’re the captain of a professional team,” Johnson snarled, “there are no accidents.”

I felt my fear curl into anger, and I tightened my stance, “Just leave me alone, I didn’t mean to hurt her.”

“All I hear are fuckin’ lies.” Johnson shoved me again, with enough force that I stumbled back. Anger burned in my bones, and I started to prowl forwards.

“Back off.” I said, letting the anger take control of me, “don’t make me hurt you.”

“ _ Harper. _ ” Dani snapped, “desist.”

I closed my mouth so fast, my teeth clacked together.

Dani looked to her teammate, “You too, Johnson.”

The medics lifted Dani off the ground, but she shook them off, insisting she was fine. Meanwhile, I was suspended for the rest of the game. I didn’t complain, I didn’t fight it, I just went to the penalty box and watched the rest of the game from the sidelines. Foxtrot pulled out a win in the end, but I still felt dreadful.

Back in the locker room, I waited until everyone else had cleared out before approaching Dani.

“Can I see it?” I asked, startling her ever so slightly. When Dani whipped around to see me, I could already see ‘it’ from here. Dani nodded, letting me come close.

With gentle, shy fingers, I pushed some of Dani’s hair aside, investigating the large, red bump forming on Dani’s temple.

“Medics said it’s definitely going to bruise, and it won’t look pretty.” Dani said, closing her eyes under my touch.

“Oh, Dani.” I rested my hands at my sides, “I’m so sorry.”

“You know,” Dani turned away from me to close her locker, “there are other ways to tell me you’re mad at me.”

I tried to laugh, but it came out as a whimper instead.

Dani turned to me, a smile on her face, “Kidding. I’m not mad, Grace.”

“But you should be.” I found myself instinctively leaning closer to her, “I could have really hurt you. I betrayed everything that my entire life is built on, for a  _ game. _ ”

“Grace…” Dani placed her hand on my chest, I couldn’t tell if it was to keep me away, or to keep me close, “I know you’d never try to hurt me. You’re way too selfless, too kind, too caring.” I felt my eyes water.

“Anything for you, Dani.” I said, resting my weight on Dani’s warm hand. I tied to say something else, but it took a few seconds of choking on my words to let it out. “You’re my… my best friends as well as my commander. I would risk life and limb for you, no matter what.” When the words came out, I doubted myself. That didn’t exactly sound right, but it was the closest thing to what I felt.

“You’re my best friend too, Grace.” Dani replied.

I smiled, “Does that mean I’m off the hook for almost killing you?”

“Hm?” Dani’s eyebrows raised, “oh, nope. You’re at my mercy, therefore, you owe me one. A big one.”

I chuckled, “Whatever it is, Commander. I’ll do it for you. Just say the word.”


	7. The Sleepless Nights of War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Grace shares some pre-war memories before hearing more unexplained voices & Dani acts strange

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I just went out camping for a few days, which gave me the time I needed to write out a few chapters, and give some more thought to the direction of this story. You may be happy to hear that I have a potential sequel planned out. But maybe less happy to hear that it won't be a walk in the park for Dani and Grace should my ideas for the sequel remain intact.  
> Number two on the agenda, I'm going to be making some tweaks to the tags, and description of the work, just to make things more refined. I have another chapter that's relatively ready to rock and roll, but I'm not sure if I will get it posted for another day or two (only time will tell!)  
> A BIG ONE HERE: The next several chapters are gonna be focusing on Grace's rising anger issues, which is absolutely going to serve as some vent chapters for me, lol. So if you see a theme, that's gonna be it. I want to do some character building for Grace, and I thought a great place to start would be both some self-venting, and adding on a certain personality trait to Grace that I think really suits them.  
> Last of all, there are a few notes at the end of the chapter that clear up some things that happen during the chapter, encase anyone is curious.  
> That's all from me, enjoy!

After achieving a total of 30 minutes of sleep in a four hour window, I decided that trying to sleep was futile. I sat up, rubbing my eyes before I remembered where I was, on Dani’s couch. I’ve been there for the past week, under Dani’s request. It was shocking enough that she had let me sleep there for one night, but for the past  _ week _ ? I couldn’t wrap my head around it.

Maybe that’s why I had trouble sleeping. Or maybe it was because I’ve been sleeping on a shitty couch. It wasn’t the most comfortable thing. I rubbed my face, hoping that the pressure would soothe me back to sleep, but my body still felt tense. Sarah’s loud snoring didn’t help. I could hear it through the two layers of walls that separated us. How could Dani live with that every night? I was already tempted to strangle Sarah in her sleep, and it had only been a week.

I looked around the bunk, barely able to see in the dark. I could try to entertain myself with something in the kitchen, or maybe dig around in that chest again, and see what other weird things I could find in there.

I glanced around again, my eyes settling on Dani’s bedroom door. My mind fell on what was inside. I saw Dani sleeping one time a few years ago, her small body curled up into herself, cheek pressed against the pillow with her mouth slightly open. It was cute, but made it seem like she was unreasonably stressed.

Wait wait, back up. Cute? That… that wasn’t right. Slip of the tongue. The, er, mind tongue. My head was going in weird places lately, maybe it was the stress of everything that had been going down the last few weeks. Losing my corporal, my injury from battle, the bizarre complexities of mine and Dani’s friendship lately, or maybe a combination of them all.

Whatever. I shook off the thought. It wasn’t the time for thinking about what my commander looked like while she was sleeping. I stood up, walking myself to Dani’s door, I only realized where I was going until my hand landed on the doorknob. I recoiled for a second, doubting myself. But if my instinct was to go to Dani, I should follow it.

I pushed her door open quietly, poking my head in, “Dani?”

There was a groan in the darkness, then there was the shuffling of sheets.

“Psst, Dani?”

A loud sigh, then a voice, “Grace?”

I felt like I was seven again, standing outside my parents’ room at 2 am, telling them that I puked in my bed. “Uh, hi, Dani.”

I heard Dani smack her lips, “Grace? Is that you, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.” I felt guilty for waking her up, “I just…”

“What is it?”

“I couldn't sleep.” I said.

Dani chuckled, “Is that right?”

I hummed in agreement, but didn’t speak anymore. I couldn’t see anything in the bedroom, but I imagined what Dani looked like in there, half asleep, maybe having shed some of her clothes off in the heat. I forced myself to stop thinking entirely.

“Yep. It sure is right.” I replied.

“Well…” Dani went silent for a moment, “what did you have in mind, Grace?”

My eyes narrowed, and I felt myself sweating, “What?”

Dani chuckled, “Well, I’m assuming you had something specific in mind if you came to see me, huh?”

I froze at her words. I had a limited knowledge, sure, but from what I did know, this was how pornography started.

Is that was Dani thought I wanted? Is that what Dani wanted? I felt my throat squeeze. If that's what she wanted, I didn't think I could give that to her. I didn't know she felt thatr way about me. To be honest, the more I thought about it though, the more I thought that I was beginning to think about her that way.

It was certainly not the time to be thinking about that.

"Oh, Dani." I said, not sure how to continue, "I don't think I can do that... I've never done it before, and..."

"What?" Dani said, confused.

"I mean, I'm flattered you want to have sex with me but I don't-"

"Wait, what?" Dani's voice scraped around her room. From the edges of my thoughts, I noticed Sarah had stopped snoring.

Dani's confusion shook me, "Is that... is that not what you meant?"

Her laugh was hysterical, "No, that's not what I meant." She clarified, "well... I thought that's what you meant."

"You thought  _ I _ wanted to have sex with _ you _ ?"

"Ouch."

I huffed, panicking to regain my composure, "No, I- I didn't mean to sound insulted. I-" Groaning, I rubbed my face, this whole conversation was going wrong. I hoped to wake up as soon as possible, and it was all some stupid dream. But it wasn't a dream. It wasn't a dream, and I could almost feel Dani's impatience from where I stood.

"I'm sorry, Dani. I just got scared, that's all." I said.

"So the idea of having sex with me is scary?" Dani replied, she sounded wounded.

Now I really wanted to wake up, "No- stop putting words in my mouth."

"I'm just pulling your leg." Dani said, the sheets rustling in the darkness, "I know you didn't come here for sex."

For some reason, I felt challenged. Well, what if I had, huh? What if I just walked in there, grabbed Dani, and kissed her? Yeah, right then and there, just kissed her. She wouldn't be laughing then.

She'd probably be disgusted.

I started to feel jittery, letting my head get the best of me, "I'm just going to go for a walk." I said.

As I was closing the door, Dani interrupted me, "Wait, let me come with."

I paused, "You sure?"

"Well, I'm already up anyways."

"Sorry." I cringed.

"That's okay, Grace." I could tell by Dani's voice that she was talking with a slight smile to her lips. It warmed my chest a little bit. "I'm going to get changed, okay?"

My heart pulsed. Changed from what, to what? "Okay." I responded, trying not to let the strain of my voice become too obvious.

There was a beat of silence.

"Grace?"

"Yes, Dani?"

"Can you please close the door?"

"Oh!" I jumped a little bit, "right. Sorry. I'll wait out here."

Closing the door, I turned around to face the living room. For a moment, it all looked as it should be, but then I noticed Sarah Connor standing in the far corner. She was stiff as a board, her face pressed into the area where one wall met another, and she was mumbling. I guessed I couldn't hear her mumbled over mine and Dani's conversation, but now that everything was silent, it opened my ears to Sarah and whatever the hell she was doing.

"Sarah...?" I whispered, not willing myself to take a step towards her. She stood, unphased by my whisper, still mumbling into the corner. Was she sleepwalking? No, my brother was a sleep walker when we were children, that looked like something else entirely.

Indecision froze me. I really didn't want to be getting all up in Creepo's business, but something could seriously be wrong with her. Maybe she hit her head, and was in serious need of medical care.

"Sarah." I urged again, a little bit louder that time. But once again, she continued to mumble, forehead pressed against the corner, while the rest of her body remained a few inches away. It was like nothing I had ever seen before. Not from personal experience, and certainly not from any medical training.

The door opening behind me caused a fright, one that almost caused me to screech. Sarah's spookiness threw me on edge. I was waiting for her to spring at me, arms raised, so any moment caused me to react.

"Jesus, Grace." Dani said, "what's the matter?"

Without a word, I pointed to Sarah.

Dani stared, her expression lacking a certain note of shock I would have expected from such a sight. She licked her lips, looking more concerned than anything. after a few moments in silence, I pieced together that this wasn't the first time Dani had seen this kind of behavior.

"Let's just go, okay?" She said, grabbing my wrist and pulling me to the door. I frowned at Sarah, still doing... well, whatever it was. I was sure that the concern I was feeling was solely for myself. Sarah was too much of a bitch for me to feel any sympathy for her, even when she was an old and withered bag. Respect your elders, sure. But not that one.

I followed Dani outside of the room. Once we got into more light, I noticed her a little bit more. Her wounded eye was mostly healed, but I could still see a little bit of pink surrounding her dark iris. Both of her eyes were still puffy from sleep, half lidded and rejecting the new source of light. Her hands were shoved in the pockets of a maroon zip up hoodie, riddled with tears and stretches in the fabric. The hoodie, and her torn jeans looked like pre-war material, which Dani seemed to have a lot of. I understood the idea of keeping possessions from a better time around, but they all seemed too broken and too ripped to use.

"Follow me. I know a spot." Dani said, turning left.

I snorted, "I practically grew up here. I know all the spots."

"Not this one."

Doubtful, but intrigued, I followed behind Dani. She walked with intent, shuffling down the dimmed hallways, her hand still wrapped around my bare wrist. I looked down at the spot where our skin touched, hers much deeper and contrasted against mine. I had gotten my father's pale skin, where my brother was much more tan. I saw each tendon and vein in Dani's hand shift as she adjusted her grip on my wrist.

My attention was lost on her hand for too long, because the next thing I knew, I smacked into her. Dani, who almost fell over from the momentum of our collision, had stopped moving. She turned to me, somewhat of a glare in her eyes. I whispered an apology, and in response, Dani grabbed the hem of my tank top, and yanked me into a utility closet.

Surrounded by darkness and chemicals, I hissed at Dani, " _ This _ is your idea of a 'spot'?"

"No." Dani replied, "just keep following me."

"Where?" It was pitch dark.

"Come on." Dani replied, pulling me down to my knees.

I felt my face heat, then I felt happy for the cover of darkness, "Whoa, Dani."

"Relax, and just move forward." 

I huffled, crawling forward on my hands and knees. It felt somewhat humiliating, yet part of it pushed a force of excitement. Though that feeling ended when I smacked my forehead into something solid.

"Ow. Fuck."

Dani chuckled, "Just get down a bit lower."

"Lower?" I said, "I'm already on my hands and knees."

"Then go lower."

Grumbling, I dropped to my stomach, crawling under whatever the fuck I just hit my head on. I could hear Dani laugh from in front of me, and swatted my front hand in an attempt to get my revenge. My hand caught a thin chunk of material and skin, probably the back of her shin.

Everything started to get a bit brighter, the details around me were coming into focus. We had been crawling through some sort of vent, which wasn't that surprising, given as I could hear the sounds we were making while crawling through it. I kept looking forward as I crawled, until enough light came through that I could see where exactly where I was looking; right at Dani's ass.

I shot my eyes downwards, bowing my head and gluing my eyes downward until I heard Dani shuffle and exit the vent crawl space. I dragged myself forward a bit more, my body then poking halfway outside of the enclosed space. Dani grabbed my wrists, yanking me outside of the vent altogether.

"You're not as heavy as I remember." She said, helping me to my feet.

"Then you must be stronger than you thought." I replied, before stopping dead in my tracks. We were standing on a balcony, carved into the rock that hid our base. It was a bit tunneled into the wall, probably seven or eight metres indented. We were standing in the tunnel, railing fixed at the end of the balcony right in front of us.

"Whoa." Was all I could say.

"Found this place a while ago." Dani explained, "A small balcony-like fixture inside this tunnel, so I went to work."

I looked at her, "How long did it take?"

Dani frowned, contemplating the question. " A few months, for sure." 

Nodding, I rested on the railing in front of us, crossing my arms against it. Dani joined me, taking a deep breath. It was still too early in the morning for the sun to be making any appearance, so we looked out into the night. There were no stars, there were no cicadas, or grasshoppers. No bats, no butterflies, just the whistle of the wind against the tunnel.

"So what was with Sarah’s little freak show?" I asked, noting the insensitivity of my words, but not really caring.

Sighing, Dani drooped her head down for a moment, "After seeing Judgement Day..." She trailed off for a second, as if contemplating something, but she shook it off, "what was left of her already crumbling sanity kind of... ripped apart."

"Pfft." I shrugged off the sob story, "what could have possibly caused her to lose her sanity before? Old age? Maybe that crippling alcoholism?"

Dani's disappointment was clear on her face, and even more clear in her voice, "We've been through this. She lost her kid, the boy's father, and who knows what else."

"We've all lost people we love." I said, brushing it off.

"You're too hard on Sarah."

"Yeah, probably." I looked off into the distance. The air didn't smell as bad as it was for the last few weeks, it was actually quite enjoyable. Until a few loud booms were heard in the distance, and a mechanical screech. The mood around us both felt sour, and Dani was eager to change the topic.

"The world used to be so beautiful." Dani said, her body leaning forward in yearning.

I wanted to say that I did, too. But the truth was that I didn't remember much about the world. Sure, I was eleven when it happened, plenty time to remember things, but my memory since Judgement Day wasn't what it used to be. I stayed silent.

Dani looked at me, "Did you have a family?"

"Well, yeah."

She raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, right." I cleared my throat, not thrilled to speak on the topic. "I had my mom, my dad, my sister and my brother."

Looking at Dani, it didn't look like any of that was new to her, "What was your brother's name?" She left the mention of my sister alone, though. There wasn't much to say there anyway.

"Adam." I replied, my voice hoarse.

Dani nodded, a sympathetic smile on her face, "Adam and Grace."

"Grace and Adam." I corrected, "I'm older."

Her smile got a little wider, despite my somber tone, "By how much?"

I scratched the back of my neck, trying to scrape the memories together, "Five years?" Dani nodded, her gentle eyes easing even more out of me.

"There's only a few small chunks that I remember before Judgement Day." I allowed myself a moment to relapse into memory. "But there is one big one that I do remember, very clearly."

Dani's hand slid over until her pinkie was grazing mine, "Tell me about it."

If Dani was eager to hear it, then I was eager to tell it, "Well, we were at the playground one day..."

_ Young Grace stayed nice and close to their younger brother, Adam, at the strict request of their parents. They said that he needed close supervision from his big sister, any loafing around could get him back in the hospital again. _

_ Grace understood their parents loud and clear, then took Adam's small hand and rushed over to the small slide. It was the boy's favourite part of the whole playground. He would bed and beg to go there every day of the week so he could play on that slide, and Grace knew that was the first spot he would want to go. _

_ It was rather busy at the playground, a bunch of children running around, squealing with joy, and a few parents sitting on benches, or standing outside of the fencing, watching their kids with joy. Grace tried to forget about their parents for a while, and follow Adam around to wherever he wanted to play. _

_ Every week, the Harper family would be situated at that playground. A time for little Grace and Adam burn out their energy, all while getting some nice fresh air. Grace loved park day, so much to the point that they barely slept the night before. But even while running on fumes, they would chase their brother around that playground all day. _

_ After the sun leapt across the sky, and some clouds started to form overhead, it was getting late, and young Grace was getting tired. _

_ "Grace! Grace, come on honey. It's time to go." Mom called, perking up the ears of the still somewhat rambunctious child. At the signal, they turned around, scooping their younger brother up before planting him away from that red slide, then chasing him along with tickling little hands, to make sure he wouldn't be tempted to run back. _

_ "Come on, you two." Mom said, grabbing her purse, "grab your stuff, you guys." Grace snagged the little bracelet, and snack bag that belonged to them, fixing each item in the proper spot. _

_ After everyone was squared away, they all walked outside of the park fence, stepping out into the road. Grace skipped forward, then felt Dad's hands tickle them from behind. They jumped, turning half around to avoid his plots. _

_ At that moment, a silver Jeep shot through the crosswalk, not far from where Grace was standing. It had all the windows and doors removed, noting but it's frame remaining. Grace could see that there were two women in it, but they couldn't identify either of them. _

_ But it was something about that Jeep, it had Grace mesmerized. They continued to stare at it until it drove away, and dad turned their attention back to the road. But even after they had crossed to the sidewalk, Grace checked to see if that Jeep was still in sight. _

"I even still remember that the licence plate started with an E." I said, staring out at the nothingness that was at the end of the tunnel. After a moment, I looked over at Dani, but the woman refused to look at me. Something about her seemed distant. Something inside me started to boil. She coaxed this memory out of me, then started to go all distant and quiet on me? There was a reason why I kept those memories unspoken. Then opened a part of me that I didn't like.

After a few beats, Dani finally had something to say, "It's nice that you at least have one decent memory of your family." She said, still not looking right at me.

I had been boiling for too long, and I couldn't help the snap. Not when I had just bottled too much up, "Yeah? Well it shouldn't have to be some sort of distant memory. They were my family." My breaths came in snarls the next few moments, then I remembered who I had just snapped at.

"I'm sorry, Dani." I said, turning to her.

Dani smiled, "It's okay, Grace. I've been around you long enough, that I know how to handle your anger issues."

My eyes widened at such an insane accusation, and my fingernails clawed at the metal railing, "I don't have anger issues."

She looked at me, an eyebrow raised, as if thanking me for proving her point. I sighed, shrinking down. "Yeah... I guess you're right."

"This is a time for anger." Dani replied, "when they've taken so much from us. We have a right to be mad."

I looked down at my hands, they were still curled into claws, "But it's more than that." I confessed, "it's a constant burning, an anger. It lives in me, it controls me. I can't help it some days, and I let the heat take over."

Dani's hand landed on my shoulder, and it knocked me out of my own mind. I looked down at her, curled up inside the maroon hoodie. It looked too big for her, like it was a family member's, but she took it for herself. I did that with my father's jacket after he died. After he was killed in it. I felt guilty, and burned it.

Under her touch, I felt better. The slight breeze cooled the flame in me. I reached up, grabbing her wrist through her hoodie. With this close proximity, and nothing but the wind around us, I felt myself leaning in to kiss her. I don't know what was coming over me, but her lips looked so soft, so gentle.

Before I knew it, everything was spinning. My head began to pulse, and the hand that was resting on Dani's wrist went cold, then numb.

No... no. It was happening again. Dani said something, but I couldn't hear it. My head felt like it was underwater. My vision bubbly, my hearing was poor and muffled. I almost tipped over, but managed to regain my balance. The ringing in my ears got louder and louder, until it screamed, and my vision went white, then pitch black.

_ "Dani? Dani!" _

_ "They can shoot me, but I'm not watching you die.  _

_ It's okay. It's okay!" _

When I realized my surroundings again, my forehead was pressed against the cool metal handrail. I was slumped over, held up only by Dani's arms. I couldn't help the groan that bursted through my lips, and carefully pushed myself back up on my own feet. Dani stood beside me, clearly strained from holding my weight.

"Grace? Hey! Are you okay?" Dani said, holding out her hands near me, prepared to catch me if I were to fall again.

I tried to speak, but all that came out was a hum. After clearing my throat, and centering all of my focus, I tried again.

"I'm okay." I said, each word a challenge.

Dani licked her lips, eyes skidding across my face, "What happened? You just blacked out."

I shook my head, "I don't know." I replied, "I just heard something."

"What was it?" Dani asked, "what did you hear?"

My breathing was wobbled, but I pulled a few breaths in, and pushed a few ones out before I could speak without vomiting, "I heard you."

I could hear Dani's gulp, "What did you hear me say?"

"You said..." I tried to remember exactly what had happened. The whole thing was so fast, I was sure it was soon to become a blur in my mind. But yet, when my mind reached back for it, the words were still floating around in the back of my head.

"'They can shoot me, but I'm not watching you die.'" I recited the words, "then something after, like it was all okay. But it didn't sound okay."

I didn't notice until after my rambling, but when I looked at Dani, she looked frozen with horror. Her eyes were wide, pupils dilated, they spoke of horrors. Her body was rigid and unmoving, I couldn't even see if her chest was heaving from breath, leaving me to believe she had stopped breathing in total.

In my worry, I hesitated before saying anything, "Dani...?" The more I looked into her eyes, the more I recognized the look in them. She knew something about this. I was sure of it.

"Dani." I warned, "you know what I'm talking about, don't you?"

"What?" Dani squawked, "no! No, no! Not at all! I don't know why you'd assume that. I've never said anything like that in my life. I don't know a single thing about this, Hehe!"

Now I was the one freezing. Dani, my war-hardened commander, was talking with the voice and mannerisms of a child. Her bright voice, and childlike giggle was the only admission of guilt I needed, something was up.

"Well, Dani. I know you're-"

"It's getting pretty late." Dani interrupted, forcing a yawn into the end of her statement. "I have a lot of commander stuff to do tomorrow, so I need a long rest. And, you..." Dani trailed off, pondering for a moment, "you look tired. So let's go to bed, huh?"

"Dani-" I tried to put my foot down, but Dani grabbed me, and pulled me back through the vent, and took us back to her bunk. She didn't talk to me, or even look at me the whole way back. She was hiding something, and whatever it was, it had to do with the voices I'd been hearing.

No matter what. I was going to figure out what she was keeping from me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before y'all ask, yes that flashback at the playground is the final scene in the film told in Grace's perspective (I kept their pronouns they/them as to be respectful for their current identity) I figured about Grace's brother and sister through combing scenes of the film (you can see what may be the sister in the flashback of the plane crash. There's a girl in her late teens standing by Grace's parents)


	8. The Commander's Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Grace gets schooled by their seemingly combat-deficient Commander.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna wait to post this one, because I just posted chapter 7 yesterday, but then I decided that I didn't care, so here it is!

I woke up the next morning to voices coming from Dani's room. I sat up, my head feeling heavy from exhaustion. There's no way I slept more than five hours last night. Especially after Dani sneaked me away to her favorite spot.

The memory of it was comforting, but only for a moment. The whole thing was ruined by the memory of Dani's shady behavior. She would be like that sometimes, just shutting down whenever it came to talking about the past. Trust me, I knew how much it sucked to talk about how things used to be, how much better they were. And how it happened before I was even a proper teenager. I didn't even have a life before it all ended.

No way I was getting into that rabbit hole again. That wasn't the focus, anyway. The voices from Dani's room didn't let up. I couldn't hear any words, but I knew it wasn't any pleasant conversation. Maybe it had something to do with Sarah's little act last night. I knew Dani said that her mind was a little... withered, but even then, something had to be said about that.

When I stood up, I had to rely on my quick reflexes to prevent falling right over. I needed way more sleep, and rest after passing out last night, but the urgency of the voices drew me closer. Dani's door was cracked open only a little, enough to hide right next to it, and listen, without getting caught.

Dani spoke fast, "I'm telling you, Sarah. They know."

"You're making less and less sense the more you talk." Sarah sounded like shit, and more than usual, "you do know that more words should equal more clarity, right?"

A growl came after. Dani seemed to be getting as sick of Sarah's shit as I was, "Grace knows about what happened. Before Judgement Day."

I narrowed my eyes. The only thing I said about my life before Judgement Day when we talked yesterday, was that memory of me and my family at the playground. Of course I knew that, it was my memories of childhood, why wouldn't I?

Sarah paused for a few moments, "What do you mean, they 'know what happened'?"

"They remember what happened at the border."

"How do you know that?"

"Because," Dani sounded desperate, "they said they heard me say exactly what I said when border patrol found us sneaking through the wall."

Once again, it seemed Sarah was at a loss for words. "Impossible. They can't remember something that hasn't happened to them."

Dani must have been out of her mind, and for once, Sarah was making sense. I've never had a confrontation with border patrol. There was that one time when my family was going to vacation in Mexico, and the border man thought my dad was high, but that was just the way his eyes looked normally.

"But it did, Sarah." Dani said, "maybe not this one, but it happened to  _ a _ Grace."

Maybe it was the pure confusion, or the fact that I knew Dani was keeping a huge secret from me, or maybe even both, but I shoved the door open without thinking. Both Dani and Sarah looked like they had been caught with their hands down each other's pants, recoiling.

I stood silent for a few moments, wondering if Dani was willing to share her theories now that I was present, but she kept silent, almost glaring at me.

"Get out." Sarah said, bent over at the shoulders.

I gritted my teeth, looking at Dani. My best friend, the only person I cared about, I valued the opinion of, and the one person I'd lay my life down for. The commander looked remorseful and she jerked her head, encouraging that I leave.

A loud scoff ripped my throat, "Unbelievable." I turned, storming from the room. It stung. It stung like hell when I knew Dani kept secrets from me, especially ones that definitely need my attention. All my loyalty wasn't given a second thought as she ignored me like that. After everything I said to her, as much as I've opened up painful memories for her to peruse at will. It was an understatement to say that it stung.

The boiling was coming back again. It started in my chest, then ran down into my fingers, my stomach, and my hips. It wouldn't stop until yelled, or threw a punch. It took over my thoughts, so painful I thought I might cry. The anger wasn't to be consolidated until my outburst led to blood being shed, mine or someone else's.

"Grace." Dani said behind me, "just slow down a bit, huh?"

The door to the bunk was already open, and I was already out in the hall. I really didn't have time for Dani's 'super important Commander talk' that she conveniently couldn't tell me about. I was the highest ranking officer under her, and her self declared best friend, I think I deserved to hear whatever it was.

"Speed up, then." I replied, not giving kindness any leeway in my voice.

"My legs aren't as long as yours."

I huffed, making a right turn, "That seems like a you problem."

"Just stop, okay? Let me talk to you."

"Really now?" I kept walking straight, leading to the training room, I needed something to hit. "I think you missed your chance to do that already."

A few bystanders in the halls, cadets leaving the barracks, soldiers getting off the night guard duty, stopped to watch the commotion. There was no more room in my head to bring them any mind. I was consumed by the heat of anger. Anger caused by my Dani.

"Lieutenant Harper," Dani warned, "you're causing a scene. It is unprofessional and embarrassing."

I laughed, "Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, Commander."

The training room was empty, at my mercy. I walked into the sparring area, my bare feet giving me a little bit of a bounce on the mats coating the floor. It took Dani a moment to catch up, and when she did, she was fuming.

"What has gotten in your head, Harper" The smaller woman snarled, using my formal title, despite us being alone. "I thought you were done being a pouty child."

A strangled noise escaped my throat, and I prepared for a rebuttal. That was different, I was angry for another reason then, this was something completely new. Dani beat me to it.

"We talked about this, and I thought it was behind us." Dani said, like a kindergarten teacher reprimanding a student for stealing a classmate's toy, "you cannot throw tantrums all the time, Grace. Doesn't matter why you're angry, that's not how problems get solved."

The anger in my chest rose, and bloomed through me. What happened to last night, when she was all nice and understanding? I guessed that she just decided to turn that on and off whenever it was convenient to her?

"Just go away." I growled, ready to cry from the pressure of pure anger crawling under my skin.

Dani shook her head, "Not until we talk this out."

"There's nothing to 'talk out', Dani. You're still treating me like I'm the definition of ineptitude. What's with the hiding? Why do you feel the need to keep a secret about myself, from me?"

The commander looked down, "Grace..."

I knew what she was about to say, "Don't tell me I won't be able to handle it, because I will, Dani. I can handle it."

Dani's eyes were full of pain when she looked at me, "You're just not ready."

Another surge of heat threatened to rip my skin right open. My eyes watered, "You can't be serious."

Her remorse hit me like a tidal wave, cooling down the flame in me, but not enough. I continued to stare Dani down, not believing my own ears. I just didn't think I could get through to her, because if everything I tried so far hadn't worked, then I didn't know what would.

"I need you to trust me, Grace." Dani stepped forward, "I know what I'm talking about, here. Give yourself time, you're not ready."

I shook my head. How was I supposed to trust her, when I caught her blatantly lying?Last night she said she had no idea what I was talking about, now this morning her and Sarah are whispering about it, like I wasn't even important in that conversation.

It was decided in my mind, I squared my feet, taking a deep breath in. If Dani thought I wasn't ready, I'd do whatever I could to change her mind. She read my body language, stiffening up in response.

"I'll prove to you that I'm ready, Dani." I said, ready to spring.

"Grace, do you really want to do this?' Dani replied. I scoffed, there was no way Dani could take me. She hasn't stepped a toe into the battlefield and come back with a victory for as long as I've known her. The last time she was out in the war was when she came up to see the commotion last week, and her still injured eye told the story of how that went.

This would be easy, I could kick her to the ground in an instant, then she would have no choice but to give me an answer. I smirked, not being able to help it, and shot forward, trying to catch Dani off guard. It failed.

The commander stepped out of my way, allowing me to stumble forward. Okay, maybe I underestimated her response time, but it wasn't over. She forgot to give me a strike during all my reeling, so I could swing back in full force. I brought my elbow back, hoping to strike Dani in the side, but instead, she grabbed my elbow, softening the blow with her palm.

With the awkward position Dani had me in, I felt no choice but to drop down, trying to sweep her legs. It worked, and Dani stumbled back, but she didn't let go of my elbow. She pulled me down as she fell over, twisting us around so that I slammed into the floor on my back, Dani pinning me down.

"Give up yet?" Dani panted, her smile shaping the hard breaths pushing from her lips.

I huffed, testing Dani's hold on me, "Don't be cocky."

In a moment, I turned the tables. I broke Dani's weak pin on me, and rose to my feet. She looked impressed, and not at all surprised. She wanted me to break loose. I let her get to her feet, giving her mercy. She would need it, anyway. Sure, a swift victory would be fun, and better looking for me, but what fun was it to not give Dani a chance to surrender?

The anger was making me cocky, I had to curb it before I got myself in trouble here. We both stood in silence, analyzing the enemy, waiting to strike until the opportunity was perfect. 

Anticipation was killing me, so moved to make the difference. I reached out to knee her groin, but she was faster than me, again. She caught my knee, refusing to let go. I kicked out my foot, catching her shin with the top of my toes, it caused both of us to cringe a little bit. Balancing on my one foot was getting tiring, so I swung my right arm to release my knee from her one hand, but she used her last free hand to grab my wrist.

Dani seemed to have the advantage, until she realized I still had a free hand. While all she had was her feet remaining. If she swept my legs, there would be no doubt that I would fall forward, toppling her. So she stood, unwilling to let go, but unable to strike again.

I had to think of my next move carefully. One wrong move, and I would surrender control to Dani. I jerked my knee again, occupying Dani's mind with that distraction, then using my free arm to seize Dani's left wrist. She tried to yank her hand free from my grip, but I kept it iron tight. In turn, she tightened her hold on my other hand. Our arms were intertwined, but my legs were now free.

This wasn't what traditional sparring looked like. We were locked in a competition of dominance, desperately trying to keep a hold on each other. I stared at Dani, and she looked back. There was so much less fire in her eyes than I expected. She looked calm, sage and prepared for any outcome. I was the only one desperate to win this. I was the only one that had something to gain.

In my time lost in thought, Dani took advantage of the situation. She freed herself from my newly loosened grasp. I snapped to attention, springing myself forward, launching a fist at Dani's chest. But I had been lost at thought too long. My attack easily missed, and Dani slammed her knee into the back of mine. The strength was enough to cause it to buckle, and for me to tumble on to the carpet, face first.

Dani had bested me.

I panted, head down in defeat. I couldn't even look at her. When was the last time Dani even had any hand-to-hand combat with another person? And she beat me. Maybe I was a much worse fighter than I thought I was.

The rage simmered down in my belly, the overwhelming heat and pressure of it forced a tear from my eye. I told myself it was that, not the sting of defeat.

"I guess you're right." I admitted, keeping my eyes on the ground, "I'm not ready yet."

Dani was silent.

When I looked up, she was staring down at me, her gaze hardened. There was still a kind expression to the way she looked down at me, but it was second, hidden further behind.

"But when I beat you, and I will." I swore to her, "you'll have to tell me."

Her eyes narrowed, disappointed, "No, Grace. You can throw all the punches you want, but only time can tell when you're in the right state of mind to hear the truth."

I sighed, the weight of the breath pulling me down further. She was right, I couldn't punch my way through to a secret. Not only did I lose hilariously, I fought for no reason.

My mind was too busy handling my defeat, that I didn't notice Dani's hand, ready to pull me up. I huffed, reaching up and squeezing her hand. She started yanking me to my feet, and I helped by pushing myself up along with her.

"You feeling better?" Dani asked, her words sincere, "a bit more calm, maybe?"

With a sigh, I nodded. The heat was almost gone, it's pressure loosening up my gut. I didn't feel like I was going to cry anymore. I guess I was the brute that everyone saw me as, solving all my emotions by punching them out. I let my anger get the best of me again, and I let it out on Dani, again. I don't know how she hadn't given up on me yet, even after all the times I snapped on her. As I got older, I got angrier. And as I got angrier, I got stronger. I needed all the help I could get if I wanted to avoid hurting her or anyone else with my many outbursts.

Dani smiled, looking genuinely relieved, "So you're not mad at me anymore?"

As much as I hated it, Dani had a way of getting through to me. I saw her point, I heard what she needed to say.

"It wasn't cool saying I was having a tantrum, though." I replied, accepting when Dani wrapped her arm around my shoulders, and pulled me close.

Dani nodded, "Sorry. I wasn't trying to hurt you, I just thought that matching your anger would get you to calm down."

"Yeah, well." I said, "it did not work. And frankly, I don't know why you thought it would."

She laughed, a wonderful noise. "Yeah, me neither."

We started walking out of the sparring room, Dani's arm still wrapped around my shoulder. "Want to get some food?" She asked.

"Oh, totally" I leaned into her touch, causing us both to sway a little bit from my weight. My stomach growled.

We walked in silence for a little bit longer, but there was one last thing itching in my mind, "Dani?"

"Yes, Grace." She responded, keeping me close, and guiding us outside of the sparring area.

"Can you teach me how to fight like that?"

Her laugh was infectious, "Of course, Grace. We'll start after breakfast."


	9. The Practice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Grace finds out that they’re not as adept in combat as they thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted, but a lot of things have been on my mind, so I hope this chapter will suffice.
> 
> I just wanted to say that if any of my content/works seem a bit too familiar with what’s going on in the tag, feel free to comment below. It’s never my intention to steal from/harm other creators on this tag, so if you feel like my content is doing that, please let me know.
> 
> Anyway, here’s chapter 9

“Focus, Grace. You’re too rigid, too stressed. You have to be loose, let yourself flow with the combat.”

I took a deep breath, shifting my weight to balance out in my feet. Redirecting the tension in my hips and shoulders down to my ankles, I kept my feet planted firm, while adjusting the rest of my body to be more careful, and ‘flow with the combat’ much easier.

Dani flinched forward, pulling back from her attack just a second before swinging, but I was already too far into my counter. I had jumped forward, one hand out to block the attack, but it was never coming, so instead, I stumbled forward, and hit the ground after losing my footing.

The commander sighed, “You’re anticipating the attack too much. You must read the body language of your opponent before you strike.”

I pushed myself to my feet, brushing off the non-existent dust off my shorts, “Isn’t the point of it to block my opponent’s attack  _ before  _ they hit me? I need to be ready for anything. I  _ should  _ be anticipating the attack.”

Shifting from her combat stance to her neutral stance, Dani shook her head, “That is true, but if you move at every single opportunity, you’ll find yourself open for when the actual attack hits. Prioritize, only strike when the opponent creates an opening.”

I huffed, preparing my stance once again. I told myself over and over again to stay loose where it counted, drawing the tension away from my shoulders and hips. Dani and I stood in silence for a moment, the commander sliding herself into a combat-ready position. After a few beats, she tries to trick me again, moving in for the kill, just to draw back a moment later, as if rethinking her decision. It didn’t get me that time. I shifted my front foot back, reconfiguring my stance to stay out of her way, but not giving myself up. The smile on Dani’s face made my chest swell.

Dani swung forward again, just to pull back. I brought out one arm to block the hit, keeping the other one close to my chest. As soon as I could, I corrected myself, shuffling both arms back in a protective stance, but it wasn’t fast enough. Dani went in for a real swing when I was occupied, connecting her fist with my shoulder. My hips were too loose to keep me planted, causing my body to twist, then fall backwards onto the ground. First on my ass, then my head.

From where the Old Bag sat, Sarah gave a hoarse chuckle, “How the hell are you  _ this  _ high ranking, but can’t take a weaker woman in a fight? If I were your superior, I’d have someone of your competence level scrubbing toilets.”

I was the top fighter of my class in training. I beat down every other cadet when I was only a teenager. What happened to that? Where was my fighting spirit when I needed it most? It was making me look like an idiot in front of Dani.

A coil wrapped itself around my chest, squeezing and squeezing until it brought out the heat, “It’s not every day I need to engage in hand-to hand combat. You can’t  _ punch  _ a Terminator.”

Dani, looking unimpressed, gave Sarah a withering look, “Behave yourself, would you?”

Sarah grumbled, tapping the bottom of her cane on the ground beside her chair. She looked between me, then Dani, catching herself in Dani’s stare. There was a moment of silent communication between them. Dani shuffled the shoulder closest to me, and Sarah shook her head. The commander then mouthed something, I couldn’t quite see it, given that my angle was behind her on the floor, but Sarah seemed far from impressed.

After an eventual sigh of defeat, Sarah pushed herself up, balancing herself on her cane, “You’re putting too much weight on your heels.” She said to me, “on your feet.”

I huffed, looking to Dani. She gave me the all-clear, jerking towards Sarah as a means of telling me to obey her. Sarah did technically out rank me, a fact that I detested every second of my waking life, but it was all up to Dani, so I didn’t say a peep about it.

Well, most days.

I pulled myself to my feet for the second time, waiting for further instructions. Sarah looked at me for a moment, then smacked my achilles with her cane.

“ _ Ow!  _ What-” I started.

“Rest your weight on the ball of your foot.” Sarah commanded, looking displeased when I did nothing. She smacked my heel again, bringing out a yelp from me. “Come on, now.”

Not wanting to get hit again, I shifted up on to the balls of my feet, lifting my heels off the ground altogether. Sarah looked down at my feet, pondered for a moment, then sent her cane down to my left foot. I acted fast, jerking my foot away just in time.

Sarah looked impressed, “See how easy that was?” She said, before jabbing down at my right foot. I dodged that attack, too, shuffling my right foot back. The coil around my chest started getting tighter, and the pressure brought a tear to my eye.

Before I could get Sarah to buzz off, she slammed that damn cane right into the centre of my left foot. I swore, jerking up that leg, then kicking forward with my right foot. Sarah’s hand grabbed my ankle, and she yanked it, causing me to tumble over for the third time in ten minutes.

“Damn it!” My voice tore through my throat, I slammed by fist against the mats below me. Instantly, I regretted both actions. I could feel my heartbeat in my throat, and my hand had troubles properly curling back into a fist.

Above me, Sarah huffed, then walked away. I wasn’t worth her time. I had to force hard breaths between my clenched teeth to keep the tears from spilling out, but I could tell I was failing. My body was consumed by flames, burning hot fury that threatened to break me down to pieces. When Dani reached down her hand to help me up, I smacked it away. She let out a light gasp, her blinking eyes shocked. I wanted to feel bad, but my feelings of remorse were incinerated in the fire.

I pushed myself up to my feet at my own accord, pointing over to Sarah, who had begun to walk away, “We aren’t done, Connor.”

Sarah turned back to me, an eyebrow raised in annoyance, “Really? Because we seem pretty done.”

“Grace.” Dani tugged at my sleeve beside me, “don’t fight with anger. It’s okay, we’ve only been at this for a few days, you’ll learn with time. Your hand-to-hand skills may not be amazing, but you are one of the best marksmen this army has seen, and you know how to handle your own out there.”

The coil in my chest eased up, letting me breathe a little more, and I found myself leaning further into Dani’s touch. It was only for a moment, though, as Sarah had to come in, swinging a wrecking ball through my peace.

“That soldier can’t fight.” She said, “having someone that inept in such a position of leadership is a liability.”

“Lay off.” I shouted, my throat burning from the strain.

Dani placed a hand on my belly, her skin felt cool compared to the raging heat searing across my body. Sarah’s eyes moved themselves down to Dani’s hand, watching as the commander gently squeezed and unsqueezed her fingers, everything that I felt over the fabric of my shirt.

Sarah licked her lips, “Favouritism is no way to lead, Dani. I thought you were better than this.”

As we both watched Sarah leave, my jaw slowly fell open, my distaste crawling out through the gaping entrance, “That woman is a nightmare. Have I said that already?” Dani had no rebuttal, she didn’t snap at me for being rude, or tell me to give Sarah respect, she just gave a deep, heavy lung sigh. For a moment, just one, I thought Dani was starting to see Sarah my way.

The commander scratched her head, “Something has been bothering her lately.”

I chuckled, though my gut twitched at the loss of Dani’s hand, “Lately? She’s had a stick shoved up her ass since I met her.”

Dani didn’t indulge me, she gave me a look that implied she wasn’t impressed, but there wasn’t much she was willing to do about it, “I mean it, Grace.”

“So do I.”

The smaller woman ignored me, watching as I bounced on the balls of my feet. “She’s getting distant with me.” Dani confessed, “talking less and less, and unwilling to let me examine whatever pains or sores she has.” The tome of her voice was actually concerning.

“She’s slowing down, Grace.” Dani was wounded, “I think something’s up, but she’s hiding it from me.”

“Stubborn bag.” I said, though it wasn’t meant to be hostile. Dani understood that, but glared at me nonetheless.

Dani wiped the sweat-damp mat with her foot, “I think that whatever it is, is causing her to lash out.”

“Lash out?” I echoed, “no way.  _ I  _ lash out, this is something different.”

“Speaking of, Grace…” Dani said, and I knew I was in for it.

“I know, I know.”

“Do you?”

“Yes,” I said, “I do. I need to… control my anger more. Internalize it.” I turned to Dani, hoping she would see the desperation in my eyes, “but it’s so hard. Even when I keep it unchecked, the pressure is too much. The anger makes it all impossible. It all boils up in me; the heat, the pressure, the pain. I can’t help but let it all out, or it feels like it might kill me.”

In that moment, I swore I saw Dani’s lip wobble, “Oh, Grace. I want to help you. I can’t imagine how it must feel with all that anger stacked up, from your words alone it sounds like hell.” Dani paused for a moment to sigh, “but I can’t help you if you don’t tell me when it hurts.”

I screwed my eyes shut, suddenly aware of every little feeling going on around me. The pressure of the sweat-slicked mat on the bottom of my foot, the gentle breeze from the fans inside the training area hitting my face, the way my calf felt itchy, the sounds of people speaking in a distant room. My back was sore, my ass was sore, my feet were sore, and so were my hips. All of it, every single piece of stimulus made me so furious, and the part that made me the maddest: I didn’t know why.

“It always hurts, Dani.” I admitted, my voice so quiet I could barely even hear it.

I heard Dani’s steps along the mats before her hand was on me again, it caused my eyes to fly open. Dani rested her arm on my shoulder, it was a gentle and caring touch.

“Then I want to be here for you.” She said, and I almost kissed her.

Again, again and I don’t know why I got that urge. Why I sometimes thought about it in the shower, and why I felt like we were never close enough to each other, even when we were standing right next to each other. The confusion alone was enough to kill me, and I noticed that it started to boil up inside of me.

“Thanks Dani.” I strained, trying not to let myself move without my own permission, “but could you please not touch me?”

“Oh.” Dani seemed a little heartbroken, and I hated it. She dropped her hand away, despite how much I wanted it back on me, I knew that if she kept touching me, the confusion would make my anger rise until I acted, whether it was good, or bad.

“Is that better?” Dani asked, and I nodded.

We both stood in silence for a moment, neither of us sure what to do. With renewed courage, and a lack of Sarah fucking Connor, I looked to Dani.

“Can we try one more time before dinner? I think I’m getting the hang of this.”

Dani smiled at me, “You sure?”

“If it’s just you around, I should be okay.” I said, returning Dani’s smile. We both assumed combat position, and, without thinking about it, I lifted my heels from the ground. I consistently shuffled my weight from foot to foot. Dani’s eyes glued to my feet, watching as I never stood still for a moment. I saw her shoulders tighten for a second before she struck.

I snapped my arm out, grabbing her wrist with ease. Before I could let her try again, I yanked her to me, smacking her back into my chest, and twisting her arm between us. Using my free arm, I wrapped my bicep around her neck, I put her in a loose chokehold. Dani gasped, her breaths rising and falling fast against my stomach.

“Well,” Dani panted, “you learned fast.”

Looking down at her, I didn’t like how close our faces were, “I think you let me win.”

Dani paused, her throat bobbing beneath my skin, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She looked up at me, and our noses bumped before I jerked my head back.

I knew exactly what I was talking about. She gave herself a tell before jumping in for the attack. That second of tensing her muscles, her whole body seized in preparation, but she hesitated too long. And I knew that Dani never hesitated.

Panting, Dani folded, she tapped on my shoulder, a silent beg to be released from my arms. Reluctantly, I let go, hating the loss of heat and smooth skin against mine.

“ _ Don’t _ take it easy on me, next time.” I warned, though I’m sure Dani could see through my bluff. She smiled, turning to face me, but not stepping away. We were almost touching, and I could feel the heat radiating from her, it made me shiver.

Dani raised her eyebrow, “Cold?”

_ Without you I am,  _ is what I wanted to say, but instead, I said, “Yeah. The fans are cold.”

“Race you to the showers?” Dani asked, her cheeky smile cracking her face.

“Oh, you’re on.”


	10. The Truth Serum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Grace and Sarah play nice, and Grace has a little bit too much to drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At last, we are in the double digits!!  
> Sorry this chapter took so long to get out. So many things have been going on. Mainly a really large mental health crisis relapse which caused me to go into a dark pace, and do some things I'm not proud of (not to other people, of course) I just needed a few days to get back on my feet.  
> Second, because my lovely girlfriend took up nearly 100% of my time since said relapse, I haven't had much time alone to get stuff done (yeah, I know you're reading this, Dicknips. Love you)  
> But anyway, here's chapter ten! I'll get started on chapter 11 within the day, and my hope is that I won't make y'all wait too long for another chapter (tho it may be inevitable, sorry)  
> PS: this chapter sucks oops.

The moment I knocked on Dani’s office door, I regretted it.

My regret was solely because I knew that Dani wasn’t in there. No, that day, Dani was at a board meeting with two other Resistance District leaders. The first was Commander David Markson of the Carson City, Nevada division. The second, was Allison Reyes, of the Vancouver, British Columbia division. It was bizarre that she needed to tend to divisions that were over a thousand kilometres apart at the same time, but as the leader of the entire Resistance, she had her fair share of responsibilities.

And, as the loyal fool I was, I promised Dani that I would babysit Sarah for the day. Normally, Sarah was capable of handling herself, but with Dani fearing how much she was slowing down lately, I was on Senior Citizen Watch. 

My first knock received no answer, so I figured Connor was slacking off. I gave a harder knock, feeling the tingle on my knuckles a second later.

“There is no way you’re Commander Ramos,” Sarah said from inside, “so there is no reason why you’re bothering me. Go away. Do not disturb.”

I huffed, rolling my eyes so hard that it stung, “Yeah, I’m not Dani. But I’m here on her behalf.” I could hear Sarah’s disdain through the thick wooden door.

“Whatever.” Sarah said, which I took as a ‘please, come in,’ and pushed open the door with faux elegance, presenting myself as I stepped in. Sarah didn’t pay me any mind, using an old, tattered book as a shield to avoid me.

With pouting lips, I tried to goad Sarah on, “Aw, what’s the matter?”

“I don’t need a babysitter.” Sarah grumbled, flipping a page of the random book in her hand, it looked like half the pages were either missing, or torn out. As much as I wished that was true, because if it was, I wouldn’t have to be there, Sarah really did need a watchful eye. If Dani was right, and she was starting to slow down, it was good to have someone around in case of any inevitable emergencies.

I mean, I probably would have been fine if the old bag finally kicked the bucket, but Dani? Not so much…

“No one said you did.” I lied, sitting on the other side of the desk. Sarah still refused to put the book down, grumbling some sort of curse at me.

“I’ve told that kid a thousand times now, I’m fine.” Sarah said, flipping the page again, there was no way she was actually reading it.

“Well, I guess she never listened.”

“Stubborn kid,” Sarah said with adoration, “she learned that from you, y’know.”

I paused, my cheeks heating, “From me?”

For a moment, Sarah looked as if she was questioning what she had just said, her mouth curling into a distasteful shape. She smacked her lips, “Sure. She used to be  _ decidedly  _ different. Then, you came along.” Sarah’s voice was sour. “You rubbed that stubborn, bratty personality all over her. Now she’s all prickly and unprofessional.”

I flashed my teeth, “She’s a good leader.”

Sarah nodded, “I agree. She just used to be someone I could agree more with.”

“You work best with a brick wall.”

“Careful.” Sarah challenged, “insubordination isn’t a pretty color on you.”

The heat crashed around in my stomach, sloshing around the nausea, “What’s your deal, Connor?”

“My deal?” Sarah dropped the old book to the floor, “my deal is that I don’t like you.”

I scoffed, “The feeling is mutual, you crazy old bitch.”

To my surprise, Sarah slammed her fist down on the table, the water inside of a glass wobbled from the impact, “Do you know why I don’t like you?”

“Because you hate everyone that isn’t the woman in the mirror?” I said, my nails digging into my leg.

Sarah chuckled, shaking her head at me, “I wish I could say it was because of your attitude, but it’s because I don’t think you’re good enough for Dani.”

Something shattered in my chest, causing my lungs to deflate. I pushed out a breath, but it felt like stale air and weakened the integrity of my entire body, “What?” I asked, breathless.

The old woman seemed pleased that she had knocked the air out of me, “Harper, your job, your entire life is now only good for one thing, keeping Dani alive. You are nothing but a shield to keep her alive, that’s what you signed up for the second you became a soldier here.”

She leaned forward, and I could smell whiskey on her breath, “There might come a day, when the only thing between Dani and a Terminator, is you. And right now, I don’t think you could keep her safe from it.”

My whole world felt broken. That was my  _ purpose  _ that Sarah was insulting. How dare she dictate whether I had what it took to defend the only person in my life that mattered?

I jumped out of my chair, slamming my hands on the table, “Fuck you, Connor. I won’t have your old-timey, cynical ass devalue  _ everything  _ I have worked for since Dani saved me. I would do anything for her, I would kill every Terminator that walked this earth for her. I would follow her to every edge of this earth, and I would carry her through hell.  _ I  _ have more dedication to that woman than  _ any other person  _ on this planet, and I don’t need  _ you  _ telling me that I’m not enough for her, because I  _ am _ .”

Sarah just looked at me, her lip twitching ever so slightly. With small movements, she rose from her chair, slow and steady. When she placed her hands on the desk, she leaned in closer to me, the underside of her eyes were wet. She took a deep breath as she spoke, “You just don’t understand. You will, soon enough, but right now, you just need to get something wrapped around that thick skull of yours: you can be as loyal as you want, you can follow that woman around until you die, you can talk for hours and hours about how you’ll protect her, but nothing matters until you’re in the moment. Your words mean  _ squat _ if you can’t actually do anything. You need to be ready, you need to show us that you are a competent fighter. Because following her around like a puppy isn’t going to help you when you’re out there fighting for her life. If you don’t have the skill, you’re useless.”

I gritted my teeth to keep from screaming, from crying, from hitting until my knuckles bled. She was  _ right.  _ She was right and I hated it. My teeth ground together, trying to push out as much anger as I could without an outright explosion.

“You-” I started, but it didn’t feel right. “I-” Nope, didn’t work either.

While Sarah’s smugness was still apparent, she let it die down somewhat as she kept talking, “I want what’s best for Dani, Grace.”

“Me too.” My voice scraped out.

“I know.” Sarah nodded, “but you just  _ aren’t  _ that. Not yet.”

“But I can be, one day.” I said, “I will be.”

Sarah nodded, “Maybe. If you learned to  _ listen  _ to me someday.”

“To  _ your  _ mean ass?’ I scoffed, “why would I want to do that?”

“A soldier can’t be coddled. They learn best from harsh conditions and negative reinforcement.” Sarah said, which absolutely did  _ not  _ sound true, “it allows them to be ready for the harsh world of war.”

Wait. Was she saying what I thought she was saying?

“So, this whole time..” I bit my lip, “you weren’t being a wrinkled old bag, you were trying to train me?’

The woman grumbled, “‘S the way I was taught. Figured I could make you one hell of a competitor.”

The heat inside my chest turned pleasant, and it forced a grin to my mouth, “Sarah, you big softie.”

The old woman sat back down in her chair, indifferent, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I sat on the desk, perched near Sarah, “You were only hard on me, because you wanted me to be in shape to protect Dani.”

“Isn’t that the goal around here?” Sarah put her aviators on, probably so I couldn’t see the truth in her eyes. I’d get it out of her myself, no doubt.

I bumped her shoulder with my fist, and Sarah looked like she was just about to break my wrist for it. “You’re not the mean old bitch you pretend to be,” I said, “you care about Dani, and about  _ me _ .”

Sarah turned her head away from me, “You’re one hell of a cock, you know that?”

“Aww,” my smile was authentic, “thank you.”

The old woman kept her face away from me, even when I looked directly at her. After the playfulness left me, there was still one question. “Why?”

Sarah adjusted the sunglasses on her face, she probably couldn’t see squat, “Why what?”

“Why me?”

Sarah whipped her head to look at me, her teeth scraping against each other in her closed mouth, “I don’t know. You’re the closest to Dani right now, and you’ve got potential. You’re a nice height, and have a soldier’s muscle tone.”

I raised my eyebrow, “Does it also have anything to do with what you and Dani were talking about a few days ago?”

“If you knew the answer, why did you ask the question?”

“Because, I thought at least  _ one  _ of you would tell me the truth.”

Sarah wasn’t pleased with that answer, “Grace, you’re just not-”

“-ready yet.” I finished with her, earning me what I assumed was a sharp glare under those aviators.

Connor sat back in her chair, “Look. If you’re not here to get me some more bourbon, then get the fuck out, okay? I don’t like visitors.”

_ That’s  _ the old bag I knew. Against my will, I smiled, standing up and wandering over to a bookshelf that looked like it was on its last legs. Inside the cabinet, there was all kinds of assorted junk; from tattered books, to first-aid equipment, and broken glass. But among the shit, was a nearly full bottle of alcohol, a light brown liquid that drew my eye.

I picked up the bottle, twirling around to face Sarah, my mouth folded into a wicked grin, “ _ This  _ bourbon?”

***

Three glasses of liquid courage later, and I was bursting out into laughter at everything Sarah said. The pressure in my chest was gone, and my body felt delightfully warm and tingly all over. Normally, I didn’t like to drink enough to the point of being drunk, but fuck it, I deserved a bit of a break, didn’t I?

“So, I was standing there,” Sarah continued to tell her story, “and this guy, and I mean a  _ real  _ asshole, says to me, ‘what’s your number, hot stuff?’”

“Oh god,” I groaned, the words thrown out with heavy weight behind them, “he actually said ‘hot stuff’?”

Sarah shrugged, “It was the 80s.”

“You do know that means almost nothing to me, right?” I said, trying to keep my words from mixing together. Sarah made a face. I shrugged in response.

“ _ Anyways _ ,” Sarah cleared her throat, “I looked at the guy and said ‘I don’t have a number.’ Yeah, like that was gonna stop him. So he went on to grill me about how everyone’s got a phone in their house, and that I’d be crazy if I didn’t. So I looked at him and said, ‘I guess I’m crazy, then.’”

I paused, waiting for Sarah to explain how she kneed him in the balls, or beat him until he was bloody and bruised, or maybe even got him in a chokehold with a gun to his head. But she just sat there, pouring herself another drink with a still steady hand.

“That’s it?” I asked, after waiting for far too long.

Sarah nodded, “That’s it.”

That didn’t sound right, maybe the alcohol was imprint my perception. Despite the idea, I took another swig, “So… you didn’t hit him, or insult him, or load a rifle into him?”

Sarah chuckled, but shook her head.

“Seriously?”

“I was a different person back then.” Sarah swirled the drink in her hand, looking at me, “I was… kinder, gentler, more playful.”

A laugh growled from my throat, “What I wouldn’t give to see that.”

“Yeah, well…” Sarah tipped her head back, causing her to down yet another glass of alcohol. She had completely drunk me under the table, yet she seemed fairly sober. I, on the other hand, had to grip the base of the chair to not fall over. “That Sarah is dead, I killed her.” Sarah rasped, setting her glass down.

“Your first casualty in this new world, huh?” I said, in a surprising moment of sobriety.

Sarah nodded, “One of many.”

I looked down at my drink, then at Sarah’s empty glass, “I’d like to think that I’ve killed off what used to be of me.”

The older woman frowned, “Why? I’d do anything to be my old self again. To not only be concerned with war, death, and booze.”

Sighing, I shrugged in a sloppy way, “that part of me didn’t know what real struggle was. At least, I think.”

Sarah raised an eyebrow, but waited for me to continue before speaking.

“I’m gonna be honest,” I said, trying not to puke, “I don’t really remember who I was before all of this. Well, before I met Dani.”

My eyes started to water, I blinked profusely in an attempt to correct them, but instead it caused tears to fall from both. I saw Sarah’s throat bob through the blur of my vision, and I scrambled to wipe away the tears, really not gunning for a lecture on how soldiers don’t cry. Lucky for me, I wasn’t given one.

“In my eyes, it doesn’t matter who I was before I met her, because she is all that matters to me. She’s all that  _ should  _ matter to anyone.” I found myself rambling on and on, somehow uninterrupted from Sarah’s end. She only sat there and looked at me, lips twitching every so often, but almost unnoticeable

Meanwhile, words kept falling out of my mouth, and I didn’t know how to stop them, “I’m nothing without her. This  _ world _ is nothing without her. I owe her everything I have, and everything I am. She saved my life back at those ruins, I’d be dead in a ditch, my body used as fertilizer for the metal flowers of this machine world, without her. She  _ saved _ me, and I’d do anything to save her.”

Sarah’s eyes popped open a little bit, like she found some familiarity in what I was speaking about. It only registered in my mind for half a second before I continued to let more shit spew from my lips, “She’s my saviour, the only person I care about.”

“I love her.” And at that, realizing what I had just said, I started to bawl. Sarah’s face shifted from shock, to heavy discomfort.

“Okay…” Sarah said, then repeated it louder when I continued to cry. She clenched her fists, not sure what to do, then rose to her feet. Sarah made her way around the desk, outstretching her arms as far as they could go to grab my shoulders.

“Alright. Let’s, um…” Sarah grabbed under my armpits, lifting me to my feet herself. I was surprised at how effortless it was for her. Old, sure, but still ripped.

“Let’s lay you down, huh?” Sarah said, waiting until I was on my feet to start pushing me from behind, guiding me to the couch.

“I’m sorry.” I blubbered, but I really wasn’t sure why.

Sarah gave me a gentle shove, causing me to topple over onto the couch, I landed with an  _ uhf  _ on my face, then twisted to my side. Sarah had said something to me, but I didn’t hear it, seeing as I was thrown on the couch and all.

“Just… go to sleep, okay?’ Sarah said, her face still contorted into discomfort.

I narrowed my eyes, hiccuping through the tears, “It’s, like, one in the afternoon.”

“I really don’t care.” Sarah returned to the desk, “just don’t cry near me and I’m a happy camper.”

“Roger.” I said, then waited in a drunken mess for Dani to return from her meeting. And I made sure that, under no circumstances, was I to be drunk enough when she returned, to tell her what I told Sarah. I couldn’t risk scaring her away. 

Not when I needed her the most.


	11. The Crash Site

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Dani, Grace, and the Foxtrot squad investigate a mysterious Dragonfly crash north of the base.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hola everyone! So this chapter took a bit longer than I wanted to, but it's also the longest chapter so far (?) This chapter is a fairly important one though because, as y'all will see, it marks a large turning point and realization in Grace's mind, that will change the way they act and think for a long time to come. Anyway, enjoy!

Once again, I didn’t sleep worth a blink. Every single noise and feeling buzzed around in my head, so loud and so persistent, no matter how small it really was. Being back in the barracks was less than ideal, but I really couldn’t blame Dani for kicking me back here. She said it was strictly because she didn’t want anyone to think that the fair and just commander was playing favorites, but I was sure it had at least  _ something  _ to do with the fact that I got drunk and passed out on her couch… then puked on it.

I cringed, once again scolding myself for how dumb I had acted. But at least I didn’t lose it right in front of Dani. My ‘secret’ is safe as of now. Though I was sure it wasn’t a problem to begin with.

I said that I loved her when I was blackout drunk, so what? People say stupid things when they’re drunk. Plus, I mean, I definitely did love her, but in the way that a soldier loves their commander. The commander that saved them from death, or worse. All that emotion shit was stupid anyway, and I didn’t care to dwell on it too much. All I wanted to think about was how hot it was in the barracks, and the creaking of someone’s bed across the room from me. I couldn’t tell what time it was, there weren’t any clocks or windows down here, so I had to guess based on the time I was awake, and the slight activity around me, that dawn had just passed.

My time to relax had come to an end, and my squad was needed for recon today at 6:45 sharp, so I didn’t have the time to dally, however, I took the time anyway.

I turned over in my bed again, trying to decide that my bed was suddenly comfortable so I had an excuse to stay in bed even longer. Anything to delay the day. A part of me felt bad for shirking my work to the commander, someone who I owed my life to, but the other rode along the wave of not giving a shit. The wave that grew more and more as time passed. Maybe I had been hanging out with Sarah for way too long, but I was finding that I was starting to lack in my undying loyalty as time passed. Maybe it was that, or maybe I was burning myself out.

The thought of Dani was what encouraged me out of bed. I rolled over, swinging down my feet to steady myself before standing up. All the low-standing cots made me feel like a giant, especially as I looked at the other women in them, little to none reaching my height. I shuffled my weight around, feeling a large discomfort and self consciousness at the idea of them all staring at me. Sometimes, even Dani having to crane her neck up to look me in the eyes made me feel awkward. Though, sometimes I loved it. Dani looked so cute sometimes when she would have to try and make herself look bigger when she was punishing me.

Aaaanyway, my skin itched for a shower, and so did my nostrils. I made sure to have all of my things ready before the wake up call, just avoiding the crowd before I got swept up in it. 

The shower room was completely empty, to my mercy. After a quick wash up, I cleared out of the way to get some free time before I had to report for duty. I thought about eating, but my stomach felt like retaliating against me, brewing a stale bile around that made me feel rather sick. So, breakfast was off the menu. I could try to sneak out to get some fresh air, but there was no point in fresh air anymore. I tried to go outside the least amount possible these days, it was far worse than staying inside the metal bunker, somehow.

My best idea was to get to the training room an hour early, sharpen myself up for when my squad showed up. Under Dani and Sarah's tutelage, I felt like a child again, but I was learning. As it turned out, I really did have a lot more to learn. To be a squad leader was one thing, but to be a competent fighter was another. The line was thin, but apparently, it was one that I walked every day.

Passing through the southeastern hall I wandered underneath the half-sealed hole still broken into the roof. The patching process had been underway for a while now, and the progress was unmistakable but there was a long way to go before it was ready. One of the engineers was speaking up to a solider on the other side, undoubtedly a night shift guard that was ready to switch off. I frowned just looking at the scene, the memory of what happened on there wasn't going to leave my head, not anytime soon.

I didn't notice the large puddle on the floor until my bare foot was submerged in it. instinctively, I jumped, which caused me to make a splash on the other side of the puddle. Must have rained overnight, then slipped in through the unfinished patches. I frowned to myself, an idiot with wet ankles, the construction workers looking down at me like I was an idiot. I didn't like it, but had to agree that it was deserved.

"Morning, lieutenant." One of them called from up in the scaffolding, having to shout down to me.

"Yeah, yeah." I brushed them off, moving forward without another glance up. The wet cuff of my pants tickling my ankles. My bare feet leaving watery footprints down the hall, and all the way into the first training room. 

The whole place was abandoned, and blissfully quiet as I bounced on the balls of my feet all the way down the mats, over to where the makeshift punching bags were. I wasted no time lunging at one, slamming the heel of my palm against it, before following with a swift punch. The bag rocked back and forth from the impact, it's hinges squeaking. I felt like a bit of a cock, watching the bag swing from my punches. So much so that I jumped on it again, slamming my fists into the hard material. Never staying still, I took Sarah's advice into mind, and bounced around on my feet. The bag never knew what hit it.

I struck it over and over, shuffling my feet as if Sarah was still trying to jab at them.I felt the sweat drip down my knuckles, leaving wet imprints on the material of the bag. My muscles grew tired but I continued to punch, over and over again, wearing out my energy before the morning even started. I liked to spend the day with tired muscles, it made me feel more lax for some reason. I felt I could move more freely after my tight muscles were a bit loosened.

Another punch right in the middle of the bag, and I felt the skin on my knuckle split. I flinched, recoiling. A small swell of blood came from the broken skin on my second knuckle. I hissed, bringing it to my mouth so I could suck up the blood. I then noticed a small bloodstain on the bag, no doubt mine. It matched the multiple others dotting the fabric.

After lifting my mouth from the injury, the blood started to rush out again, gushing out of the small wound. The crack in the skin went deep, allowing a plethora of blood to seep out. I started licking up the blood, hating the metallic taste swirling on my tongue, it reminded me too much of the enemy, the one that thrived on my bloodshed.

"Licking your wounds already, Lieutenant?"

Dani's voice sent a shiver through my whole skeleton, I froze up, before spinning on my heels to face the commander. Her dreadlocks, still wet, were draped over her shoulders, a few falling down her chest. She looked like she was glowing, a refreshed and attentive soldier, ready to command her army. Upon seeing her, I felt my solider's instinct to stand at attention, and give her a subordinate's salute. That would be the acceptable thing to do, if I was any other soldier. But as Grace Harper, I had some different rules.

"No real wounds to lick just yet." I replied, putting down my hand. Dani watched me for a moment, curious, before she spoke.

"Good to see you up nice and early." 

I nodded to her, rolling out my sore shoulder, "Likewise."

"I'm always up early, Grace." Dani dropped the commander tone, "it's my job to command, if you recall."

"I meant the 'good to see you' part."

Dani nodded, looking a little flush. After a moment of waiting for another response to keep up the banter, I figured she didn't have one. Figured. I was the more witty one, anyway; where Dani was more tactical, I replied on wits and brute strength. We were the literal brains and brawns duo of this base.

"What kind of scout do you have for us today?" I asked, walking across the matted floor to where Dani was standing, basking under the breeze of the fan. She crossed her arms over her chest, peering up at me. Once again, I felt achingly aware of our height difference, but this time I got a small chuckle out of it.

“Something funny, lieutenant?” Dani asked.

I shook my head, “Don’t avoid my question.”

Dani narrowed her eyes, “As long as you don’t avoid mine.”

At a standstill, neither of us backed down, standing rigid with our chests almost touching. I jerked up my eyebrow, testing Dani to see if she would strike first, she didn’t.

Deterred from her gaze, I backed down, slumping my shoulders. Dani seemed pleased with herself, nudging her chin upwards with pride. I tried to ignore how it made my chest ache.

"You really won't give any early access details to your favorite lieutenant?" I asked, pretending to be a wounded puppy.

"No, because I don't have a favorite lieutenant. No commander does." Dani said, folding her arms behind her back. My heart quivered for a moment again, before she spoke, "but I can tell a friend."

I found my whole body lifting from the excitement, and I could tell that Dani saw it too. Her smile was something that I always craved to see, and it put me at ease, no matter the situation. Even this one. Dani saw me as something more than a subordinate, she saw me as a _friend_ , which was more than I ever thought would happen. As her battle-born subordinate, I would lay my life down for her in the field. As her _friend_? I would do so much more than just that. Just there, I had the overwhelming urge to drop to my knees in front of her, become smaller than her, to show her my loyalty. I stopped myself, however, as that would be weird. 

That woman did things to me. Overpowering things. No matter how little her actions, I was always blown away by them. I didn't quite understand it most days.

"There's a downed Dragonfly unit about 65 clicks north. No crew members inside. We didn't get any distress signals fro it, but it seems to have crashed over a dangerous location." Dani explained to me, "One of our hijacked drones found it last night."

I frowned, "That's it? Just a scouting mission?"

Dani looked less than pleased with me, "Don't give me attitude, Lieutenant. Be grateful I'm even putting you in the field after I had to clean your puke off my couch a few days ago"

Well, that was warranted. I cringed, "Sorry."

The commander shook her head, "It still smells in there..." She spoke to herself, though I was sure she wanted me to hear. I stayed silent, though.

After Dani took a minute to remind herself of my mess, she snapped back to me, "Everything is important around here, Grace. Even scrubbing the toilets. I send you out on a potentially mission to instigate a mysterious crash, I expect nothing but 'yes ma'am's' and salutes, you hear?" Dani's stern words were punishing, but her tone had no razors in it.

I put my fingers to my brow, "Yes ma'am." Dani's returning chuckle sounded tired. She didn't look like she was in that great of shape, exhausted and hunched over. I resisted the urge to ask her if she was alright. I wanted to know, but she didn't always respond well to that question.

' _olvídalo_.  I'm fine, Grace.' Is the answer I'd get sometimes. And others? She wasn't so nice. So, as much as I wanted to know, I bit my tongue.

A creak behind the both of us signaled the training room door opening. Despite the friendly amount of distance between us, Dani still stepped back as the rest of my squad came in, ready to throw on equipment and whatever I or, more importantly, Dani told them to do. I stood at attention, listening to my spine crack a few times while being forced to be straight as an arrow once again.

Dani and I both waited for the soldiers to stand in their positions, standing proper and prepared to boss around the set of people in front of us. My eyes scanned along my squad, picking out the many faces. Each and every one looked a bit more refreshed than usual, but that wasn't saying a lot. Our youngest member, a 17 year-old we found scouting up north in the winter, seemed to have an eternal shiver to her, always trembling and wiping her red nose, as she was now. The rest of my soldiers looked half asleep, trying to keep themselves awake for long enough to be given instructions.

"Good morning, Squad." I said, once everyone was standing still.

"Morning, Lieutenant." They all replied, mumbling over their words like zombies.

"Good morning, Squad." Dani repeated me, standing further back.

"Good morning Commander, ma'am." They said, a bit more clear. I scoffed to myself, I could give em just as much of an earful as Dani could, yet they'd rather lick her boots more. Not that I wanted solider saliva on my polish boots, but it felt nice to be respected.

I stepped forward, ready to give a warm up speech for Dani, "We've had a few weeks of rest since out last victory as a squad." A few small cheers came from the group, none very energetic. "But that time for rest is over. The commander would like to give us our first assignment back on the field, then we can get out to it." 

Dani moved forth, taking my spot as I joined the rest of the soldiers, standing in front with my arms at my sides. There was a brief moment where Dani looked me in the eye, but then she shook it off, addressing everyone as a group.

As Dani explained to my soldiers what she had said to me, I let my mind wander. It comfortably found itself where my eyes wandered, which so happened to be the dreadlocks that were brushing Dani's neck. My fingers twitched as I imagined them brushing her neck instead, the warmth of her skin a refreshing feeling against the cold, hard skin of my fingertips. I blinked away the thought, not wanting to be a creep. Dani wasn't going to know what I was thinking, but I didn't want to find out what she would think if she did.

"Because this squad has been out of the field for a bit, I will be joining your squad at the crash site." Dani said, which tore me from my dazed thoughts.

"What?" I blurted, too stunned to realize it wasn't the right time, or place, for that questioning.

Dani turned her head to me, tilting it ever so slightly, "What's that, Lieutenant?"

I cleared my throat, not wanting to cause a scene, "Nothing. Sorry."

With a nod, Dani kept looking at me, even while she addressed the squad as a whole, "Let's gear up and get moving. I want to have everything done and be heading back by sunset."

"Yes ma'am." The squad said, saluting. I joined them, but my eyes were locked on to Dani's the whole time. I couldn't believe it. As everyone left to the armory, I stayed behind them with Dani, walking slower behind the pack.

"What do you have to say?" Dani asked, now that we weren't the center of attention.

"You didn't tell me this was going to be a babysitting job." I said, displeased.

Dani continued to look forward as we walked. I knew that she could feel my eyes on her, but she remained her composure, "It isn't. I want to be out in the field with one of my squads. Is that too much to ask?"

I resisted the urge to start yelling, the anger coiling in my chest again, "Considering the supposed amount of danger that this scout entails? Yes. You can't get hurt, Dani."

The woman shook her head, but still didn't look at me, "I may be the commander, but that doesn't mean I have to be locked away all the time. This everyone's cause, not just yours. It's my cause too, and I want to fight for it."

"You're too important." I insisted, "one wrong move and you're gone, then so is everything you've built. We can't function without you as our leader, Dani."

It was then that Dani stopped in her tracks, letting everyone else shuffle off to the armory without us. She turned to me, stopped right beside her, and allowed me to look into her eyes. 

"My skin is thicker than glass." Dani said, "I can handle it." She then started walking before I could register that she was gone. I panicked to keep up.

"But-"

"No buts," Dani said, "no more arguing, and that's an order.”

Gritting my teeth, I followed Dani at a comfortable distance, grumbling to myself all the arguments I would use, if Dani wasn’t so stubborn. She may have insisted it wasn’t a babysitting mission, but I knew that it was. Sometimes, she couldn’t even trust me to handle a knife in the kitchen. No matter how many times I insisted that I could handle my own, Dani was there to say otherwise.

But if I had that same level of protectiveness? I wouldn’t ever hear the end of it. She claimed that the only reason why she’s so protective of me was because she cared about me, why didn’t she understand that the same was true for me, also?

_ Forget about it _ , I thought to myself, entering the armory. My soldiers were already occupied, strapping on their armor and weapons. I grabbed some light and simple things, not wanting to be dragged down with heaps of useless equipment during this  _ very important  _ search and rescue mission.

We were up in the air before I had time to process it all, a functional dragonfly scooping my team up from the back entrance, and flying us off to the crash site. I stared down at my weapon, slowly inspecting it, despite knowing it was clean, while everyone else exchanged low chatter with one another. Near the pilot’s room, Dani was exchanging with the captain.

“No sign of Terminator scouts today?” She asked, leaning against the wall.

“No ma’am,” I heard the pilot reply. “The radars are dark.”

Dani didn’t seem at ease, “Well, use caution anyway. We don’t want any company.”

“Yes ma’am.” The pilot said.

My eyes caught Dani’s as she turned to leave the conversation. After a moment, I moved my eyes over to the seat beside me, an invitation. The commander looked a little hesitant, but then made her way over to me anyway, her spine stiff as a board as she sat down.

It took a few moments to find what to say, but when I was ready, I looked to Dani, “What are we gonna do when we land there?” I asked, kind of a stupid question, but any excuse to talk to Dani was worth a dumb question.

Dani seemed confused for a moment, “We’re gonna fan out, check for survivors, and any clues of what led to the crash.”

I nodded, “And if we find something we don’t like?”

Cocking the gun of her own, Dani looked to me, “Then we stand our ground.”

Our firefly landed half a click short of the crash site, a large chasm spanning a few hundred feet deep. When we reached it, I nudged a pebble into the gap with my foot. I never heard or saw it hit the ground below. My throat felt thick.

That wasn’t the main feat though. The reason we were there was another firefly ship, broken and abandoned, which had crashed onto the chasm. It’s body landed across the top, creating somewhat of a bridge from one side to the other, but it was tilted to the side, meaning anyone inside the personnel pit would have been dumped down, falling to their deaths.

Dani stood near the very edge of the chasm, looking down below, “Doesn’t look like there are any bodies down there.” She mused, before turning to our soldiers, “I need a group of 4 men to fan out, and look for any place the chasm could be entered, any shallow enough slope, or man made entrance. The group should split up into two, and explore the different sides. Anoint yourselves.”

My soldiers looked between themselves, mumbling and arguing until the groups were made, they gave their commander a salute, then took off in their respective directions. Dani stayed near the very edge of the chasm, her heels just inches away from the edge.

“Commander, the ground may not be stable. I’d advise that you step away from the ledge.” I said, keeping a stern eye on Dani.

The commander looked down behind her, then took a step forward, distancing herself from the edge of the ledge. “Thank you, Lieutenant.” I nodded my reply, but turned to my soldiers to speak.

“Holmes, Jacobsen, Levinson, Blake, and Biddell.” I addressed most of my remaining soldiers, they all perked up immediately, “Fan out, search the perimeter for any survivors that may have wandered from the site. The commander, the rest of the soldiers, and I will stay here, investigate what may have happened here.”

“Aye, Lieutenant.” My soldiers said, before briefly communicating amongst themselves, then dispersing. The remaining soldiers of mine waited for instructions as I turned to Dani, tilting my head. The commander was staring at the wrecked aircraft, her back turned to me.

I waved off my soldiers, dismissing them to wander around the site until further requested. Once they were gone, I walked up to join Dani, standing about one foot away from the chasm ledge.

Dani shook her head in silence. I looked at her, waiting for her to speak, but she kept her head forward, lips pursed.

“What is it, Dani?” I asked, my stomach squeezing.

“Something bad happened here, Grace.” Dani’s voice wavered, “my soldiers met their end here.”

I stood a little closer to her, “Hey, we don’t know they’re dead.”

“We don’t.” Dani agreed, “but nothing better could have happened.”

There was nothing to say. No way that I could reassure her, no way I could make the situation sound any better, so I didn’t. I scanned the environment, looking for any blood or other signs of damage.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that Dani had started to lean forward, her tongue poking just out of her lips in focus. I followed her gaze to an emergency ladder hanging from the pit of the dragonfly, a few rungs were missing from the bottom, the material torn. Dani looked tempted towards it, taking a small step forward, which caused some dirt to crumble and fall down the chasm.

“Whoa there,” I grabbed Dani by the back of her chestplate, pulling her away from the edge with ease. “What’re you doing?”

“That ladder.” Dani pointed to the broken rescue ladder, “it’s not that far off. Maybe I can reach it, then we can get inside the dragonfly.”

I examined the situation, not liking how the wrecked metal heap would creak with every breeze. There was no way it could hold Dani and I without falling. It couldn’t even handle one of us grabbing the rope, let alone getting inside of it.

“No way. It’s too unsound in that thing.” I said, “Plus, this ledge looks like it’s about to crumble, another step forward and we’re both tumbling to our deaths.”

Dani knew I was right, and wasn’t very pleased about it. She tapped her foot, finding a way to let out the impatience. I scowled to myself, looking out at the ladder. Dani was right, it was just a couple feet away from us, if I could get to the very ledge, and have Dani help me, I could probably reach it, but that was too far out of the question. For a brief moment, I considered asking one of my idle soldiers to help, but it wasn’t worth risking their lives on top of mine or Dani’s, so I laid the idea to rest.

“We’ll have to find some way in there.” Dani said, “it’s our best bet to find out what happened.”

Realistically, Dani could refuse my orders and try to go anyway, she  _ was  _ my superior, after all. But she knew I was right, and she wasn’t that stupid. She knew her plan was a dud, but she wouldn’t let up on it.

“Let’s just wait until some of the scouts get back. It shouldn’t take them more than an hour or two.” I replied, scuffing the dirt under my feet. Dani grunted. I didn’t love the idea, either, but it was the best shot.

Another breeze caused the old metal to creak and shift, my skin tightening at the sound. I tried to ignore it as we all waited for the next twenty minutes or so, for any sign of the scouts to return. Despite my warnings, Dani stayed relatively close to the ledge the whole time, staring at the ladder the whole time. I wanted to yank her back again, but I figured it was best to leave her in her silence for a while.

The sun crawled across the sky, inching further and further along as we kept our guard of the sight. Eventually, I forgot what we were even waiting for. After who knows how long, Dani, who had been sitting near the ledge, got herself to her feet.

“We can’t just wait around. I’m getting that ladder.” Dani said, looking over at the metallic wreck, probably trying to find the best place to stand on.

I took a step forward, but kept my distance from the ledge, “Commander, with all due respect-”

“I know.” Dani interrupted, taking a step backwards towards the ledge, “but we have no time to waste here.”

My throat tightened, and I took another step forward, “No time? There isn’t any rush here. We have hours.”

“Uh, Lieutenant…” One of my soldiers said from behind me. I reached my hand back to wave him off, not even looking at him.

“I know what I’m doing here, Lieutenant.” Dani said, “don’t act like you’re more knowledgeable in the field than I am

My chest burned, “I’m a  _ field rat _ , it’s what I do-”

“Terminator drone!” My soldier shouted, “get down!”

Panic shot through my blood in an instant. The next few moments felt like they were going in slow motion as they unfolded:

The two soldiers behind me dropped to their stomachs, trying to blend in with the dirt.

Dani took another few steps back, until her foot missed the ground.

I started running towards her as she fell backwards into the chasm.

I was jumping into the chasm, reaching out for the tattered ladder.

Then all I could hear was the wind.

As I was falling, my arms reaching for the ladder, I wanted to scream as many apologies to Dani as I could. I wanted to say I was sorry for being a brat, for being impatient, for questioning her. I wanted to tell her how much she meant to me, and I wanted to swear to her that I would never disobey her again.  Well, they always said that your life would flash before your eyes before you die, but all I could see was Dani.

Plunging downward, probably to my death, I realized something. If I was going to live through this, I would have to come to terms that my feelings for Dani were starting to become _complicated._ If I wanted to live through this, or more importantly, have Dani live through this, I'd need to act, fast.

My arm wrapped around a few of the rungs of the latter, securing myself around it. My other arm stretched out to grab Dani, pulling her in close to me. The Dragonfly husk above us creaked and a wing snapped off, causing the body of it to slide even further down the chasm, until the tip of the nose got caught somewhere along the opposite wall, keeping it rooted in place. Relief washed all along me as I realized that Dani was safe in my arms, and we were no longer plunging down with the dragonfly.

But then I saw that we were swinging towards the opposite wall.

“Shit!” I said, but the word got lost in the rushing wind. In a desperate attempt to secure Dani, I twisted our bodies, holding her close to my chest, and let my back slam into the wall at full force. I went limp in an instant.

Dani clung to me with her own strength, and my arm stayed wrapped around the ladder rungs, despite it being completely limp. Despite the impact, the only pain I felt was a mild headache from my head smacking against the wall.

“Commander!” My soldiers cried from above, their heads peeking down into the chasm. It seemed like the drone had just flown by, because if it had dropped any Terminators, my soldiers would probably have been dead.

“I’m okay!” Dani replied, still wrapped around me. She then turned to look at me, “Grace…” Dani’s voice was angelic, “you saved me.”

I wanted to turn and look at her, but I couldn’t. Then I wanted to tighten my grip around her, but my arm wasn’t responding. My mouth felt dry the second I knew what was wrong. I wanted to panic, yet I stayed perfectly still.

“D… Dani?”

“What is it, Grace?” The commander seemed impatient, still clinging to me with all her strength.

“I can’t feel anything.” I said, “I can’t move.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is Grace now starting to realize their feelings for Dani are more than they seem, and maybe even romantic? Yes, will that be the focus of the next chapter? Also yes.
> 
> (I mean, so will Grace's recovery but... I mean... romantic development comes first I guess lmao)


	12. The Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sexual tension between you and your war commander who has to help you get dressed because you're too injured to do it yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry everyone, this chapter may kinda majorly suck. It may not make a lot of sense, and the ending is a smidge rushed because I'm so incredibly swamped for the next week I wanted something for y'all. Plus I've been in an absolutely terrible mental space that it's been messing with my writing. Maybe having the next week to myself will be good to screw my head on straight, and cope with my various emotionally traumatic situations as of late.  
> Aaaaaaaaaanyway, I hope y'all enjoy the chapter regardless

The next thing I remembered, I woke in the infirmary. They had me laying on my stomach, large machinery looming over me. I tried to move my back, but found no avail. The panic started to rise in my chest, until I realized that I could feel the crippling pain along my spine.

I blinked, trying to crane my neck around to watch my environment. There wasn’t anyone else in the room with me, it seemed like. The gentle whirs of the machine scanning my body were the only noises made, other than my groans and grunts as I tried to sit myself up. I was too weak to even lift up my chest.

Trying to regain my memory, I thought back as hard as I could, to before I opened my eyes. Most of it was just darkness, cold, lonely darkness. There were a few blips of memory here and there, stretching back to the chasm.

I remembered saving Dani, just before slamming my back into the wall, effectively breaking my spine. I remember a rescue unit coming to pick Dani and I from dangling inside the chasm. Then there was darkness for a while. After that, I remember being wheeled into the infirmary, Dani’s hand wrapped around mine. I remember her crying. I wanted her to stop, but I couldn’t speak.

The last memory, and the most blurry one, was in the surgery room, hearing the operators chatter as they cut open my clothes, then my skin. 

Whatever drugs I was given must have worn off, and now the only thing around me was soulless machinery, maintaining my bodily equilibrium and speeding up the healing process along my skin and spine. The longer I took to understand where I was, and for my skin to absorb whatever it was that the machine was spraying on my bare skin, I regained my energy.

It took all the strength in my body to lift myself upwards. I was surrounded by a glass chamber, probably to keep the vaporized medicine in one contained area, for the most effect. But with a few taps with the back of my hand, the glass slid open.

I lifted myself up until I could sit upright. The fresh air was cool on my skin, and a deep breath of it froze my lungs, making my chest feel sore. A shiver wracked my naked body, and my nose tingled when the vapor medicine wafted back up to my nose.

Immediately upon touching the cold tile of the floor, my bare foot recoiled, causing my knee to jerk upwards, and my back to erode with pain. I hissed, whimpering, but didn't let that stop me. It took a few tries to get on my feet, even while resting most of my weight back on the table. My legs were trembling from the effort, and my back was pulsing.

I screwed my eyes shut, breathing deeply in, and out. I wasn't going to let this stop me, I needed to find Dani and make sure she was okay. Even if it took all my energy away. However, I couldn't find it in myself to push off of the table, so I could actually stand up properly. I hesitated, counting down in my head to try again.

Three... two... one... 

One and a half... one and three quarters...

"Grace? Grace! Sit down."

There she was, Dani Ramos had opened the opened the door to my room. She looked terrible. Her hair was a mess, stringy and frayed, out of the dreadlocks she normally wore. I didn't think I had seen her without them in years, if ever. The bags under her eyes looked carved into the skin, dragging her whole face down. My chest rippled, and my legs shook even harder. Probably from being on my feet too long.

I had taken too long to understand Dani's presence, that she had her arm on my shoulder by the time I came back to my senses. My mouth felt dry, "Dani...?"

"Take it easy, okay?" Dani said, "You haven't recovered fully yet."

My mind took a few minutes to wrap itself around what she had said, the drugs were still squeezing around my brain, trying to pull it under into nothingness again. I fought against it.

"How... uh..." My dry tongue kept getting caught on the roof of my mouth, "What happened?" I was pretty sure what happened, I just wanted to hear Dani say it all to me again.

"Sit back down, Grace. I'll tell you everything."

Backing up, I shuffled back to the table. The vapor medicine had stopped being released, probably because the glass chamber had been open for too long. My skin was a bit wet from it, still. So much so that Dani's palm slipped a little bit as she rested it against my collarbone. My breath shuddered, and I tried not to think of where her hand was, and how close it was to certain other things.

I used most of my strength, even as Dani was helping me, to sit back up on the table. Releasing my muscles, my back slouched, spine aching and pulsing still. The skin around it felt tender and weak, there was probably a few bruises. I didn't remember much, but I did remember how my back slammed against that rock-solid wall.

Dani took her hands off of me, resting them at her sides, "What do you remember?"

I tried to breathe through my mouth, but the cold air was too much on the dry skin, so I closed my lips util I was ready to speak, "I saw you fall. Then I jumped without thinking..." I was scraping it all together, "then my back hit the... uh... wall." I stopped there, thinking it over.

"Is that all?" Dani asked.

"Mmph..." I hummed, "I remember a few small pieces. Being lifted out of the chasm, then being placed in here..." I left out the part with Dani crying, she probably didn't want me to have seen her like that.

She nodded, thoughtful, "Well, you didn't miss much. They put you in the MRI machine, just to find out what we already knew, your spine had been shattered."

The panic in my body swelled at that, though I knew it was irrational. I was okay now, somehow, and that's what mattered. 

"For a while," Dani continued, "they thought that you'd have to become Augmented just to save you from being paralyzed from the neck down for the rest of your life, but I didn't want to let that happen."

For someone who approved the augmentation program, Dani was quite against it. I couldn't entirely blame her, though. In the two years it's been operational, the success rate of the surgery was only 61.5%. There were some calls to dismantle the program, saying it was unethical, and that it was far too big of a risk, but Dani and a few other soldiers kept strong. They said the program was optional, no one was forced to take the risk, and that having augments was the best thing the resistance had to an actual response to the Terminators.

Dani kept going, "Our next best thing was surgery, trying to fix your spine, while replacing some small bits with machinery if we needed to, but not replacing the whole thing."

I frowned, wiggling my sore back. I was already on my way to becoming one of those metallic, dirty hybrids.

"It was risky," Dani went on, "but we took our time. The surgery took about four days to complete, on and off. We had to keep you in this medical chamber so your vitals wouldn't deplete, and so we could get you all healed as fast as we could."

"I've been out for four days?" I asked, feeling dizzy.

Sighing, Dani shook her head, "No, Grace. You've been out for two weeks."

A dumbbell slammed into my stomach. My breaths became harder and harder to push out, "for a whole two weeks?"

"The healing took longer than expected." Dani replied.

Licking my lips was, of course, a futile attempt at wetting them. When was the last time I had a drink of water? I was desperate for one. I smacked my lips, "Can I have some water?" I asked.

"Oh, yeah." Dani looked around the room, "I can find you something. Stay put, okay?"

"Okay." I replied.

When Dani left, I kept my word, and didn't move a muscle, I was sure that I wouldn't even be able to if I tried, anyway. That healing vapor medicine helped the surgery heal fast, maybe, but it left me feeling stiff and sore. While the commander was gone, I reeled in what she had said, all in my lonesome. I was out of the field for two weeks? How much had I missed? What missions required my existence while I was away?

I slouched over, closing my eyes to try and center myself. My vision was blurry, my stomach a swampy mess. What if Dani had needed me again while I was in here? I wouldn't have even known she was in peril, and maybe even dead. Nearly sacrificing her life for mine could have actually gotten her killed, in the long run.

Dani returned with a large metal mug of water. When she was in close range, I tried to snatch the mug right from her, but as I extended my arm, a jolt of pain shot through my body, and I tensed, curling into myself.

"Patience, Grace." Dani said, lifting the mug to my lips. "Open."

Following orders, I parted my lips. The water poured into my mouth at a gentle pace as Dani tilted the mug just a little bit. I savored every single drop, audibly gulping it all down. With a small jerk of my chin, I encouraged Dani to quicken the pour of water from the mug, but she didn't, keeping the pace of the water flow for another few seconds, until she stopped it all together, moving the mug away.

There was still water in the mug, I could hear it sloshing around the mug. I whimpered and gnashed my teeth, wanting more from her.

"Not too much at once, Grace. We don't want you to get sick." Dani said, putting the mug aside.

I complied, but wasn't very happy about it. Smacking my lips again, I was much happier with my tongue, and how it didn't stick to the roof of my mouth. My throat felt more loose, too. Breathing and swallowing didn't feel like an obstacle.

Dani wiped her palms on her pants, almost like she was nervous, "Feeling any better now?"

"Much." I said, "thank you."

The cold room felt painful on my bare skin, my nipples stiffened up with the feeling of the cool air blowing down on me. The embarrassment made my face feel like it was on fire, compared to the rest of my body, because I knew that I wasn't the only one that noticed it. Looking at Dani, I could tell she was trying not to look that way, but was failing. I wanted to scream. I probably would have, if I could have.

"Can, um..." I cleared my freshly wettened throat, now coated in mucus, "can I put my clothes back on?"

I had never seen Dani so flustered. She blinked, wiping her face before speaking, "Uh, sure. I just need to make sure you're clear to leave."

The goosebumps on my body felt painful as I watched Dani turn to leave. I put my arms up over my torso, crossing them over my chest to save the embarrassment. Never in a million years would I expect Dani to look at me like she just did, her eyes wandering over those parts of my body, and the look in her eyes...

A ball of moisture ran down my neck and on to my arms, protecting my chest. I kicked my feet a few times, letting my body sway slightly from the momentum, and the moisture continued to roll down my body, on to my ribs, then my belly button, then...

Dani walked back into the room, announced by the hiss of the sliding glass door. I jerked up my gaze to her, which caused a searing pain down my back. I hissed from the pain, but tried to keep myself under control. I was yearning to have my clothes back on.

"I had to bargain with them," Dani said, "but they'll let you go if I keep enough of an eye on you."

Trying to make light of the awkward situation, I chimed in, "Looks like I'm moving back in with you."

She seemed to appreciate the joke, and added in herself, "Yep. We tried being apart, but it just didn't work out."

I chuckled gently, and so did Dani. We both paused in the silence for a moment, but then I flicked my eyes down, and back up again, signalling that I needed clothes.

"Right." Dani said, walking to the corner of the room, "stay there."

Once again, I did as I was told, and sat still. I braved a little bit of the pain in my neck to give the room a good look. The brick walls were grimy, covered in moss and cracks. Right on front of me, there was a wall of one-way mirrors. I knew that as I was staring at my reflection, I was also staring at someone else, without knowing it. Instinctively, I curled a little bit into myself, wanting to hide my intimate parts to anyone that may be seeing me.

"The clothes you were wearing were wrecked in the accident." Dani said, walking over with fresh, folded clothes in her hands, "and also torn when they had to perform surgery. These should fit you."

I took the clothes. They felt soft, and they looked perfectly clean. I reeled at them for a moment, rubbing my thumb on the fabric. I hadn't worn properly clean clothes in... well, I didn't know how long. It felt like a gift to wear them again.

"What's the matter?" Dani asked, placing the pile of clothes on the table beside me.

Chewing on my lip, I tried to assess how easily I would be able to put the clothes on myself. The odds weren't looking good.

"Can you help?" I asked.

Dani looked like someone fired a gun right next to her head. A wide eyed look of shock, but she was fast to compose herself, "Of course, Grace."

She dug through the pile of clothes, grabbing a pair of men's boxers, "Men's were the only size that would fit." She said.

I didn't doubt it. Instead, I put a leg up and tried to get it through the hole. Despite sitting down, I was starting to lose my balance. I braced myself on the table with both hands, eventually getting both legs into the underwear. Dani started to slowly pull the boxers up my legs, the skin of her knuckles occasionally brushing my legs. My throat squeezed as her hands went higher and higher up my legs.

"Okay." I said, "I can pull them up the rest of the way."

"Right." Dani said, "sorry."

After getting myself to my feet, I reached my arms down, grabbing the boxers by the hem, and pulling them up to my hips. Already, I felt a little bit better about having at least one thing on me, but I was eager to get the rest on. It looked like Dani skipped grabbing a bra, so she reached for a plain, white t-shirt. The thing was whiter than my teeth.

Dani unfolded it, then looked to me, "Can you lift your arms above your head?"

Looking at the two long, skinny limbs, I bit my lip for a moment, "I think so? It'll hurt, but I can do it."

The commander didn't seem very pleased with that answer, "I'll be quick, then. You ready?"

One deep breath in, then I raised both arms in the air. The effort of it all burned so bad, that holding back a cry of pain made my eyes water. Instead, I chomped down on my lip, tensing the muscles in my gut to ground myself.

Dani noticed my struggle, "I know, I know. I'll be quick."

She stepped closer to me, her right foot wedging between both of my feet, then lifted the shirt up so she could lower the sleeve holes down over my raised arms. 

At that moment, I was painfully aware that my boobs were directly in Dani's face. I tried not to think about it.

Slowly, Dani pulled the shirt down my arms, and let me poke my head through the collar. As soon as my head was poked through, Dani stopped, her hands were resting against my neck.

"You can lower those arms now, I think it'll be okay." Dani said, but I was too distracted by how she was practically cradling my neck in her hands. My nerves felt like they were on fire, and not all of it was the pain.

"Grace?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"Arms." Dani repeated, "you can put them down."

"Right." I said, very slowly lowering my arms, though I gave Dani some room near the sides of my torso to push the shirt down further, which she did. Her hands continued to graze against my skin as she lowered the shirt. First over my chest, then my ribs, stomach, then her hands stopped at my waist.

I looked at Dani, who kept her hands on my waist for another few beats before pulling them away, wiping her palms on her jeans yet again before grabbing the pair so sickly green sweatpants folded beside me. They looked pretty comfortable, too. Better than a uniform. I was already preferring the shirt over any other thing I've had to wear here.

Dani placed the pants on the floor, letting me step into each leg before she started to pull the pants upwards. I felt like crying as her face moved upwards along with the pants. Dani moved a bit faster when her face got closer to my crotch, then handed over the waistband of the sweatpants to me, letting me pull them up over my hips, just as I had done with the boxers.

"Thank you." I said, though it was so silent, I was pretty sure Dani didn't hear it. She stood up properly.

"Do you need shoes?"

My bare feet were starting to get comfortable on the cold tile floor, but I didn't want to walk all the way to the bunks with bare feet, "Yes, please."

Placing the shoes next to my feet, Dani let me step into the shoes myself, the one task I could do with relatively little pain.

"I'm sure you're hungry." Dani said, scratching her thigh.

I didn't notice it until Dani said anything, but my stomach was turning itself over and over, begging me for some food. I nodded gently, placing my hand over the hollow feeling part of my torso.

Dani smiled, "I've got just the thing."

Eager, I took a few steps forward without thinking. The pain felt unbelievable, and my eyes watered so hard, a few tears fell out. I must have cried out, too, because Dani whirled around to look at me.

"What is it?" She asked, alarmed.

"Walking..." I said, "might be more of an obstacle than I thought."

Worry crossed Dani's face, she chewed on her lip for a moment, before walking back to the corner of the room. I turned, carefully, to watch her dig through the same large cabinet that she fished my clothes out from. Dani mumbled, grumbled, then hummed as she searched through, pulling out a staff that was as tall as my belly button.

"Use this." Dani said, bringing it over to me.

There was nothing I'd rather do less, "Hmph. I'd rather not hobble around like Sarah, thank you very much. I may have just recovered from surgery, but I'm not in as bad of a condition as that old bag."

"Mind your manners." A voice came on through the PA system. The gravelly sound of the voice let me know exactly who was talking. I stared at the one-way glass, positive that Sarah was staring back at me on the other side.

"Great..." I mumbled to myself, grabbing the stick from Dani's hand. The idea of Sarah Connor having most likely just seen me naked was one that I didn't particularly love. The humility of it made me grit my teeth. It was bad enough having my commander's face a few inches from my tits, now that old dinosaur saw them, too.

Dani stepped in close beside me, "Give me your other arm."

Holding the staff in one hand, and having my other arm looped around Dani, we hobbled towards the door. My whole body still ached, burning with each movement, but I could move, and that was the important part. My toes still felt a little numb, but I could wiggle them from within my shoe, so I tried to pass off the feeling as something else.

Dani used her spare hand to slide the glass door open, walking us both out of the recovery room. Sure enough, when we stepped out, I was right. Sarah was standing at the one-way mirror, her attention turned to us.

"Nice to see you in one piece, Harper." Sarah said, and I could smell the cigarette smoke on her skin from all the way over here. I didn't know how she kept finding them, must be trading from a freeloader outside of the base. Trading with what, was the question.

"Yeah, yeah." I said, "you too, Sarah."

Dani pulled me in closer with the arm that was wrapped around mine, "We are going to get Lieutenant Harper some food." Dani said, "they're undoubtedly starving."

"Perfect," Sarah's voice was more chirpy than I was used to, "because I am too."

"It's a deal, then." Dani said, carefully nudging me to make sure I was ready to get going. I gave a gentle nod back. Sarah tapped her cane on the ground, then waited for Dani and I to make our way over, before falling into step beside Dani.

We were silent for a few moments, before I looked over at Sarah, "How much did you... see in there?" I knew I was going to regret the question as soon as I asked, but I was curious.

Sarah chuckled to herself, "Enough to know that it was pretty cold in there."

I felt a groan fizzle in my throat, a dead weight dropping in my stomach. Stabbing out my eyeballs felt like a pretty fun activity in that moment. But it wasn't over. Sarah then let her eyes fall to my chest, then back up to my face.

"And that it's still cold right now."

Fuck the eyeballs, carving my whole face off to save myself the blushing would be even better.

Like the guardian angel she was, Dani intervened, "Alright now. That's enough Sarah."

The old woman laughed to herself, "Alright, I'll play nice."

She seemed in a better mood than normal, which was enough to arose suspicion. Normally I wouldn't hear her laugh unless it was a vindictive, cruel noise, but now she seems as cheery as ever. Maybe I got through to her the other day.

Or, the other week, I guess.

Clinging to Dani as I hobbled along was a nice excuse to be close to her, but I couldn't help the feeling of embarrassment at not being able to stand up on my own. I had an appropriate excuse, having broken my spine protecting the commander, but I was generally displeased with the lack of competence on my end.

I stumbled forward, almost tripping on my own feet. Dani was there to catch me, and even Sarah stopped patiently to wait. I growled to myself, my chest starting to squeeze with heat. They must have been judging me in their minds, I knew that look, the one that both of them were giving me.

"Are you okay?" Dani asked, resting a hand on my shoulder. 

Shrugging her hand off gave me more pain than I expected, but I huffed through it, "I'm fine."

Dani still had that look in her eyes, but nodded anyway, "I'm here to help, we both are."

I gulped hard, I had to remember that. No one would think of me as pathetic for not being able to walk after getting myself paralyzed for saving Dani's life. It was just my anger talking, and I needed to get it under control. I looked up at see Sarah looking right at me. She pursed her lips, and gave me a nod of understanding, one that scared away the coil in my chest.

When we started moving again, I still felt like an idiot, but I let myself lean a little bit more on Dani, (not too much, though, I have more height and muscle than she did) trusting her to help keep me up.

It took us a lot longer to get to Dani's quarters than it would have if I could walk properly, and my legs were wobbling from the pressure on them, but I told myself it would all be worth it once I got to rest with Dani, and having some warm food. I may have been unconscious for those two weeks, but I still missed her so much.

Sarah got the door for us both, letting Dani practically carry me inside the bunk. As soon as I saw the couch, I made a beeline for it, dropping the staff I had, and plopping face first into it. Dani chuckled behind me, and Sarah made no noise, probably going to get some booze.

"Careful, Grace." Dani said, though her tone was still playful, "your stitches are fragile, and I'd rather you don't rip them."

I sighed, nodding. Making sure to test the waters, I turned over to my side, looking at Dani, "How long will it take to heal me back up?"

Dani's jaw shuffled around as she worked the question over in her mind, "As the medicine soaks into your skin, it'll help the healing process speed up. If we're impatient, we can give you more doses. But for now, it will probably take a month for you to be back in fighting shape."

My mouth fell slack, "A month? I can't wait that long."

"You should, Grace." Dani said, "you literally broke your body out in the field, and you have been doing the same for the last month and a half; you need the rest."

"Dani-"

"No 'but's, Grace." She interrupted, "You pushed yourself to the brink saving my life, I owe you everything I am, so please, do this for me."

I wanted to say something back, but I couldn't. Dani had me where she wanted me. Just as I had predicted, Sarah came out of the kitchen with three cups. One was me, the other for Dani, and the last for herself. I sniffed the inside of the cup, recoiling the second the scent went into my nose.

"Ugh... Moonshine?"

Sarah took a sip before answering me, "You bet your ass. Best painkiller around, drink up."

Dani set her cup down then stood, "Not on an empty stomach. Can't have you puking on my couch again."

Ashamed, I looked away from Dani, picking at the threads of the couch. It was washed, sure, but I was laying right on the spot I had puked on that day.

"What's for dinner, then?" Sarah asked, almost uninterested.

Dani made her way to the kitchen, tying her hair up in a loose ponytail, "Rice."

Sarah made a noise of disdain, while I Felt triumphant. Dani always cooked the rice meals in a way that made them taste like they were gourmet meals. Dani was the best cook around, even better than my father was, before everything went down. I didn’t remember much, but I did remember that he could make a mean plate of spaghetti.

I took another baby sip of the moonshine as Dani grabbed a few rice packets from the kitchen, while Sarah made hefty work of her own drink. As I laid there, I remembered how grateful I was for the two of them, and how I’d risk myself like that over and over again just to be in that bunk.

“Cheers.” I said, lifting my cup as much as I could muster.

An eyebrow raised, Sarah seemed skeptical, “About what? Your broken spine?”

Should have seen that coming, but instead of making me pissed, Sarah’s comment made me chuckle. Not even her cynicism could take me down, “To us.”

Sarah gave a shrug, she was already on her way to getting drunk, so she didn’t really need an excuse. Lifting her cup as well, she humored me, “To us, I guess.”


	13. The Competition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah and Grace get competitive while getting in some 'therapeutic' stretching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG I'M BACK??? I'll apologize right away for how kinda rushed and short this chapter is, but I'm really excited to get back into the game, so I had to get something out. I'll kick back harder next chapter. I apologize how long it's been since my last chapter, but it's been a long mental battle for me in the meantime. I still don't have myself completely figured out, but I wanted to get back to doing what I love. Thank you all for your patience (including with this chapter) and especially your kind words on my PSA. There are many days when I feel like I should give up on this. I don't feel confident, I think I don't like it, but y'all remind me of how much I love writing this. Until next time!

"Grace, part of the rehabilitation process is patience. You can't rush yourself with this." Dani said, her voice was a soothing reassurance in my ears.

But not soothing enough. An angered burst of rage caused me to act impulsive, throwing my walking stick to the matted floor before feeling the consequences, instinctively curling my torso into itself to protect me from further harm. Sighing, Dani did nothing but watch me as I remorsefully picked the stick up again, patting the mats below me a few times.

"I'm sick of waiting." I said, "I should be out there fighting for the future." 

"You've done your fair share of that, Grace." Dani said, while starting to walk me through the stretching process again, "it almost got you killed. You have to rest up before you put yourself in danger again."

I huffed, following along with Dani's poses. All of the lame, passive steps to try and get me back to peak performance were just that, lame and passive, but I got to spend more and more time with Dani during it, so I couldn't complain too much.

Sarah, who had been relatively quiet most of the time, decided to pitch in her two-cents worth, unprompted, "You're no use out there injured, Harper. One step into the battlefield and you'll be torn to bits, a big waste of a sacrificed soldier, if you ask me."

"I didn't."

"She's right, Grace." Dani said, moving her lithe body into another stretched position. I tried not to think of adjectives to describe her body even further, "if you're so intent on dying out there, at least make it for a good reason."

Trying to copy Dani's pose, which was quite reminiscent of the 'tree' pose in yoga, I wobbled. My balance nearly failed on me, but I slammed down my cane to keep from teetering downward. My body burned and ached in response, and I almost started to cry because of it.

"Maybe not that one..." Dani said, bringing herself to a neutral position once again, then reached down to touch her toes, a pose we had done a few times already. I followed her with more stiff and uncoordinated movements.

As I reached my fingers down to my toes, the frustration was causing me to heat up, "What are we even doing this for, again?"

"You need to be limber, Grace." Dani replied, "if we don't get you back to full flexibility soon enough, you'll be too stiff."

I grunted, shifting my hips to the side, just as Dani did, "Well, I think that if I don't train soon enough, I'll forget how to fight."

"Let it go, soldier." Dani said, her voice stern. I did as she told, never wanting to make her displeased.

From her chair, Sarah felt like pitching in even more, "Widen your stance, that pelvis needs a chance to stretch."

On instinct, I snorted defensively, "I'm trying."

"That's trying? Yikes."

"Why you-" I started, ready to use my walking stick as a baseball bat.

" _ Comportarse _ , both of you." Dani interrupted, without stopping her movements. She was moving her hips in a circular motion. I tried doing the same, hissing through the pain it was causing. Dani whipped her head to me, slowing her movements to try and help me. It didn't work very well.

"I just.." I said, flinching through a shot of pain, "I don't see Granny over there doing this. I bet those old bones couldn't even compare to my smashed ones."

"That's a pathetic hill to die on." Sarah said, getting to her feet, slowly but surely, “but at least you’ll be dead.”

Huffing, I kept my glance between Sarah and Dani, making sure I didn't miss a single beat from either, "It's a bigger hill than you can climb."

Sarah flashed her yellowed teeth at me," Don't be so sure." She gained her composure with a deep inhale, then went about copying Dani's new pose, which had us reaching both arms around our backs in an attempt to lace our fingers, one foot elevated.

The searing pain caused me to shake, but I could push through the pain to make the tips of my fingers touch. Gritting my teeth, I made sure to keep up my resolve just to stick it to Sarah, who looked like she was struggling a bit more than I was. We both knew what this was. First to back down lost, because apparently I’m still five, and take a challenge when I get it.

My back felt like it was made of stone, painful stone. It was stiff and hard to move, then it burned like lava was running down my spine. I struggled to keep my hands locked behind my head, wanting to give my poor spine a break, but the heat in my chest kept my arms where they were.

“I should make sure you two are mad at each other more often,” Dani said, “it keeps you both more productive.” 

Both Sarah and I didn’t pay Dani any mind, just staring at one another. Sarah was trembling like a leaf, I could feel the bragging rights already.

“Hey Sarah,” I said, sacrificing some stability for the focus to speak. 

Looking annoyed, Sarah closed her eyes, trying to avoid me. She should have known she couldn’t do that.

“Sarah. Sarah, hey.” 

“What do you want, cretin?” Sarah’s growl rolled out, along with her chain-smoker’s rasp.

“Your fly is down.” I said.

“I hate you so fucking-” Sarah’s body gave in to a deep wobble, Dani laughed from where she stood, but Sarah stayed on her feet. “Much.”

I was hoping the distraction was enough to knock her off her feet, but the bag hung in there. My legs were sore, my back was exploding, and my stomach was empty. Sarah’s stubbornness was once again getting on every nerve of my body. Part of me couldn’t wait to see her bite the dust, but the other knew that was a fucked up thing to think.

“All right, girls.” Dani said, before stopping herself, she looked to me. “I, uh, mean-”

“It’s fine,” I replied, stretching out my spine further, feeling the burn ripple through the muscles. 

After a moment, Dani continued, “I’m hungry, and I think we’ve done enough flamingo practice for today.”

I groaned, wobbling.

“I’m too old for this.” Sarah said, then rested her leg down, unlatching her arms.

“Ha!” I almost fell over setting my raised foot down. My whole body was so sore that I felt like the Tin Man, rusted and squeaky.

Sarah grabbed her cane from where she left it, leaning on it like a broken tree. Something I haven’t seen in a really long time. Sarah always reminded me of trees, then I miss em, then I want to punch her for it.

“Bite me,” Sarah said, grabbing a glass of hooch from the makeshift table.

Snapping her fingers, Dani gained our attention, “Game’s over. Calm down you two.” Once the bickering stopped, Dani handed me some water, “Tomorrow, we’re using the therapy equipment in the infirmary. The stretching was a start, okay? Don’t think this is the easiest part of getting back on your feet.”

I took the water she offered me, then chugged it all in a matter of seconds.

Dani looked over at the old bag, sipping her hooch, “Sarah,  _ Gracias por tu ayuda. _ ” The woman huffed in response.

“ _ De nada _ .” Sarah mumbled barely looking back at Dani. That was her way of being appreciative.

“Can we eat now?” I asked, “my stomach is going to rip itself apart.”

Sarah set her cup down, flinching as her left shoulder extended down. I caught notice of the specific movement because of how her shoulder moved. It wasn’t exactly right. It looked as though her shoulder clicked, rolling forward. I glared at it.

“I like that idea.” Dani said, “let’s get there while the rachines are still hot, yeah?”

Sarah nodded, “If I don’t get some food to mix with the alcohol soon, my old body won’t be able to cope with the vomiting.”

“‘Food’ is kind.” Dani replied, tying her hair back, “But it is what it is.”

Following Dani and Sarah as we walked out, I kept my eyes on Sarah’s shoulder, watching as it didn’t follow the normal patterns of her other one. There was no way it could be dislocated, as it was too stiff, and Sarah didn’t seem like she was in near enough pain.

“Grace?” Dani called.

“Hm?” I shot my eyes away from Sarah’s shoulder, looking at Dani’s earnest eyes.

“Did you hear me?” The commander slowed down her walk, keeping in step beside me while Sarah took the lead to the cafeteria.

I shook my head, “Sorry.”

“I said you did good in there.” Dani explained, “and I want to enlist some other help for your recovery. I want to be there for you, but I can’t. You know, with all-”

“It’s okay.” I assured her, “I know you’re busy as the big boss around here. Just make sure it’s anyone but Sarah. If I had be alone with her all day…”

“I’ve already seen that play out.” Dani finished, “and don’t worry. I’ll make sure you get on your feet in no time.”

“Thanks.” I said, heart aching for some reason.

Dani smiled, taking my wrist and pulling me up to Sarah. It made my spine burn, but I didn’t say anything. I’d ask Sarah about her shoulder later. For the moment, I just wanted to eat as much as I could.


	14. The Curious Case of Imogen Holmes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Grace bonds with an augment tasked to help them recover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, so NaNoWriMo started yesterday of course, which means I'll be writing all day every day, I'm hoping to get a minimum of 10k to a maximum of 25k this whole month. So chapters galore!  
>  Anyway, for this chapter I'm doing something I haven't really done in fanfiction, which is develop an original character to be a main part of the plot. I want this character and maybe a few others to come in as key parts of the story, and I've never done that before, so I'll see how I like doing it. Enjoy the chapter!
> 
> (PS, sorry for the lack of Dani this chapter lol, she will be in the next one, promise.)

I was in the recovery wing of the infirmary before sunrise. They made me lay on my stomach, then poked and prodded all over my back, asking me which parts hurt the most, then rubbed a very cold gel on those spots.

It sucked, but it made me feel better that Dani was standing nearby. I only did it for her, is what I told myself. In the end, nothing else really mattered. By the time the sun cracked the sky, Dani was off on some meeting with the other Lieutenants.

“You can’t come,” she had said, “because you need to recover, not sit in a chair all day.”

“I’ll be fine just sitting down for one day.” I replied.

“Not on my watch. You aren’t coming, and that’s final.”

So, as she went off to discuss important matters with all the other leaders around here, I was stuck waiting in the rehab room for some other instructor to come by.

Out of- what I wrote off was boredom -I tried to copy one of Dani’s poses from yesterday. I cringed while trying to raise my hands over my head, lifting my leg in what Dani called the Tree Pose. I found myself a lot more stiff than I was then, aching and groaning before I even solidified the pose. I didn’t know how Dani did it. Her body was a lot more limber than mine. Uh, not like I was always looking at her body, though.

I stumbled out of the pose, my spine rippling pain. I hissed, curling myself up a little and hissing in pain. I pushed air through my teeth, forcing down the hot coil wrapping around my chest. I didn’t regret saving Dani’s life. I would do it over and over again, as many times as it took, but I resented the pain it caused me.

What is really resented, was the augments. Those inhuman hybrids that can endure the hardest of hits, and heal within days, I couldn’t imagine being one, but I wanted what they had. For the longest time, I told myself I would rather die than be one; the hypocrisy on me now.

From behind me, I heard a hiss, the sound of the glass door sliding open. Still curled into myself, I turned to face the doorway, hoping for Dani.

To my disappointment, it wasn’t Dani. But it also wasn’t one of the many stuck up medics I’d come to know. Mass of dreadlocks tied together, the dark skinned woman walked in with grace, the web of surgical scars were one of the most noticeable things about her, matched with the bolts on her chest and jaw, showing the center points of the machinery in her body.

“Grace. Good morning.” She said, walking down the steps to the middle of the room, where I was standing like a bent spoon.

“Dani send you?’ I asked, feeling bad as I couldn’t quite remember her name. I knew that I had fought alongside her before, but the name was escaping me.

“Sure did.” She said, “Lieutenant Holmes, at your service.”

Holmes. Right, Holmes. She was there when we got attacked at the hole on the roof. When I was foolish enough to lose my Corporal… I remembered her injuring right after, watching as the machine impaled her shoulder.

I couldn’t help the question, “How, um, how are you?” I realized how dumb I sounded as soon as the question came out, but she didn’t seem to notice.

“Much better, actually.” Holmes replied, looking refreshed from the question.

I furrowed my eyebrows. Last time I saw, she was impaled through the shoulder, bleeding everywhere. That couldn’t have been more than two months ago. I didn’t know what her requirements for ‘much better’ were, but I doubted they were the same as mine.

Reading my expression, Holmes smiled, then grabbed the collar of her white t-shirt, pulling it down to show a majority healed wound. There was still a mark, a future scar etched just under her clavicle, but otherwise, she seemed as good as new.

“Whoa.” I said, trying not to stare at her collarbone too much.

Holmes smiled even more, letting her shirt go, “Right? This augment shit has its perks.”

I shook my head in awe, while a challenged envy coiled in my stomach, “I knew augments regenerated fast, but I’ve never… seen it actually happen.” Part of me just assumed that’s what everyone said, and though I  _ knew  _ what they were saying, it wasn’t real until I could see it for myself.

“You won’t heal as fast.” Holmes reminded me, “but it’ll be faster than normal with the medicine we have around here.”

Without what we had here, I wouldn’t be walking. I remembered back to fifth grade- which felt like a lifetime ago -Dereck Supers got into a car accident over Christmas break. His mom died, but he lived with a broken spine. It was all over the news. When school started back up in the new year, he was in a wheelchair. He couldn't move anything, only his face and eyes. Once a talkative, and relatively mean guy, he almost never spoke after that. The only words were in his hollow eyes.

Two years later, I fell out of a tree. My sister dared me to climb up the branches, and it was going pretty well, until one of them snapped under my weight. I broke my left arm when I fell to the ground. I was wrapped up in a cast for two months. Even after it was off, I had a hard time moving my arm right for a few months afterwards.

“Grace? You with me?” Holmes asked, her head tilted to the side.

I blinked, sucked away from my memories of better times, “Yeah. Just stuck in old times.”

Holmes chuckled, “I get it. I let myself wander, too. Not always in the best of times.”

I nodded, grateful that she was at least attempting to make a connection. She reminded me of Dani in a lot of ways. The way her eyes showed actual emotion as she spoke to me, I could tell she cared. Not a lot of people care around here, sometimes it’s hard to see the point. Why care about everyone’s emotions, when you’ve got your hands full trying not to die? Holmes seemed to be good at both of those.

The augment cleared her throat, tightening her shoulders, “I promised the Commander I’d get you back into shape, so let’s get moving, huh?”

Just at the mention of Dani, I let my mind wander to her for a moment, wondering what she was doing at that moment, but I was quick to shake it off, and give Holmes a confirming nod.

“Well,” Holmes started moving from the center of the room, “when I was going through rehab myself, I started on the treadmills.”

I tilted my head, “When did you have to do rehabilitation?”

With a snort, Holmes gave me a smirk, “You know, it’s not that easy to get on your feet after you’re cut open, and most of your organs and bones are replaced with machinery.”

“Right. Yeah, obviously.” I felt my face burn in embarrassment.

Holmes shrugged it off, walking to the old treadmill and started to tinker with it, “Most of these things are salvaged from before the war. They’re old, banged up, and don’t always work.” After pressing a few buttons while I stood uselessly by, the belt started to move, albeit slowly, as the machine groaned to life.

Looking pleased, Holmes turned to me, “How well can you walk?”

I gave my walking stick a few knocks on the ground, “Not that well without this thing.”

Holmes stepped back from the treadmill, granting me better access to it, “You can use it to start.”

There was a moment where I didn’t move. I wanted to be with Dani, sitting down in a chair, despite what she said. Holmes’ gentle smile was enough to push me forward for the moment, limping onto the belt of the slow moving belt. The material was rough on the soles of my feet, compared to the cool and smooth concrete, but I welcomed the difference. 

It felt… weird, walking in place. At first. I forgot how to walk in total, not remembering which food goes in front of the other, and how the cane fits in the mix.

Holmes smiled at me, “Ever used a treadmill before?”

I shook my head.

“Well.” Holmes tucked her head for a moment, “just walk like you normally do. Start with your left food, then your right foot. Repeat it over and over until you don’t need to think about it anymore. Let the muscle memory take over.”

“Muscle memory.” I repeated, nodding. The less I over thought it, the better. I closed my eyes, pretending that I was elsewhere. Walking down the hallway from the cafeteria to Dani’s room. Walking in, seeing her smile…

I pushed through the pain, the stiff joints, the urge to give up and never walk again. Gritting my teeth helped redirect the pain, I focused on the clenching of my teeth, the way they forced each other down.

“Take breaks if you need to, Lieutenant.” Holmes said, and I could feel her hand fall on one of the handle bars. For the smallest of seconds, I forgot she was there. I blinked my eyes open, unlocking my jaw. I was already getting a headache from the vice grip of my jaw.

I grabbed the side bars of the treadmill, moving both legs to the left side, staying away from the moving belt. I had only been walking for a minute but I was already out of breath, imagine the walk from Dani’s place to the infirmary. It felt like it took an hour.

“Rushing this won’t actually make it go by faster.” Holmes said.

“I know.” I shot back, “just got lost in thought.”

Holmes nodded, giving me a thoughtful look that I decided to ignore. The sincerity of her eyes was endearing, but personal. I appreciated her investment in my emotional and physical wellbeing, but the only person I wanted to really  _ know  _ was Dani.

“What were you thinking about?” Holmes asked, scratching the handlebars thoughtfully.

“Someone.” I replied coolly, before I realized how much of a dick I was being. She was there because she chose to be. Well, it was the big boss who asked her to be here, but she still didn’t put up a fight. Thus far, she wasn’t an ass to me, so it was unfair to be an ass to her. “Somebody important to me.”

Holmes looked at me for a moment, “Someone you love?”

“Well, I wouldn’t-” I started.

“It’s a weird time to think about love, I know.” Holmes kept going. “But sometimes all I want to do is spend time with  _ that person _ for as long as I can.” She then looked at me, “and I think I know who your person is, too.”

Now I was just confused, “You do?”

Holmes nodded, a cheeky grin on her face. She was holding back laughter.

I stood there for a moment, confused, “Are you going to tell me? Because I don’t even know who we-”

Holmes let the laughter burst from her lips, “You don’t fool me, Harper. I see the way you drool over the Commander.”

A rock sank in my stomach, “ _ what _ ?”

“I’ve seen the way you look at her.” Holmes said, not backing down with the accusations.

For a moment, I couldn’t say anything cohesive. I kept stammering, wanting to say something, but deciding against it, then picking against it, wanting to say something else instead; which I also chose not to.

“Don’t act like you’re caught with your pants down.” Holmes said, “I’ve been watching you lately, you follow her around like a baby duckling.”

I paused, “You’ve been… watching me?”

Now it was Holmes’ time to get caught up, “No.” She paused, “Well, yes. Not like you think though. I wasn’t stalking you, hiding in the shadows and creepily watching, I’ve just so happened to notice you every time you’re in the room.”

“Oh.” I genuinely didn’t know what to say to that. 

“You’re…” Holmes started, “you’re nice to look at.”

I turned away, unable to look at her without my face burning.

“But hey, don’t distract me from the real important subject here.” Holmes said, “I know you’ve got the hots for the commander.”

“No I  _ don’t. _ ” I shot back, feeling my heart rate rise. Holmes didn’t seem convinced of my answer.

“Deny it all you want, but I know what I see.” She said.

Feeling backed into a corner, I tried to defend myself, “I like boys, uh,  _ men _ .” I said, planning my foot, “I… think.”

“Right.” Holmes nodded with a smirk, “keep telling yourself that. You might believe it eventually.”

I huffed, carefully moving my feet back to the moving belt of the treadmill. It took a moment for me to remember how to walk, but I got back into the rhythm of it faster than I expected.

“You’re wrong.” I said.

“If you say so.”

Glaring at her, I stood my ground, “I do. Now let’s stop talking about this.”

Holmes pursed her lips, thoughtful, “Right. You probably need silence to concentrate, anyway.”

“No.” I said, “talking with someone helps me take my mind off the pain.”

“Then what  _ do  _ you want to talk about?”

I thought on the question for a second, “I don’t know. Just anything but this, really.”

Holmes turned her face, her foot starting to tap. It was a slow beat, one I tried to fall in line to on the treadmill. One… Two… One… Two… 

The augment then started sniffing the air, a few hard huffs in and out of her nose, nostrils flared. She craned her neck to face me, still huffing. I had to imagine that her smell was heightened, unless she was sniffing out my body odor. That was something they could probably smell all the way in the cafeteria.

“They spray you down with the healing serum this morning?” Holmes asked, though from the way her nostrils curled, she already knew the answer.

I wasn’t ready for the embarrassment of that question, it made the back of my neck feel itchy, “Yeah… It kinda stinks, huh?”

“No more than full on blood, that’s for sure.” Holmes said, wiping her nose with the back of her hand.

“Huh?”

Holmes matched my look of confusion with one of her own, “What do you mean, ‘huh’?”

“Why would it smell like blood?” I was then struck with a sense of horror, “It’s not actually blood, is it?”

A burst of laughter came from the augment, “No, no. Well, kind of.” She watched my expression for a moment, “you really didn’t learn about any of this stuff?”

I shook my head. I didn’t really care to learn about medicine and stuff liked that. I respected the medics around here, but I could never be one. I was built for battle, and only battle.

“It’s one of the components used in augment blood.” Holmes paused, but then continued when I didn’t show a change of face. “You know, the fluid that keeps out machinery running, as well as the rest of our human blood? It’s meant to speed up the healing process.”

“So…” I started to piece it together, “it let’s me heal like you?”

Holmes shook her head, “Not quite. It doesn’t work as well when just sprayed on the skin; the more concentrated it is, the better it works.”

“Why not inject it then?”

“Incompatibility with your blood and organs. It’s meant to sustain the metal part of augments. Though, even then, you’d be lucky if your body handles it well. That’s surprisingly one of the biggest casualties of the augmentation process.”

That sounded… brutal, “So, what does it do?”

“My, my,” Holmes started, “you are just full of questions today, huh?”

I huffed, “Gimme a break, I’m just curious about what the hell they put on my body.”

“Didn’t even think to ask?” She was getting too smug for my tastes.

“My spine was broken,” I shot back, “didn’t really have the time.”

Holmes blinked a few times, “That’s fair. It’s like steroids for your white blood cells.” She paused for a moment, “you know what those are, right?”

“I am educated, yes.” I knew she was just checking to see if I had done that much school before the war made learning unnecessary, but I still reserved the right to be snide about it.

The augment chuckled, “Just checking. It speeds up the production of those blood cells, and makes them work twice as hard to scab and heal your body.”

“Hm. That’s kinda cool, actually.” I said.

“I know, right?”

As the conversation faded, I realized that I was still walking. I had completely forgotten about the pain, the stiffness, the ache. Now that I was aware, I felt it hit me all at once. With an audible ‘oof’ I stumbled, then panicked to stand on the side of the treadmill, panting heavily as I tried to maintain my posture.

“Oh!” Holmes called out, pulling on a red wire to make the belt stop moving instantly. I gave her what I thought was a thumbs up, but it just turned into me waving my hand at her.

“Burnt out yet?” Holmes asked. I nodded in reply, catching my breath for a moment.

“I think…” I panted, “I need a shower.”

Holmes laughed, “Yeah, you smell like it.”

My nose scrunched up; she smiled in response.

“Thanks.” I said, my breath gasping, “for helping me out today.”

“Yeah, well we barely scratched the surface, Harper.” She replied, grabbing a towel for me. I took it with the pads of my fingers, as if it would have fallen apart in my hands.

“Thanks…” I realized that I didn’t even know her first name.

Holmes tilted her head, “What is it?”

I felt stupid for asking, it’s not a common thing to want to know someone’s first name around here, because it’s irrelevant nowadays, but Dani always liked it. I guess she always gets to me.

“What’s, um, what’s your name?” I asked.

“Lieutenant Holmes.” She said.

Sighing, I dabbed the towel on the back of my neck, soaking up the sweat that was creeping down the skin, “No, I mean, your first name.”

Holmes gave an amused smile, her eyes surveying me up and down. For a moment it seemed like she was going to dismiss me, but I guess she decided to humor me, “Imogen. My name is Imogen Holmes. Your turn.”

“Grace Harper.”

Imogen kept up her smile, “I like that name.”

There was a long stretch of silence between us. Imogen’s eyes burned into mine, her gentle eyes burning into my defenses. I guess I was okay being personal with her, if anyone.

“You two are still here, good.” Dani’s voice came into the room. Imogen and I jumped, turning to see our commander, looking worn out and defeated. Her eyes were half lidded, and her posture sagged over.

I staggered away from Imogen, going to Dani like the puppy I supposedly was, “You’re back early.”

“That meeting was killing me.” Dani said, rubbing her shoulder, “I just wanted to see how things were progressing down here with you two.”

Imogen took the lead for me, “It went well. We didn’t get to do too much, but that medicine is helping for sure. They kept up on the treadmill for quite a while before getting too tired. The longer we work at it, the quicker they will make a full recovery.”

I looked at Dani, she must have told Imogen about my preferences. When Dani returned my gaze, I smiled.

“I’m glad to hear it.” Dani said, still looking at me.

“Well… I need a shower.” I said, feeling like someone poured water all over me.

Dani nodded, “Whew, me too. You wouldn’t think so, but sitting in a chair all day can take a lot out of you.”

Imogen chuckled, I followed thereafter.

Turning to Imogen, Dani spoke, “Want to join us? We can all hit the cafeteria after. I’m starving.”

The augment looked honored, then looked to me. I was confused for a moment, before I realized that she was asking if I was okay that she came along with us.

“I like that idea.” I said, keeping my eyes on Imogen. She looked like she had finally stopped holding her breath.

“What are we waiting for, then?” Dani said, “ _ vamonos. _ ”


	15. The Metallic Madness Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Grace is intent on going out for a scout mission that Dani has forbidden them from partaking in... but they find was around that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! I would have wanted this to come out earlier but I spent the past week being painfully ill (stomach problems) but now I'm doing alright! I've been spending so much of my time shiny hunting Pokémon that writing has been a little bit of an afterthought recently, but I'm working away, promise.  
> This chapter is the beginning/set up of a three part plot arch (as indicated by the name) and I can't wait to get into it because I have some fun stuff planned (including fleshing out Imogen even more, because she is something new that I'm doing, so I'm pumped for it)  
> Enjoy.

The one question I kept asking myself for the past three weeks, was why I kept thinking about Imogen. I mean, it wasn’t often that I made friends, if that was the right word to call her, but having  _ anyone  _ who isn’t Dani occupying my thoughts most of the time was a new experience.

I told myself I didn’t  _ want  _ to make friends here. What was the point? Gain attachments to people who you will probably see die? I’d rather have that emotional trauma spared, so I could focus on the places that really needed my attention, keeping Dani safe.

At the end of the day, though, I just kept thinking about her. How kind she was, how patient she was. It seemed like she really wanted to know me, and that she really cared about me as a person, not as another soldier in the ranks. It even seemed like she was… flirting with me. I really didn’t want to think about what that meant, and how I’d have to deal with it if she persisted. 

She seemed quite a bit older than me, probably closer to her thirties. Dani was about the same age, so it wasn’t a big deal, but something I had to think about.

But, uh, it doesn’t matter Dani’s age, because I’m  _ not _ into her.

Right?

“Grace? Hey, Grace. Are you listening to me?”

I jerked to attention, my knee flicking out under the table.

“ _ Ow _ .” My foot connected with Sarah’s shin.

“What? Sorry.” I said, curling back up in my seat. Sarah glared at me, unimpressed. Dani seemed to be the same way. The air in her office was still, and stuffy. My stomach churned as my skin pulsed with the heat crashing down on me. Couldn’t she get some colder air in here? Open a door or something, sheesh.

“ _ Escuchen,  _ Grace.” Dani warned, “this is an important conversation.”

I nodded, picking at my fingernails to take as much stimulation away from the temperature as I could.

“So,  _ as I was saying,”  _ Dani glared at me, along with Sarah, “Grace’s recovery has been going along quite well. I’ve ordered that they get double the dosage of medication as of late to speed up the process, and I think it’s working.”

Looking at me, I could tell Dani wanted me to answer. I had to push my mind to the surface of all of the heat to say anything, “Yeah, but it makes my back itchy.”

“Be lucky you can feel it at all.” Sarah said, snide as always.

I curled my lip, “You won’t feel yours if you  _ keep talking _ .”

“ _ Suficiente _ .” Dani snapped, “ _ deja de hablar. _ ”

Feeling scolded, I backed down, making sure to shoot Sarah the stink eye before focusing my attention back on Dani once again.

Dani placed her hands on a large map in front of her, I had only seen it once or twice before. It was a scout map. Regularly, Dani has a designated squad of scouters that she sends out for days at a time to survey as much land as they can, updating what we know around us. There were still a few old maps from before the war, but they were almost obsolete now. Legion towers and posts, including the devastation from the fallout has changed the landscape as we knew it, calling for a redeveloped understanding of our landscape.

Circling an empty part of the map with her finger, Dani kept talking, “The influx of Terminators we have seen in our sector in the last week has us considering the possibility that another Terminator base has arisen in  _ this _ ,” Dani continues to circle the empty plot, “unmapped section of the area.”

“We can’t just send scouters out there.” Sarah interrupted, leaning forward in her seat, “they aren’t combatively adept. If there really is a Terminator facility out there, every one of them would be slaughtered.”

Dani scratched her eyebrow, thinking over the situation, “I could send an attack squadron out, but that would limit the ones we have on-hand.”

I scoffed, “Just send a mix.”

Both women looked at me like I just smashed a very expensive vase. I cleared my throat, and kept talking, “I assume that’s why you led this with my recovery? Take a few combat soldiers, a couple of scouts, maybe a medic, then cram them all together and send them off?”

Dani and Sarah looked at each other for a moment, then the Commander flicked her eyes to me, “You’re not going.”

“Wh…” I sat up in my chair, “why not? I’m doing a lot better, as you said.”

The Commander shook her head, “My intention is that you could do the night watch, not go directly into enemy fields.”

“Then why didn’t you  _ say that _ ?” My voice cracked through the room, surprising Sarah. 

Though Dani didn’t flinch. She stayed as still as a statue, staring me down, “If you had been paying attention, you’d know that I already did.”

I blinked, feeling another gust of heat sneaking down the collar of my shirt.

My silence was enough for Dani to move on, “Seeing as we weren’t all paying attention before, let me recap. Grace will be tasked to lead the new night shift guard around the base, as per the monthly shift change. Sound good?”

“Yes,”  Sarah said, as I said “no.”

Dani’s glare could melt me, along with the stale air. I met her stare back, trying to be as convincing, “I want to go back into the field, even as a scout. I’m ready.”

“Grace.” Dani planted her hands down, “I cannot let you into the field. Our medical staff says that anyone who has suffered an injury like yours has to be out of the field for at least 2 months or more, depending on the level of medicine administered.”

I gripped the edge of my chair, “Oh,  _ screw that _ . You know I’m ready. The rehab you’ve had me do is almost useless new, I’ve outgrown all of it.” I leaned forward, “please. Let me at least go as a scout.”

Dani was silent for a long moment, her lips pursed, and for a moment it looked like she was about to concede. But then the hardness in her eyes came back, “What is with you and being  _ obsessed _ with being in the field?”

Attacked, I scrambled for a rebuttal, “I’m not. It’s my job. I swore on my life that I would fight for this resistance. I can’t just sit around, useless when the war needs me.”

“You’ll be more useless if you go out there and get hurt, we’ve been over this.” Dani said, “over the last four months, every time you’ve been out on a mission, you come back with an injury.”

I felt like I was about to pass out, but my passion carried me, “It’s  _ war _ , Dani. You can’t expect people to not get hurt when they go out to fight unstoppable killer robots.”

“Not like you, Grace.” Dani shot back, “you’re reckless, you fight with every inch of your body, even if it means you  _ lose  _ those inches. This isn’t any other war, my soldiers aren’t disposable. They are  _ people _ , and I want them to survive out there.”

“That’s unrealistic.” I said, “You know how unrealistic that is.”

“I do.” Dani looked down for a second, “but when I see you out there, ready to risk yourself for any situation, no matter the size, I need to intervene.”

Dani looked like she was about to fall apart. She took a few deep breaths, at the same time that I did. Meanwhile, Sarh looked like she got whiplash, staring at Dani, then looking back at me.

“I don’t know why,” Dani started, her voice calm, “but I have to keep saying how much you mean to me. Because every time I say it, you try to get yourself killed.”

My stomach swirled with guilt, “For you-”

“Let. Me. Finish.” Dani cut through my words, straining to keep her voice down. “So I’m saying it again. You mean too much to me, to the war, for me to let you go out this soon. So, you are not going out on the scout mission, and that is an order. Am I understood?”

“Yes Commander, ma’am.” I said, lying through my teeth.

“Fantastic.” Dani flipped back on her authoritative attitude, “Sarah, gather our scouts from last mission.”

“Sure thing.” Sarah said, pretending she didn’t just hear our catfight.

Dani stood from her desk, “I’ll do some rounds, see which soldiers are willing to take this mission head-on.” Her eyes fell to me, “any more questions?”

I grabbed the collar of my shirt, yanking it outward, “Can you open a window in here? I feel like I’m going to pass out.”

“You’re dismissed.” Dani said, then turned her attention over to Sarah.

Well, that went well. 

Going back to Dani’s and taking a nap didn’t feel like a good idea, or anything productive. I could hit the workout room, perfecting my form so I can get back into the Revball league as soon as possible, but that felt like a waste. Everything did, compared to going out into the field.

Without direction, I left the Commander’s office, cheeks still stinging from a sense of defeat. I mean, what did it matter that I was still in recovery? I had been doing really well, and I was the one who volunteered to go out in the first place. It wasn’t fair.

My frustrated stomping had led me to the Augment barracks, in search of one specific person. When I peeked my head in, she was there, standing by a bunk in the back corner in a bra and sweatpants, her shirt on the bed. I said nothing, just watched as she grabbed the plain white t-shirt, and put it on with calculated movements. It took her a few moments, but she caught my eye in the doorway eventually. Her smile coaxed one out of me, as well.

“Well look who it is.” Imogen said, watching as I walked into the barracks, not making any eye contact with any of the other supersoldiers in the room, despite how much their gazes burned into my skin.

“Yep, it’s me.” I replied, unsure of what else I could say to her.

Imogen looked me over, “And without the cane!”

I shifted my weight from foot to foot, “Feeling much better by now.”

The Augment sat back down on her bed, “I heard the Commander had you getting med doses constantly, so I’m not really surprised.”

“Yeah. My back is so itchy, I’m surprised I haven’t scratched the skin off.” I said, standing beside the bed, stiff as a board.

Imogen chuckled, then patted her bed, inviting me to sit, “Well, as long as you don’t scratch it often, you should be okay.”

I took her offer, sitting on the very edge of her bed. Another female Augment walked by, brushing the back of my head with her rib cage as she tried to sneak past me. I tried not to turn around and look at her.

“Hey,” Imogen said, after I didn’t respond, “you doing okay?”

I sighed, “I don’t know. I think I’ll survive.”

“Is it about,” Imogen lowered her voice, “Mrs. Commander?”

Giving her a light shove, I chuckled, “Maybe. But not for anything like that. We had a pretty big argument.”

Imogen’s face fell, “What happened?”

“I want to go back out into the field, but she won’t let me.” I said, hearing it out loud, it sounded like a stupid thing to complain about, but I stuck by my side of it. I was sure Imogen would see my way.

“Wow.” Imogen said, “do you really think you’re ready to go back out there?”

I nodded, “I feel great, and I’ve been doing great. There is no reason that I can’t go out there.”

Before Imogen could say something, she turned to face the front of the room. I followed her gaze to see the old geizer Sarah Connor standing at the ready. She tapped her cane on the floor multiple times, creating a silence throughout the barracks.

“Good morning, soldiers,” she started, looking uncomfortable with having to start with pleasantries. Sarah was the most informal person I knew. I don’t think I’ve even heard her say hello before.

“Your Commander needs last-minute soldiers for a mission to the far east of this compound.” Sarah began, “we are looking for volunteers to gear up effective immediately to investigate what we think may be a new Terminator base. You will be briefed more on the situation at the armory. Be ready for danger.”

Imogen turned back to look at me. It took me a moment to tear my eyes away from Sarah, to see the determination in the Augment’s eyes. She leaned close to me, whispering, “Do you really want to go out there?”

I nodded, then looked past Imogen, to the old woman staring me down.

Sarah scanned the faces in the room, “Come forth if you’re willing.”

A few Augments stepped towards the front. A tall woman with a buzz cut, and an even taller man with hair longer than Dani’s, and a woman my height, the side of her head shaved. When it seemed like that was everyone, Imogen reached over, brushed my knuckles with her thumb, then stood up.

“What are you-” I started.

“Meet me at the south entrance in ten minutes.” Imogen whispered to me, before following everyone else to the front of the room. I watched her go, shuffling to the edge of the bed all the while avoiding Sarah, who I knew was looking at me the whole time.

When the four augments left with Sarah, it took me a moment to realize that I was the odd one out in the room, and the other Augments were definitely judging me. In a fluster, I left the barracks, feet moving faster than I wanted them too.

‘ _ The south entrance _ ’ Imogen had told me. I picked at my nails as I navigated the halls, pondering on it. Our scouting missions always leave from the- aptly named -scouting bay, which faced the northeast. I stopped at a fork in the hallway. One extended out to the armory and cafeteria, where the other branched down to the south. Tapping my foot, I focused on the noise it made as I considered my options.

I had no reason  _ not  _ to trust Imogen. We had gotten to know each other quite a lot over the last few weeks, and she hadn’t presented any reason for me to be weary of her. Though I knew she had a pretty tight connection to Dani…

Sheesh, how childish. I shook the thought out of my head and walked down the south corridor, taking small breaths so that I didn’t have to smell the musty walls. I could hear the water splash under my shoes as I sped up the pace, nervous to get to the south entrance. It would take about 6 minutes to get there, so I had to spend the next 4 agonizing over what Imogen had up her sleeve. Once I got to the bay door, I couldn’t stay still. I paced back and forth, over and over again, waiting for Imogen.

After what felt like a millennium, the Augment’s footsteps came from the hall behind me. When I looked at her, I noticed she was already suited up; covered head to toe in plated armor, but it didn’t seem to affect her speed as she raced down the corridor. Her arms were full, too.

When she reached me, I couldn’t do much but stare as she regained the breath she had lost, which wasn’t as much as any average person, but I had to assume she had run all the way across the base.

“I told them…” Imogen panted, “that I had forgotten my medication back at my bunk.” She dropped the armful of goods she had been carrying. There was a chestplate, leggings, combat boots, a helmet, a gun, and a dagger.

“Jesus. How could you carry all that stuff?” I asked, kneeling down to inspect it all.

Imogen let out an airy laugh, “Super soldier, motherfucker. Now, get this crap on, fast.”

I grabbed the chestplate, “So what? I leave through this door and meet you all out there?”

She grabbed the gun that she dropped on the ground for me, checking the clip, “No. They have sensors for the doors. I’m sneaking you out with the rest of us, so hurry up.”

“How didn’t you get caught taking all this stuff?” I asked, pulling on the loose pants. She probably assumed that I had a lot more leg muscle than I actually did. Flattering, but untrue.

“Vice Commander Connor’s eyesight isn’t as keen as it used to be.” Imogen said. I.. doubted that, but wasn’t going to waste time arguing it.

For the final piece, I put on the helmet, which was so big it rested on the bridge of my nose. I groaned, craning my neck back to reveal only a sliver of my vision.

“You look perfect.” Imogen said, thrusting my plasma rifle into my chest. On instinct, I wrapped my arms around it, clutching it to me.

“I can’t  _ see. _ ”

“Perfect.” Imogen said, “then they won’t recognize you.”

I huffed, adjusting the helmet on my head. There were probably a million objections I had to this plan, but I held my tongue, following Imogen down the hall towards the scouting bay. I had to follow the sound of Imogen’s footsteps, because otherwise I would be running into walls and corners. Occasionally, I would lift my head up to gain a small understanding of where I was, but that could possibly give me away.

I could hear Sarah’s voice, indicating that we were getting closer to the scouting bay. My heart started to slam against my ribs, sweat building up in my palms. I took a deep breath out, which was followed by Imogen’s hand on my shoulder, with her fingers brushing my clavicle.

“This expedition will take a few days.” I could hear Sarah say, “especially if we are correct about the base.”

Unable to see where I was going, I bumped into someone in front of me, who grunted and rolled their shoulders back. I whispered my apology, and glued myself to Imogen’s side while I waited to get the hell out of there.

“Stick to the mission parameters.” Sarah said, “you all have communication radios to contact HQ in any emergency.”

Confused, I leaned in to Imogen, whispering, “You didn’t give me a radio.”

“Relax, it’s in my pocket.” Imogen returned, her whisper more harsh than mine.

“Quiet, soldiers.” Sarah spat, and I could feel Imogen stiffen beside me. Everyone murmured around us; I tucked my head down, as if deflecting their judgement with my massive helmet.

Everyone quieted immediately when a new set of boots clinked against the ground. My heart was racing, as I knew exactly who entered the room. The sound of those steps was so distinct, I didn’t even have to guess. An authoritative weight pressed down on the platform combat boots as the Commander herself entered the bay. I felt Imogen press herself closer to me.

“I know this is last minute.” Dani said, which seemed to make me burn up, “so I thank you for your willingness to rush into a mission like this. The uncertainty of it…” she trailed off. I could feel the pain she was feeling, without even seeing it, “has taken away brave soldiers before.”

The room went somber for a moment, soldiers shuffling their feet, but their breaths went quiet. I felt the weight of the room pressing down on my shoulders and my chest. Dani knew how to lead the mood; her influence fell upon everyone in her vicinity.

“But.” Dani picked up after the moment of silence, “we have learned from our past. You are some of the best, and I have hope that we will gain from our victory today.”

Applause from the soldiers filled the small room, echoing off the walls. Shoving my rifle into my armpit, I added to the applause, blending in with the crowd.

“Now. It’s time to head out into the field, and thwart our enemy’s advances yet again.” Dani said, causing more of an applause from the soldiers around me. I decided not to join them in their shouting, just in case she could pick my voice out.

A loud beep accompanied the loud grinding of the bay door opening. Instantly, cold air whooshed into the room, stinging my cheeks and fingers. My jaw started to quiver in anticipation, making my teeth chatter gently against each other.

The soldiers in front of me started to move forth. I stayed closer to Imogen’s side as we went with them, things moving slower than I anticipated. 

“Good luck out there, soldier.” Dani said, allowing me to find out that she was sending off each soldier individually. By then, my heart was about to tear out of my chest, going insane against my poor rib cage. I was screwed, she would recognize me if I couldn’t hide within a crowd.

Imogen leaned close into me, “I’ll stay close, okay?”

I nodded, then stepped forward again.

“Lieutenant Holmes.” Dani said, “thank you for this. Especially so soon after the attack.”

“Not a problem.” Imogen said, “it was barely a scratch, plus, this fast healing stuff lets me get into the battle pretty quick.”

Dani chuckled, “Very true. Stay safe out there. Protect your soldiers.”

“I plan on it.” Imogen said, then stepped forward. It was my turn.

Blind, I just stepped towards where Imogen’s voice was coming from, turning myself to face the direction of Dani’s voice. My knees started to shake, getting ready to run the moment I was recognized.

The gentle laugh from my Commander calmed my nerves, but only for a second, “A little too eager with the helmet there, soldier?” 

I just nodded, not willing to give myself away.

“Let me help.” Dani said, then grabbed on to my helmet and yanked it above my eyes. The brightness of the room made me quint for a moment. When I fixed my eyesight, Dani was staring me down.

“Harper?” Dani said, looking furious, “what the hell?”

Before I could say anything, Imogen grabbed onto my hand and started running. I almost tripped before I could get my footing, but I managed to take off with her.

“Lieutenant Harper!” Dani called after us, “ _ Grace! _ ” She started to chase after us, but Sarah grabbed the smaller woman, holding her back.

I held Dani’s gaze as long as possible, all the way until the bay door closed, separating us. I tapped on Imogen’s arm, begging her to slow down the sprinting. After the wind stopped howling in my ears, I could hear that Imogen was laughing.

“What’s so funny?” The air was knocked out of my lungs.

Imogen chuckled though her gasps, “That was insane.”

Her laugh was infectious, I laughed too, “She’s gonna kill me when we get back.” My laughing was to convince myself that I wasn’t terrified of what that interaction was going to look like.

“We’ll deal with that when we get there.” Imogen grabbed my wrist, dragging me to the rest of the squad, “come on.”

“She took my helmet.” I said, not liking the lack of protection that could really come in handy.

Imogen scruffed up my hair with her hand, “You’ll be fine. Just lay low.”

“That’s not why I came out here.”

The Augment flashed her teeth in a smile, “You’re damn right.”

I frowned, slowing down, “Why  _ did  _ you help me, anyway?”

Holmes looked confused, but humored me anyway, “Because who am I to deny a soldier’s death wish? Plus, being in the field with you is a blast.”

My cheeks burned, then my feet sped up, remembering to keep up.

Imogen didn’t let up, though, she shouted out to the whole group, “We serve together, we die together. Now, let’s get this show on the road, huh?”

The squad hollered in encouragement, not knowing that they could all be heading to their doom.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos to anyone that understood the reference in the chapter title ;)


	16. The Metallic Madness Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Grace and Imogen set out on a journey to the unknown east, and bond along the way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so bad, I'm sorry folks. Shit's messed up rn so focusing on my writing has been very hard.

We had all been walking for hours. Our feet were sore, throats dry, and teeth chattering as the setting of the sun brought even colder weather. When it became too cold to continue on, a few scouters went ahead to find us any kind of shelter to rest the night. They led the group to a crumbled concrete building. Once a few chunks of stone were moved to the side, it revealed an entrance to a small basement-like room. It was hidden enough that a wandering Terminator wouldn’t find it with ease, and provided cover from the howling wind. In other words, it was genius.

Imogen and a few other soldiers pushed the stones aside, and let the remaining scouts crawl their way in. The hole wasn’t big enough to walk in, so everyone had to crawl on their hands and knees to have access. I almost slipped on the mud when crawling down the slope leading into the basement room. The soldiers inside were huddling together, blowing into their hands.

“We need a few members to go out and search for fuel we’ll need for a fire,” one of the soldiers said, huddled up to his buddy. Both didn’t seem very cold, just close. The scars on their body revealed themselves as Augments, who had a tendency to not succumb to below average weather conditions like the rest of us.  
“Good luck with that,” someone replied, “we live in a _wasteland_ , remember?”

The first soldier huffed, “We have a bottle of fire fluid. All we need is a little bit of fuel as a base.”

Right, fire fluid. Our chemists made it to make long lasting fires during missions. The fluid itself burns for hours at a time, but other fuel helps it burn hotter. I looked between the two arguing soldiers, then something popped into my head.

“Wait,” I interrupted, “we’re in an enclosed space, burning a fire in here would just smoke us out.”

The first soldier looked as if I had just spit on his shoe, “It’ll be for our night guards outside.”

I frowned, “Doesn’t that defeat the point of having a hidden shelter?”

The man chuckled, his friend looked like he wanted to deescalate the situation, but couldn’t be bothered to act. Challenging, the first soldier glared at me, “Fine, you stand guard in the freezing cold night without any fire.”

There wasn’t anything I could say to that, so I just kept my mouth shut. Long before the war, Texas was always a warm place, even in the winter months. But it turns out, nuclear warfare kinda messes with the earth.

The challenging soldier nodded at a few scouts, who crawled their way back out of the den. Imogen moved up beside me, the warm skin of her arm brushing up against mine. Instinctively, I cuddled in closer to her.

I was told that we had canned corn and beans for half a weeks. They normally packed a few extra days worth of food, but they really weren’t sure how long this expedition would take, especially seeing as we were on foot, and the days got colder as they came and gone.

“Who’s gonna take the first shift?” The asshole soldier’s friend asked, scratching the back of his head. To be honest, I needed some fresh air and alone time. Especially since Imogen was hugging on to me all the time. I needed some space from her, and figure out how I felt about her.

“I’ll take it.” I volunteered. 

“You shouldn’t go out there alone.” Imogen offered, “I’ll join you.”

Exactly what I didn’t want. Fantastic.

The soldiers chatted amongst themselves who would take the shift after us. I dropped my oversized helmet on the ground, getting annoyed by how heavy it was to carry. The scout leader, a tall, thin man with black hair, dropped his backpack to the ground, producing a few cans of beans and water canteens. Everyone flocked to him, wanting to be the first to fill themselves up after an exhausting day of walking. I hung back, feeling less than hungry.

“Want me to grab you something?” Imogen asked, one foot already stepping towards the crowd.

I shook my head, “I’m not really hungry.”

The augment didn’t seem to like that answer, “You should eat something. You’ll want the energy.”

“I’m fine.” I insisted, making an effort to not look directly at her. I appreciated her help, but couldn’t understand her angle. There was a chance she just wanted to be… friends?- God knows I don’t know how to make any of those - but the sudden interest had me feeling… more self conscious than I usually liked to.

“If you insist…” Imogen reached behind to her rucksack, pulling out a small flask. I willed myself to look at her, but it seemed like it was her turn to ignore me. She tipped her head back, gulping down whatever she had put in there, which was most likely alcohol.

Maybe I was being too inconsistent for her, but I didn’t know how not to be… I wasn’t taught these friendship making skills. Even before Judgement Day, my best friend was a book. I sighed, there would be time for me to question her, just not now.

“Hey!” A voice came from outside the hidden base. I spun around as fast as I could, snatching the rifle from behind my back. Everyone around me seemed shocked at my reaction. The voice was noticeably one of our scouters, but you can’t blame a soldier for being on guard.

“We found some newspapers out here, where should we put them?” The scouter asked, impatient.

Everyone looked to Lieutenant Asshole, who cleared his throat before shouting back, “Put ‘em right outside the entryway. And put some weight on ‘em so they don’t fly away!”

“Yes sir.” One of the scouts said, while the other worked on getting the rocks out of the way.

I watched uselessly as everyone else started taking sleeping bags out from their rucksacks, organizing them equal distances apart. I didn’t have a backpack, or a sleeping bag, so the dirt would have to be good enough for the night.

Beside me, shrugging her shoulder to make her bag fall on the first with a loud  _ thud _ . I jumped, but stayed close beside her. The Augment didn’t look at me as she produced one sleeping bag from the bag… then a second one.

“I double packed.” She said, giving me a cheeky yet shy smile, “just in case.”

“Thank you.” I said, and took the second one from her hands.

Taking Imogen’s lead, I knelt down to place my borrowed sleeping bag next to where she put hers. Mine was in less than good shape, dotted with holes and burn marks, and it smelled like moss. I didn’t say anything, though. I was grateful that an effort was at least made.

“The sooner, the better, volunteers.” The asshole said, looking at Imogen and I. I glared back at him, a look that didn’t go unnoticed, but did go ignored. “You two take the first three hour shift. We’ll send in Jefferson and Williams as your relief, got it?”

“Sure thing, Hadrell.” Imogen said, picking her rucksack back up and swinging it over her shoulder before jabbing her elbow into my side.

“ _ Ow _ .” I poked her back, a smile on my face, “I’m not deaf.”

Imogen smiled back, “Then let’s move it.”

I followed her to the entrance, lending my strength along with hers as we moved the rubble out of the way and exposed ourselves to the open air. The wind nipped at my cheeks, and the smell of mud and blood filled my nostrils, but I liked it more than moss and sweat, that was for sure.

“The shit’s over there.” Imogen nodded towards a pile of newspapers and rocks. I followed her lead, grabbing the newspapers while she took some of the rocks.

I looked around, then noticed an open space above where the shelter was. It looked to be what used to be the lobby of the building, before all went to shit. All walls were gone, but at least it had some sort of roofing.

“Let’s set up over there,” I said, “I don’t want the possibility of us or the fire getting rained on tonight.”

Imogen squinted one eye as she looked at me, “You really think it’ll rain?”

“I can feel it.” I replied, then headed up a set of stairs to the sheltered area. Imogen took a few moments, then followed me up. I waited for her to put a few rocks down, then set the crumpled up pieces of newspaper in the middle of them.

Watching as Imogen doused the set of dirt covered newspapers with the fire fluid, I groaned, “They couldn’t have found any twigs or anything?”

The Augment laughed, “From what? A tree? I don’t think so. None around anymore, and the ones that are, release toxic fumes when burned.”

“Really?”

Imogen nodded, grabbing the box of matches from her pocket, “One expedition team learned that the hard way.”

My stomach rolled, but I just focused on the fire, watching as Imogen dropped a lit match onto the pile of soaked newspapers, and they burst into flames. I felt the heat lick along my skin, especially my ankles, but I didn’t move, I let the heat warm me up for a few moments, letting the feeling slowly sink back into my fingers.

Feeling satisfied, Imogen sat by the fire, she looked up at where I was standing, “You gonna stand there, or stay a while?”

“Sorry.” I said, and sat down next to her, my legs crossed.

The Augment kept staring at me, her chin hiked up just a little bit. I turned my head, wondering if she was looking past me, but there was nothing. I looked back at her, “What?”

Imogen smiled, “So…”

I shrugged.

“C’mon. Don’t be coy.” Imogen said, “what happened between you and Dani?”

That question was coming. I knew it was, but that didn’t mean I wanted to answer it, “Nothing. I mean, I already told you. She said I’m not healed enough yet, I insisted I was, but she wasn’t ready for that, so I had to take matters into my own hands.”

“Right.” Imogen nodded, “and why do you think she cares so much?”

I tilted my head, “Because she cares about people?”

Imogen gave me a rather pitiful look, “I know she cares about people, Grace. But let's face it, she doesn’t try that hard for just anyone.”

“Yes she does.” I defended, “she wants the best for her soldiers. She wouldn’t willingly let anyone go into battle wounded.”

The Augment looked into the fire, “If that was true, she wouldn’t let a single damn person go into the field.”

I let us fall to silence. Realistically, Imogen was right. The number of injured soldiers outweighs the number of fit ones. That was the brutal honesty of this war, we just didn’t have enough manpower, or numbers to overtake our enemy. Every time soldiers are deployed, there is no guarantee that they will come back alive, but there is a guarantee that they’ll get maimed out in the field. It was the risk all soldiers knew, and took.

“She is the whole reason I’m alive.” Imogen said, “I owe her everything I am, but there is no denying that she gives you special treatment, Harper.”

I knew that, we both did. Dani was always concerned about the others calling out her special treatment, but I guess that I had never thought of it until then. About why exactly she gave me special treatment.

“Do…” I gulped, “do you really think she has feelings for me?”

The Augment reached into her bag, grabbing a can of beans, “I can’t claim to know anything for sure, but it seems pretty damn obvious.”

“Wow...” I looked at my lap, “that’s… a lot of information to process.”

Imogen grabbed a metal pot from her bag next. Goddamn, she thought of everything, didn’t she? Must have made a few extra stops before coming to smuggle me out of there. I watched as she used a knife to carve open the can of beans, then pour them into the pot. She then reached over the fire, letting the pot heat up, “Do you feel the same way?”

“Oh. You mean, romantically?” I felt my face lighting itself on fire.

Imogen laughed, “Yeah, romantically.”

“I told you, I like guys.” I said, throwing anything out there.

Wiggling the pot, Imogen kept her arm out. It didn’t even look like she was tired, still holding firm, “Right… that’s what I thought, too. All the way until tenth grade.”

Eager to hear more, I shuffled closer to Imogen.

“I was all over guys.” Imogen started, smiling at herself, “I was crushing on all the popular actors, I had posters of all the ‘hottest’ models in my room, it was my whole thing.” She paused for a moment, her face fell flat. “But one day, my friend Dianna was all I could think about. I thought about her in ways I didn’t think I could.”

She pondered over what she was about to say, then said it, “Then I didn’t know if I  _ should _ think those things. When I told Dianna how I felt… she never spoke to me again. As time went on, I kept thinking to myself: ‘this is wrong. I shouldn’t think about girls like that. It’s bad. Something is wrong with me.’ It took me too long to realize that I was okay, and that what I was going through was normal. I just wish I knew it sooner.”

I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her, “You refused to acknowledge who you were…?” 

“I did.” Imogen nodded, “but I never will again.” Then, she kissed me. It took too long to realize what was happening. Her lips, pushing against mine. Her warmth, bleeding into me. It comforted me for a second, I let myself melt into it, but my instincts kicked in the moment after, and I flew away.

Also surprised, was Imogen. She dropped the pot she was holding, and it fell into the fire, “Shit!” She shouted, reaching in to grab it. A lick of flame embraced her finger, but she stayed by her mission, pulling out the now burning food.

“I’m sorry!” I said, feeling every emotion I possibly could in that moment flow through me. Imogen held her burned hand close to her chest, curling up around it. I leaned in closer to her, trying for a better look.

“Don’t worry, Grace.” Imogen said, “I’m fine, just a little burn.”

Guilty, I chewed at my lip, “I just didn’t see that coming. I’m sorry, I panicked.”

“I didn’t see it coming, either, Grace.” Imogen said, “I just kind of did it, I guess.”

I wasn’t sure what to say, so I just apologized again. Imogen kind of nodded at me, focusing on wrapping the burned hand with some gauze she fished out of her bag. I watched her, my lips still tingling just a little bit. My nerves were soaring, bouncing all around the inside of my body, begging to run rampant around the room. I kept myself in check.

Imogen closed her eyes, “I’m sorry for kissing you like that. I got caught up, and wanted to try something, I shouldn’t have sprung it on you.”

“Don’t worry.” I shrugged, “water under the bridge.” It absolutely was not, but I didn’t want Imogen to know that. My brain kept replaying it over and over, and part of it wanted me to kiss her again, replay the memory, but I blinked the thought out.

“Anyway,” Imogen lifted the pot up, “feel like burnt beans?”

I laughed, “Sounds scrumptious.”

Imogen dropped the pot aside, “I have energy bars.”

“No thanks.” I shook my head, “I’m not really hungry, just tired.”

The Augment shrugged, “If you insist. Go ahead and get some sleep, that’s why there’s two of us.”

Feeling bad, I refused, “No, I don’t want to leave you to watch alone.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Imogen said, “seriously. Close your eyes for a bit, I’ll wake you in a few.”

I needed the sleep, or else I’d pass out on my own. I kinda felt like a jerk falling asleep here and making Imogen sit around by herself, but I was starting to get too tired to care. I nodded, conceding.

“Wake me in an hour, okay?” I said, taking off my sweatshirt to use as a pillow.

“One hour.” Imogen repeated. “Copy.”

Despite how uncomfortable I was, the emptiness of sleep found me quickly. My body, warmed by the nearby flames, allowed itself to shut down, to put down it’s defenses, so I could sleep in the exposed air. I had an ally beside me, but the uncertainty of the war torn world around me was enough to keep anyone on their toes, despite how many allies I had.

When my eyes did open, I had moved locations. As soon as I registered the change, I jolted up, aligning my eyesight with a beam of sunlight. I squinted, confused, and tried to figure out where I had moved to. A groan beside me drew my attention to Imogen, who was passed out in her sleeping bag, and, after a glance around me, many other soldiers slept in their sleeping bags, too. 

It was the morning, Imogen had let me sleep through the night. I frowned at her, despite the fact that she was still fast asleep on the ground beside me. Seeing as I did sleep through the night, I supposed that I needed it.

The commotion of a few other soldiers was what had awoken me. Everyone was starting to wake up, packing away their things, so the pack could get a move on. I stayed still, blinking myself awake for a few moments. I’d get up and pack away my things in a moment, but for then I just wanted to let myself wake up.

When Imogen woke up, I started to get a move on. She took my sleeping bag to put in her rucksack, while watched uselessly beside her. With nothing more than half an energy bar in my stomach, I was eager to set off with the rest of the soldiers.

It was colder than yesterday. The wind had more of a bite, and the air felt as though it had small blades of ice that were shooting into my skin. While walking, I tried to stay in the middle of the pack, keeping myself as warm as possible. Imogen, however, stood tall and proud beside me, looking less than bothered by the weather.

“Do you think there really is an enemy base?’ I asked her, feeling awkward in the silence.

Imogen sniffed the air, “There’s no way to tell, really. We haven’t had troops over here in months. That could be long enough for Legion to set up something.”

I frowned, “Well, yeah, but don’t you think we would have noticed? I mean, building a whole base isn’t exactly a quiet operation.”

“These fuckers are smart.” Imogen said, “underestimating them isn’t an option.”

She did make a point. There was a chance that they-

“Halt!” A voice came from the front of the pack. It took a little too long for me to understand the direction, so I bumped into a soldier in front of me. They didn’t seem to mind, in fact, there was no reaction from them whatsoever.

The few soldiers in front of me were tall, taller than me even, so I had to wiggle around to try and see what everyone was so caught up about. I looked over to Imogen, who was staring up ahead, “What’s the deal?” I asked.

“Speak of the devil.” Imogen murmured.

“What the hell does that mean?” I asked.

She looked over at me, “I think we found it.”


	17. The Metallic Madness Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein the group discovers a newly erected Terminator base, but Grace has different intentions with it than everyone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, I just want to start out with saying how very sorry I am. Updates have been coming in slow, they've dropped in quality. I know, I know, but I've just been under more pressure than I have in a very long time. I've had encounters with some of the worst, more intense mental breakdowns I've seen in my whole life, tearing my mental health into shreds in every direction, which has also caused many issues in writing, especially focusing on what I write, and how long I write it. This chapter was supposed to be longer, but I hadn't released any updates in a long while, so I felt that I needed to get something out in order to keep the interest up. I've been working on repairing my mental health as quick as I can so I can get back to writing at my best, but things aren't as smooth as they used to be. For that reason, updates might be a bit scattered for a while until I get my act together. Thank you everyone who has stuck with me thus far, and I'm sorry again.

For a highly intelligent AI, Legion really needed to learn the art of subtlety. Jutting out from a broken down and worn wreck, was a rectangular building. The walls were pristine, made of what looked like high-grade steel. The Terminators must have decided to turn the ruins of what seemed like a strip mall from before the war, into a base or factory. Concrete pillars were embedded within the newly built steel walls, as if they felt that demolishing that once stood there to make room seemed useless.

The place looked empty. We hadn’t seen any Terminators on the way, and after sending scouts and soldiers to search the parameter, it was revealed that nothing and no one resided from within.

“Maybe…” I bit my lip, “it’s abandoned?”

“I suppose.” A scout said, he had a full beard and wrinkled on his face, but stood shorter than me, “but the building itself looks too new. What would be the point in building a brand new setup, just to leave it?”

Hadrell, the asswipe of a human being, scoffed, “Well, if these things are so goddamn smart, maybe it’s just something we couldn’t understand.”

“This isn’t anything to sneeze at, regardless,” Imogen said, squeezing my arm when she noticed my intense stare at Hadrell, “we need to do something about this.”

“And what do you suggest?” Hadrell snipped at her, making me flinch in an attempt to hold myself back. I really wanted nothing more than to reach into his eye sockets and to pull his eyes out. Wouldn’t be so judgy then, would he?

Imogen didn’t seem very pleased with his attitude, either, “Getting off our asses would be a welcome start.”

After we first stumbled across the building, the group hid in a nearby ruin to analyze the plan, and despite the urgency, we hadn’t done anything about it yet… I, for one, was a little appreciative of having some off time. My back was screaming in pain, the soles of my feet were aching, and my throat was more dry than a bone under the sun all day.

Hearing my panting, Imogen pulled a flask from her belt, then handed it to me. I grabbed it and chugged as much as possible without hesitation. The water inside was a nice surprise, rather than the harsh booze I was expecting.

Hadrell grabbed the radio from his hip. He pressed it once, hearing static on the other end, “The line is dead. We’re too far out of range to reach HQ from here.”

“Then let’s go in.” I said.

The short scout shook his head, “What if we get attacked? There could be an onslaught in there.”

“We weren’t told that we had to eliminate the threat.” Imogen offered, “just observe it.”

I looked at her, “But this could be a real issue. Ignoring it just means they’ll follow us and attack the base. We can’t risk that.”

Another soldier groaned, “Let’s just go back.”

Hadrell’s radio then emitted a harsh screech, making a few soldiers flinch, and others groan. The Lieutenant struggled to grab the annoying thing, put off by the sound. Beside me, Imogen was cringing, her jaw locked and grinding.

“... Hadrell? … wh… issue…?” Dani’s voice came through the small box, Hadrell smacked it a few times before speaking into it.

“Commander. Our radios aren’t working. The distance may be too much.” He said, keeping the radio near him, but not too close

The Commander’s voice came through the speaker, “... established…. Locati… the… hi… base?”

Looking confused, Hadrell looked to the group. I bit my lip, working with the others to try solving the puzzle. Establish, location, and base seemed like perfect sense on it’s own, but could we be missing a crucial word that changes the question? I decided to take what we had at face value, “‘Have we established the location of the hidden base?’”

The shorter scout snapped his fingers and pointed at me, “That’s gotta be it!”

Hadrell stared at me for a moment, then spoke into the radio, “We found…  _ something. _ It looks new, but dormant.”

Crackling, the radio sat dormant for a few moments. I wasn’t sure if I should say something insightful to break the silence. Eventually, I figured that it was better to leave a silence like this as just silence.

“... What..?” Dani’s voice split through.

“We found something.” Hadrell’s voice was louder, and he took a pause between words. “But it looks like it is empty.”

Dani’s voice came through, muffled and broken, “... Do not… leave the… return… immediately…”

“Roger.” Hadrell responded.

“And tell Harper…” Dani’s voice came in again, making my throat squeeze, “when… return… dead…”

Everyone looked at me, and I avoided my gaze. I didn’t hear everything she said, but I knew what she was trying to say; it wasn’t anything I didn’t already know. She’d use my head as an example. How angry she must be… I knew she had to be just seething.

“Will do.” Hadrell said, putting the radio away. Everyone’s gaze wandered from me at their own pace, a few making a big deal of staring at me before minding their own business. My stomach growled at me, but I wasn’t hungry.

Hadrell stood up, “Scouters. Everyone done charting the area?”

“Yes Lieutenant.”

“Fantastic,” the Lieutenant said, “let’s get a move on.”

A few soldiers stood up without question, grabbing their bags. Imogen and I hesitated however, as well as Hadrell’s scout friend. The poor guy had been right by Hadrell’s side 24/7 this whole trip, letting the soldier walk all over him. Right now, though, he was looking at me, his eyes wide open.

Sighing, Imogen got to her feet, too. She extended an arm down to me, and I took it, letting her use her augment strength to pull me up.

“This isn't right.” I said, mostly to myself, though Imogen was close enough to be a part of it. The Augment kept the frown on her face, grabbing her things as well.

“Maybe not.” Imogen swung the bag over her shoulders, “but orders are orders.”

I stared at her, “You’re not serious.”

“I am.”

“What happened to sneaking me out against the Commander’s  _ orders _ ?”

Imogen pursed her lips, trying to let her freezing glare do the talking, but I could see past that. Imogen may be the stronger one, but I was used to using my words to get what I wanted. I smiled at her, “What’s it going to be?”

“You’re so hard to say no to.” Imogen’s smile broke her face.

Moving with the others, I left the crevice where we had been huddling. The ground outside was wet, caused by the patter of raindrops throughout. I felt them landing on my head, pattering against my hair.

Following orders, everyone else huddled in a group on their way back to the base. It would be another day and a half’s walk to get back, a journey I’d be fine making without the rest of ‘em, really.

Taking a deep inhale, I was ready to stand my ground, “I’m saying.”

The group of soldiers all paused, a few turning to look at me, some not bothering. Hadrell turned on a dime, his judgy eyes stabbing at me, “That’s cute.”

I gulped to wet my throat, “I am. I don’t care what she says, I’m going in there.”

“The way I’ve heard it,” Hadrell placed his hand on the radio attached to his waistline, “you’re in enough trouble with the big woman as it is, so I think it would be best to just shut up, comply, and maybe you won’t get put in the dog house.”

A few soldiers snickered. My face felt hot, but the cool rain on my back kept me grounded, as Imogen’s stoic composition beside me. I stood still, fist clenched at my sides, “I can’t. I’m going in.”

“You have a death wish?” Hadrell looked at me.

I looked at Imogen, who returned my gaze with certainty, and nodded.

“Yeah, I do.” I said, turning back to Hadrell. The rest of the soldiers looked impatient, a few going forth without their leader. I couldn’t quite blame them, the rain made the air even colder, and shelter was a mercy they couldn’t have until they found it themselves, and the sooner, the better.

Hadrell huffed, “Suit yourself. I’m escorting  _ my  _ squad back to safety, like I was ordered to.” He took a few steps back, but something stopped him from turning around. He was looking right past me, I swiveled to follow his line of sight. I was met with the smaller scout that always tended to stick by Hadrell’s side like glue.

“Jackson.” Hadrell hissed, “let’s get a move on. We’re falling behind.”

The poor guy was shaking, but he swallowed his fear to step forward, “No.” I could feel his courage in his words, and as he stood beside me. I looked to him, and to Imogen. For once, I didn’t feel like the sole delinquent. I had backup.

Looking at his expression, it was clear that Hadrell wasn’t used to Jackson turning him down, “I’m too tired for your shit right now. Let’s get moving.”

“I want to stay back.” Jackson’s fists were clenched so tight that the color drained from them. He looked like he was going to explode, or melt, or crumble.

“Jackson.” Hadrell barked, “get your ass over here  _ right now _ .”

The scout’s teeth were chattering, whether it was from the fear or the rain, I wasn’t sure. He shook his head, teeth clenched, “I’m not going.”

“You-” Hadrell said, teeth bared, “you are crossing a line you can’t uncross, TJ.”

TJ Jackson said nothing, he only stood his ground beside me. I kept my spine as rigid as possible, offering as much support as I could. My feet dug into the mud, sinking deeper ever so slowly. I paid it no mind, just focusing on puffing my chest out.

Hadrell grimaced, then shot Jackson a glare before following where the mob of soldiers had left before him. As he shrank into the horizon, Jackson let out a loud gasp, dropping his posture into a large slouch. I looked over at him, a relatively young looking boy, looking like a ghost.

“What have I done?” He asked, with a puff of vapor shooting from his mouth into the cold air.

Imogen walked over to us, placing a hand on the boy’s shoulder, “Grown a pair.”

I snorted, but didn’t comment on that, “The more the merrier, I guess. That way, if I get killed, you know to steer clear and go back to the base.”

The Augment shot her gaze at me, “We’re going in with you.”

It wasn’t that I wanted all the glory to myself, but letting Imogen and TJ in with me was an absolute no-no. In the event that there  _ was  _ an active threat in there, I’d be the only one risking themselves to uncover it. Bringing backup seemed like the best way to get as many people killed with a single action.

“Not a chance.” I said, “you two are the lookouts.”

Imogen tried to stare me down, removing her hand from TJ’s shoulder, while the smaller scout frowned at me, “You mean I just did  _ that  _ to be nothing more than a meager lookout?”

I looked at him, “Don’t be ridiculous, you did that to stand up for yourself, not me.”

“Grace.” Imogen got my attention.

“What I say is final, you two are staying out here.”

“Over my dead body.”

“That’ll be arranged,” I said, “if you go in with me.”

“You can’t know that for sure.” Imogen stepped forward, “it could be empty.”

I scoffed, “Imogen, they aren’t that stupid.”

The Augment clenched her fists at her side, mulling over her next words. I looked past her, eyeing the new building. The sleek black metal juxtaposed the crumbling concrete around it, and even through it. Pillars of concrete were rising out of the structure, a few strips of older material slithering along the metallic walls.

“Don’t make me hurt you to get things my way.” The augment said, tensing her shoulders to look taller.

“Why are you so determined to do this?” I asked.

Imogen growled, “Because, Grace. Believe it or not, the more I’ve gotten to know you, the more I’ve cared about you, and I’m not so keen on losing the people I care about, okay?”

I blinked, thrown off guard for a few moments. I don’t know exactly what struck me, but every time I blinked, I just saw Dani in Imogen’s place, begging me not to go. I gave my head a good shake, forcefully throwing Dani out of my vision. I couldn’t have the reminder of everything I was leaving behind haunt me as I made a decision like this.

Feeling my nerves harden, I planted my feet, “So do I, and that’s why I can’t put you at a risk like this.”

Imogen scoffed, “There would be less of a risk if we went  _ together. _ ”

Young TJ cleared his throat, turning our attention on him. He grimaced, seeing the two fighting soldiers staring him down, but spoke anyway, “Uhm… it  _ was  _ your idea to stay, Harper. You risked yourself and anyone who agreed with you.”

Clenching my teeth, I seethed at him, “I didn’t  _ want  _ anyone to stay back with me.”

“Then why did you try to convince me?” Imogen asked.

“I-” She was right, damnit. I wanted her to stay back for moral support, to not feel like I was alone, but at some point, that translated into wanting her by my side the  _ whole  _ time. I guess I didn’t know what I expected.

“You can’t take a stand like that,” TJ piped in, “and not expect anyone to stand by your side.”

I thought about it for a moment. Imogen could be a welcome help with her augment powers, but TJ? A human who looks more fragile than the mud we were standing on? Out of the question. With the weapons we have, he’d be killed in a matter of seconds if we managed to find something in there.

I shook my head, “No, I’m not sending anyone in there with me unless it’s do or die.”

Groaning, Imogen looked closer to punching me than I had ever seen her, “Grace. Don’t pick this hill to die on.”

“Wait.” I said, “I’m not finished.”

Imogen tilted her head at me, as did TJ.

“It’s clear that you two won’t let this fly.” I sighed, “but I still think I’m in the right here, so I’m willing to compromise. I go in alone-”

Imogen glared at me. I kept myself on track, “- _ But _ , I have a radio to contact you if I need backup.”

Looking at each other, TJ and Imogen weighed their options. They had some kind of non-verbal chat with each other as I debated pushing past them and going in without an agreement. We were losing daylight, and time in general.

“Deal.” Imogen said, taking the radio from her pocket and handing it to me. TJ grabbed his own radio, turning it on to check the battery. He gave us a thumbs up.

I cradled the radio in my hand, then turned it on. The rifle slung over my shoulder suddenly felt like a thousand pound weight crushing me down, but I was wrong enough to hold up against it.

“If absolutely anything happens, you radio me instantly. Got it?” Imogen said, staring me down with her dark eyes.

“Of course.” I said, “anything.”

“Okay.” Imogen said, stepping back, “don’t stick around too long.”

I walked past her, nodding to TJ on my way. Stopping in the mud, I turned to face them, “Just a quick in and out, no one gets hurt. See you in a few.”


	18. The Metallic Madness Part IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Grace soldiers on to investigate the Terminator base, but doesn't like what they find.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm so sorry for the inconsistencies but, as of a few hours from now, it's New Year's Eve! I normally hate the whole "associate bad circumstances with the current year" kinda thing, but with how much of a dumpster fire I've been lately, I can't wait to get back to writing. Both for myself, and to any of you that read this with every new update. Thanks to everyone who has been supporting me through this fic, and the new year will bring more updates and even more good Dani/Grace fluff. Anyway, ignore that rambling. Happy New Year, and enjoy the chapter! Hopefully it's not too much of a clusterfuck.

It took me ten minutes to find my way into the seemingly abandoned base. The door was a sliver in the polished metal. My eyes caught the outline, a thin rectangle which would just barely fit the size of a terminator. It was designed with purpose.

Placing my cool fingers on the outlined door was the cue to open it. With a hiss, the slab moved aside, creating an opening for me to slither into. My rifle caught the side of the frame, making a scraping sound which made every single one of my nerves light on fire. Scoffing at myself, I reached behind my back, grabbed the rifle, and tucked it in closer to me so I could fit in without any further trouble.

Little pricks danced along my skin as I took careful steps down the long hallway stretching in front of me. Cold air radiated from the metal walls, soaking into the exposed skin of my face and hands. Making fists, I preserved the head in my palms, trying to let my fingers borrow it for just a few moments. When the door slid itself closed behind me, the hall was cloaked in darkness. I couldn't see a damn thing to the left, or the right, or even dead ahead of me. I continued down the forward path, moving on the tips of my feet.

I almost took a tumble when, at the end of the pitch dark hallway, I encountered a stairway. On instinct, my arms reached out. My forearms smashed into the walls beside me, keeping me upright. I winced at the pain, but didn’t give myself time to pause, instead I put my foot forward to feel for the next step, moving on with feeling alone. The stairs were steeper than I expected them to be, but I made sure to keep my arms firmly planted on the walls. I’d like to at least find a Terminator before my neck gets broken.

After about twenty steps, I reached what felt like the bottom. The food evened out, and my arms had room to stretch out. A few more steps, and a loud click signalled a flood of lights right into my eyes. I blinked, moving a hand in front of my face to let my eyes rest. There are more clicks after that, each one a new light turning on and revealing the room.

Now able to see the room, I took a few steps forward. Everywhere I looked was a new contraption, each one more complicated than the last. Uncertainty got caught in my throat. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like any of it. The glossy machinery, the smell of death, and the faint dripping sound echoing from the right. I wanted to call it a day and run out as fast as I could, but I kept my feet planted. For TJ, for Imogen, and for Dani. I couldn’t go this far for them, just to bail when I got a shiver on my spine.

I willed my legs to move forward, despite how much they wanted to stay still. I couldn’t let myself be a scared little soldier, not when it was one of the only times I needed to be more. My legs moved me to the contraption that was closest to me. It was comprised of a series of metal tubes as thick as my neck wrapping around each other to form a desk-like base, with two skinny rods sticking up on each end. The closer I got to it, the more dust I saw coating the surface. With careful movements, I reached on to the centre tube, and wiped some of the dust off.

With a loud screech, a holographic screen appeared between the rods on each end of the contraption. The light was harsh and green, but I grimaced through it. It took me a few moments of staring directly at the contents of the screen, that I couldn’t read any of it. There were lines and lines of symbols, letters, and numbers. It was code.

But it wasn’t all human-made code. The symbols riddled within it weren’t any that were created and used by people. Were the machines developing their own language, in an attempt to throw humans off their scent even more than they always could?

In pure curiosity, I reached forward to touch the screen. To my surprise, it responded to my touch, pulling up a series of boxes on the screen, all titled in codes I didn’t understand. Without much of an idea what I was doing, I pressed the box on the top right. What I was greeted with caused my stomach to drop.

Radar images of Dani, me, Imogen, Sarah, Hadrell, the more I scrolled, the more photos I found. Most faces I recognized, some I didn’t. Each image was accompanied by a series of code that I couldn’t read, but I had to assume was any kind of information they found on us. I shook my head, backing out of that box to press another option, which was filled with blueprint photos. Sketches of our weapons and outlines of our scouting plans.

“The fuck…?” I whispered to myself.  _ That’s  _ how they had been sabotaging so many of our scouts. They’ve got access to our system. When I reached out to the screen once again, the radio on my hip started screeching at me. I jumped, almost slipping right out of my skin. Instead, I snatched the radio from my hip, “Imogen?”

Static, followed by, “... Grace? … Going… ‘n … there?”

I scoffed, Imogen was really trying to pull my leg, huh? “Funny, dumbass. I know we’re close enough so talk to me like a human, would you? What’s the issue?”

“I … hear… well…”

“Imogen?” I said into the radio, giving it a little shake.

“Grace… report… should … … there?” Her broken voice came in through the radio, cloaked in static.

The next time I opened my mouth, a spike of pain ripped through my body, and I let out a strangled cry right into the radio. The pain started flashing through my body, starting in the hand touching the radio, and pulsing out through to my chest and back. I took a step forward, bumping into the machine in front of me.

Imogen spoke into the radio again, but my head was spinning too fast for me to hear it. I clenched my hand onto the radio, refusing to let go. My whole body felt cold, then it hurt, my head spun over and over until… everything went black.

_ You taught us there is no fate, but what we make for ourselves. _

_ Dani, you are not the mother of some  _ man  _ who saves the future. You  _ are  _ the future. _

Ripping me from the vision, was a tear in my skin. With a lightning fast swipe, a set of metal claws tore into my back. I screamed, letting go of the radio and slumping forward. Spiraling, my head tried to grasp on to what was happening around me while reality blended with the faceless voice that echoed in my skull.

A hard metal hand gripped my shoulder, jerking me around so hard I wouldn’t be surprised if my shoulder came right out of its socket. I gasped, grabbing on to my shoulder to make sure it was where it should be. After popping it back into place, I flicked my eyes up to face the machine before me.

Glaring red eyes bore into mine, juxtaposed by slick black metal. It was an endoskeleton unlike any other I had seen, without any tendrils or extra limbs; it stood stoic and deadly. My mouth felt dry, head filled with moth balls. I wanted to speak, but it took me a few long moments to realize that I should be shooting rather than talking.

With loose hands, I scrambled to reach for the rifle slung to my back. My sweaty hands slipped on the smooth surface of the gun, and I struggled to keep it in place. It was heavier than the pistols and light assault weapons I was used to, making me sag under its weight. When I pressed down on the trigger, it just clicked.

Meanwhile, the machine before me started to morph and change. Liquid metal enveloped the robotic figure to make the basic shape of a human, then even further, the liquid began to take on more refined shapes, modelling hair, cheekbones, shoulder blades, until I was looking at…

Myself.

My own eyes, cold and lifeless, were staring into me. It was frightening, a near mirror-image of myself, copied and pasted onto metal. It took a step forward, copying my movements, down to the slight limp from my still recovering injury, with ease.

“Curiosity really does kill the human, doesn’t it?” My reflection said, sending my own voice right back to me. I had heard myself speak a few times on the comms, but was that really what my voice sounded like? In a moment of panic, I pointed the gun at the reflection of myself, but something about staring into my own eyes kept me from pulling the trigger.

“And thank your maker that you came down here.” It said, “because you just solved our biggest problem.”

I said nothing, I just stared at the machine wearing my face, itching to pull the trigger but not being able to bring myself to do it.

“Cat caught your tongue?” It said, “that’s okay. Now that I’ve got one, I’ll do the talking. Maybe I can explain how much of a helper you’ve been. How you have become the key that…” The machine struggled to remember what came next, and I started to practically vibrate in fear. It snapped it’s fingers, “the key that opens the door to your  _ precious  _ Commander.”

That slight vibration turned into full on trembling. My hand squeezed around the rifle, fingers finding the safety button.

“See, before now, we were truly stumped as to how we were going to finish off that Commander of yours, but you came in and gave us the solution.” The machine said, stepping forward. I took one step back, and clicked off the safety.

“Once I’m done ripping off your flesh, I’m going to use this little disguise to make my way back to your base,” The terminator explained, while extending its arm out. The skin that once resembled my hand morphed itself into a sharp blade of black metal, “cuddle up with your ever-so-trusting Commander, then  _ rip  _ her organs out one piece at a time.”

“No.” I said, struggling to keep the gun still.

It laughed back at me, a sound so sick and twisted, it didn’t deserve to be known as a laugh, “No? What makes you think you can stop me? All I see is a pathetic child quivering in boots that don’t belong to them.”

“I… I’m twenty.” I said, the words scraping my throat, “I’m not a child.”

“Child is not always an age,” the machine stepped forward, “but a mentality. Now, it is time to die.”

Just as the machine lunged at me, metal blade outstretched, a gunshot rang off. The momentum of a bullet hitting my copy’s chest caused it to jerk backwards, all while scratching my forehead with it’s flailing weapon. I gasped, turning around to see Imogen, gun raised, taking careful steps to find herself by my side.

I tried to say her name, but instead it came out as a gasp of breath. The augment sprung into action, patting me down to check for serious injuries, then stepped forward to create a wall between myself, and the Terminator.

“How did you know?” I asked.

Imogen lowered her gun to get a better look at the crumpled Terminator, “We heard you scream into the radio. Plus, this whole thing stank, I was waiting on standby just in case.”

“Thanks.” I said, forcing the air out of my lungs.

“Well, don’t thank-” A horrendous rip of flesh and metal sounded out before me, as the Terminator plunged it’s blade right into Imogen’s stomach.

After coughing blood in my face, Imogen fell to the ground, dropping like a rock. I froze, shocked from the inside out, as the machine got back on its feet, the bullet wound in its chest gone.

“You’ll have to do more than that.” The machine growled, then jumped at me once again. I acted faster than time, extending my rifle outwards to act as a barrier. It slammed into the machine’s chest forcing it back. With nimble fingers, I positioned the rifle against the hollow of my shoulder, pointing the barrel right at my copy’s chest.

The Terminator gritted it’s teeth, “Nice try. You don’t know how to use that.”

“What makes you say that?” I replied, standing over Imogen as she struggled to get back on her feet. At least she was moving. That alone sent relief flowing through my veins.

“If you could, you would have shot me by now.” It said, advancing towards me like a predator that has trapped its prey, but I didn’t budge. I kept my ground over Imogen as she struggled against her injury to stand up.

“I’m a quick learner.” I said, then squeezed the trigger. Unlike the pistol Imogen shot earlier, the heavy duty rifle I wielded fired red plasma ammunition. The whole gun felt hot as fire after the blast of radiation shot out of it, and the kickback sent my tumbling backwards, My head slammed against the metal flooring, and I felt it for just a second before my vision went black. 

  
  


When I opened my eyes again, I was somewhere completely different. My body was enveloped in sand, the coarse material digging into my hair and skin. I jumped up almost instantly, wiping my hands all over my body to get rid of the sand.

I was surrounded by beach everywhere I looked. It seemed as though it stretched on forever left, right, and behind me. The water ahead, though, was as smooth as glass, reflecting the purple and pink sunset like a mirror. There was no wind, I couldn’t smell the water, I couldn’t even feel any kind of temperature against my skin.

“Where…?” I said to myself, the sound echoing around me, bouncing around and penetrating my ears with a piercing force. I took a step forward in the sand, knowing that there  _ was  _ sand beneath me, but not being able to really feel it. Something didn’t feel right.

“Grace.” A voice came from behind me. I whipped around, and yet again, I was faced with a reflection of myself. But this one was different. Eerily different.

“How…” This new version of myself limped forward, “how are you seeing this?”

I was a bit too busy staring at my rotting complexion to answer the question.  _ This  _ mirror image of myself seemed a lot older than I was, by maybe 12 or 13 years, and had seen an unimaginable battle. Their skin was ripped off in many places, a few holes punctured in their skin, especially around the neck and wrists. Bits of exposed metal showed themselves from under these battle wounds, along with a honey coloured liquid that was blended in with the typically crimson blood. Among the scraped, burnt, ripped, and sliced flesh, there was a large hole in my reflection’s stomach, blood leaking from it.

“Who are you?” I asked.

“You.” ‘I’ said, which was the most obvious answer, “I’m you. But… from before now.”

Blinking, I struggled for words, “What does that even mean?”

“You aren’t the only Grace that has existed.” My reflection said, extending a ripped and wired arm out to me, “and you won’t  _ be  _ the only one to exist, either.”

“I’m in a coma, aren’t I?” I asked, “or dead. Probably dead.”

“Close.” ‘I’ said, “you’re in between-”

A loud explosion ripped through the air, kind of like an exaggerated gunshot. I looked around, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but looking into ‘my’ face, I could tell that something really wrong was happening.

“I need to act fast.” ‘I’ said, grabbing on to me with a death grip. I squirmed, trying to break loose. The mutilated version of myself spoke quickly, “I think you can stop this. I think you can change your fate so you don’t end up like I did, so the Grace that  _ you  _ are, isn’t the Grace that I was.”

Shaking my head, I tried to wake up from whatever kind of dream I was having, “I don’t understand.”

“Find the truth.” My reflection said, “you need to ask Dani to tell you-”

The next time I blinked, I woke up back in the underground Terminator hideout. Another few gunshots rang out, startling me back to reality. I grabbed my head, finding myself tucked away in the corner of the room as a battle waged around me. Imogen fired her pistol into the Terminator who was still wearing my face, it’s liquid wrapped around the bullets, disposing of them like nothing.

I groaned, rolling over until I felt myself sitting on the plasma rifle. The shock forced its way into my body, pumping adrenaline into my blood system and giving me the courage to get back on my feet.

Seeing me from the corner of her vision, Imogen turned back for just a moment, “Grace. Stay back, get out of here.”

“You can’t do this alone.” I said, straining my muscles to lift up the impossibly heavy rifle. The large hole in the Terminator’s side was clear enough evidence that the rifle was our best shot at taking the thing out. “Take this rifle, come on.”

“I’m right here, you know?” The Terminator said, it’s voice a little bit distorted from battle wounds. Without warning, it slashed a long metal arm blade at me, and I used the rifle to protect myself on instinct. Thank God it didn’t ruin the weapon; the only chance we have at killing this thing.

Using whatever kind of Augment strength Imogen had, she took a hold of the Terminator, and tossed it aside like a tacky piece of metal. While it was down, I tossed the rifle to Imogen, the person who could probably  _ use  _ the thing.

The rifle fired five shots right into the Terminator’s chest at Imogen’s hand. She didn’t hesitate, didn’t even think about it. The machine hissed and screeched, but finally, smoke pooled from the melting exo and endoskeleton. 

My breaths came out as gasps as I made my way over to where Imogen stood. We were both silent, frozen beside one another while watching the corpse of the Terminator melt away, leaving nothing but a mostly disintegrated carcass of metal.

Throwing the rifle on top of the ruined enemy, Imogen spoke, “You’re bleeding.”

“I’ll be fine.” I said through the pain, “you?”

Imogen reached down and patted the hole in her stomach, she then looked at the blood when she brought her hand up to eye level, “Just a scratch.”

If I had a tin of beans for every time she said that… I’d never go starving again.

“So…” Imogen turned to me, “what the fuck was that.”

“I don’t know.” I replied.

“How was it able to look just like you?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you know, Grace?” Imogen reached out and touched the cut on my head. I flinched, but let her do it. The question surfaced so many thoughts in my head. The visions, the Terminator, the base, their plans… they all led me to one source.

“I need to talk to Dani. Now.” I said.

Not looking the least bit surprised, Imogen nodded, “TJ is waiting outside for us. We best get moving.”

There was going to be a lecture waiting for me when I got back, an angry one, but I could take it. No matter how mad she was at me, it would be a relief to see her again after the last few bullshitty days. Not to mention the fact that I could take an earful if it meant I was going to get the answers I needed.


	19. The Frustration Of Secrecy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Grace's quest for the truth is interrupted yet again, and a heart-to-heart with Sarah causes them to spill some deep seeded emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda hate this lol, but I've been so busy with work, I'm lucky I actually have anything to present for y'all

The only sound I could hear was the slow drip of my blood on the carpet below me. I was normally not a big fan of silence; it made my head feel empty, and let my thoughts run loose.

But seeing as I was about to get the biggest verbal punishment of my entire life, I was alright with the silence for a few minutes. In fact, I started cramming my head with random thoughts, to distract myself from what was about to come. I found my mind wandering to the very place I was standing in. It was rather lucky that we had such a large and luxurious place to call our base of operations. 

When I first got here, I asked her how we had found the place. She told me that it was an old underground military base, which also acted as an emergency bunker for nuclear warfare, which would have been more useful, if the bombings weren’t so sudden. It was their loss for our gain, which made my stomach sick to think.

Dani’s office door opened, and Imogen took a step out into the hallway where TJ and I stood, waiting for our debriefing. I looked up to meet Imogen’s eyes, watching as she pursed her lips and shook her head. It wasn’t looking good for me. I nodded at her in response, and waited for my turn to be called in.

“Harper. Get in here,  _ now. _ ” Dani’s voice pierced through my beloved silence, making all of my bones tremble, and my breath falter. Her voice was deep, and grating through her throat. I hadn’t heard her that angry since a group of teenage boys let a Terminator into the compound. I gave TJ a reassuring smile before stepping into Dani’s office room.

Upon stepping in, I cringed at the sight before me. Dani was sitting at her desk, pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and index finger, and Sarah stood tall beside her. When I got within a few steps of Dani’s desk, I stopped, limbs hanging uselessly at my sides. I waited for the worst of it, for the yelling at the scolding, but Dani said nothing for a few long moments, which was definitely worse.

“The door.” Sarah said, her voice rasping. I sighed, turned at the hips, and reached over to shut the door. Once it latched shut, I twisted myself back around to face Sarah, and shrugged. In return, she tapped her cane on the floor a couple times, then turned and looked down to Dani.

I felt myself holding my breath as I looked at her too, then stared back at the floor, wanting to crawl into a tighter ball than her body resembled in that moment. When my lungs started to burn, I opened my mouth and took in a deep breath, and the sound of that signaled the explosion.

“You have zero idea how fucking furious it makes me to look at your face right now, Harper.” Dani said, the sharp edge of her voice slicing open my chest. She was still staring at her desk, unwilling to let her eyes fall upon the disgrace before her. I said nothing. She continued to speak, “I was terrified, Lieutenant. You’re hurt, and in no position to see the field. I didn’t sleep, didn’t eat, because I didn’t know if I was ever going to see your face again. And that makes me furious.”

“At no point,” Dani continued, folding her hands together, “did you think to just  _ listen  _ to me for a change, rather than acting like a stupid child with  _ rotten bread for brains _ ?” The shout that rippled from Dani’s throat was enough to radiate my kneecaps, but I kept myself on my feet.

The commander finally lifted her eyes, which were quivering with tears, “I do not understand this death wish of yours, and why it requires you to disregard each and every one of my orders, but it stops  _ now _ . Your disobedience is exhausting, and embarrassing. I would expect this from a child, not a young adult with the lives of others in their hands. 

You may have had a pass when you were a child, but I can’t stand by and let you piss all over me, my orders, and this organization.” Dani was seething. “Am I clear?”

“Yes, Commander.” I replied, trying to keep my voice steady.

Dani’s knee was bouncing so hard it was hitting the bottom of her desk, “You should be grateful that I don’t throw your ass out of this base for all the shit you’ve pulled.”

“Thank you, Commander.” I expected anger, but not the level of personal offense in her voice.

“You better thank me.” Dani said, “in fact, I should have you kiss my boots for the next half hour while I yell at you so hard your goddamn ears fall off.”

“Don’t blow your voice.” Sarah pitched in from her corner.

Dani whipped her head back, giving Sarah a glare I could not see, but could absolutely imagine, “Zip it.”

Sarah herself seemed rather shocked by the ferocity pointed at her. Dani was usually one to roll over whenever Sarah spoke to her, “Easy. The kid deserves a lecture, but don’t hurt  _ yourself  _ in the process.”

Turning back to me, Dani was fuming, “Either way, I want to make myself clear. If you  _ ever  _ disobey a direct order from me, no matter how big or small, you will be  _ demoted  _ back to a cadet and in charge of cleaning the toilets. Understood?”

“Yes, Commander.” I had never seen her so furious. It was so out of the normal for her that my mind had doubts about who she was, or _what_ she was. That Terminator... it showed me how possible it was for those Things to infiltrate us, but I shook off the paranoia. If this wasn't the real Dani, it would have probably killed me by now.

“Good.” Dani sighed, “now get the hell out of my sight, you’re bleeding on my carpet.”

“But, Commander.” I butted in, feeling my opportunity slip away, “there’s something important I want to-”

“I said  _ get out _ ,” Dani’s voice ripped through me, “I don’t want to hear it, and I don’t want to see your face for the rest of the day.”

There it went. There went my opportunity to demand the truth from Dani, to tell her what I’ve seen, and not leave until I got the answers I wanted. If I tried now, I’d be screamed out of the room. Against my will, the heat swirled in my chest, begging for me to scream and let it all out, but I didn’t. Instead, I lifted my eyes to look right into Dani’s.

The Commander froze, staring right over my eyes, to the cut on my forehead that was dripping down my cheek. She looked like she was staring at a ghost. I furrowed my eyebrows, causing the cut to sting and a hiss to escape my lips.

“What happened?” Dani asked, her eyes glued to my cut.

Confused, I paused for a moment, “Didn’t Holmes debrief you on the situation?”

“She told me what happened,” Dani said, “but you didn’t. What the hell is that?”

“It’s just a cut,” I defended, not knowing what the fuss was about, “the Terminator cut me when I was fending it off. After I found data logs on you and some of the other soldiers, it-”

“Wait,  _ what _ ?”

I blinked, “Didn’t Holmes tell you?”

Dani groaned, pinching her nose harder than before, “She just said that you found data points. She didn’t say what was in them.”

“It was information on all of us.” I said, “Satellite and drone images, some files they must have hacked from our system, I mean… I couldn’t read whatever it was, it looked like it was in some code that I couldn’t understand.”

With her right hand, Dani tapped her finger against her desk, thinking over what I had said. Meanwhile my chest was boiling, muscles twitching and straining for me to have a complete breakdown. I had shit I needed to say, but Dani decided to shoo me out of the room, only interested in keeping me around because of a little cut on my head. I needed to get out of there, because if I tried her again, I’d say something that would get me demoted.

“That’s going to scar.” Dani said, bewildered.

“Um…” I looked to Sarah, who was giving me a look I couldn’t quite understand, “yeah, probably.”

Dani, still in shock, continued to stare at my forehead. Meanwhile, I was starting to shift my weight and wiggle my fingers, anything to disperse the energy in my chest without exploding.

“Can I go now?” I asked through gritted teeth, with a chest so tight I wanted to scream, “I need to shower.”

I could see how heavily Dani swallowed, “Fine, but don’t be in there too long. Water has been tight around here lately.”

Without another word, I spun on my heels, and left the room as fast as I could. Out in the hallway, I slammed my fist on the wall, furious with myself in particular. I let my submission block my way to the truth.

A shower would be nice to wash the anger and shame off of my back. I brushed past TJ, who tried to stop me, but I blocked him out of my mind. The only thing I could care about was the fury burning just under my lungs, and how a cold shower should be enough to put out the flames in my heart. My breaths got caught in my throat, struggling against the weight of my ribs.

When I reached the shower room, I slammed the door open with one arm. There were two other soldiers in there, one of them kneeling on the bench completely naked, while the other sat to her left and looked at her as she spoke. I tried to keep my eyes away from the woman’s naked frame as I walked towards an empty shower stall.

My hands shook as I started undressing, peeling off every individual layer of clothing, most of which were blood soaked. After I pulled off my shirt, I noticed the girls in the corner stopped talking, and despite having my back turned to them, I knew they were watching me. I could feel their eyes boring into my torn flesh. 

Once my clothes were off, I ducked into the stall and closed the curtain as fast as I could, blocking everything else out. The cold water splashed on my head, then trickled down my shoulders and down my bare breasts and stomach, causing my muscles to ripple and shiver; I invited the feeling, tucking myself under the flow of the water.

I could already feel the water cooling down the burning heat in my chest, so much so that it felt like I was breathing fire with every exhale. I welcomed the numbness that the cold water brought to my limbs, and in that nothingness, I practiced what I would say to Dani.

“I’m ready now. Tell me the truth, Dani.”

“You’re hiding something from me, Dani. I deserve to know.”

“Something weird has been happening to me, Dani, and something tells me you know what it’s about.”

“Dani, please tell me the truth. I’m scared.”

“Not any more scared than she is, Lieutenant.” A voice came from outside the shower. I yelped, almost slipping on the wet tiles below me. In a panic, I shut the water valve off, and stepped out of the shower stall.

Sarah Connor stood there waiting, the other two women gone, “Nice tits, Lieutenant. Cold shower this time around?”

Suddenly aware of just how  _ naked  _ I was in front of Sarah Connor, my whole body stiffened.

“Relax.” The old bag said, “I’m not judging.”

“Then what do you want?” I asked, keeping my arms glued to my sides in discomfort. Despite her ‘no judging policy,’ Sarah was sure to look me up and down, with her eyes widening and narrowing with every few inches of my body she saw.

“I came to talk to you.” Sarah said, “and about what happened in that office room.”

Scoffing, I stepped forward, looking for a towel, “You can tell Dani that if she wants to talk to me, she can do it herself, not send a helper.”

“Dani didn’t send me.” Sarah said, amused, “she thinks I’m looking in on a Revball practice session right now.”

It didn’t make any sense, “Why did you come?”

“Because,” Sarah sighed, “I wanted to hear what you had to say back there. You know, before Dani kicked you out. You said it was important.”

Now things  _ really  _ didn’t make sense. It took a few moments for me to formulate an answer, “I, um… don’t know why you would want to.” It seemed like every time I opened my mouth, Sarah found a new creative way for me to shut it again.

“Let’s just say that you’ve caught my curiosity.” The older woman said, leaning on her cane while she stretched her back out. Watching her made mine itch.

I narrowed my eyes, “How so?”

“I wanna know what you’re fussing about.” Sarah said, “now quit the stalling and spill the beans, I need a nap.”

Defeated, I puffed a breath out of my lips, “Fine. Okay.” Without thinking about it, I looked past Sarah at the bathroom doors. Was this the kind of shit I wanted to say if anyone could just  _ walk in _ ? First, they’d probably think I sounded like a maniac, and second, getting caught talking about Dani in such a casual manor would make anyone suspicious of special treatment.

Sarah followed my sight to the door, then limped over and flicked the lock shut with her shaking hand, “Better?”

“Better,” I nodded, “thank you.”

A patient Sarah sat down on the shower bench, leaning forward on her cane, “Going to get dressed, or chit chat with me with it all hanging out?”

My face burned, and I grabbed a folded towel from the rack beside me. It would have to do until I got some new, non-ripped clothes. Wrapping the warm fabric around me cloaked me in a feeling of exhaustion.

“You have to promise,” I started, “that you won’t think I’m crazy when I say this.”

“I hear what I hear, kid.” Sarah replied. I gave her a withering stare in response.

The older woman struggled to keep a laugh down, “I’ll do what I can.”

Taking what I could get, I nodded, “I… heard something that made no sense. I mean, I also saw something that didn’t make sense, but the first one made a bit less sense than the second one. This isn't really new, either. The first time I told Dani about it, she had a whole freak out and so did I and we kinda fought over it.”

Sarah seemed to understand the situation, “I remember that.”

“So you remember what Dani said?” I started getting excited.

“I don’t remember that much,” Sarah said, “my precise memory isn’t what it used to be.”

I frowned, “I told her that I was hearing voices in my head. Voices of her, and me, but of situations that haven’t happened.” The memory of mine and her voices rippling through my head made a pain radiate through my skull.

Sarah looked a little bit lost, “What do you mean by that?”

“Back in that base,” I scratched the back of my head, “I heard myself talking to Dani. I said that she was the future, and something about fate. Before that I heard Dani saying that she would let herself get shot, but she wouldn’t watch me die.”

Sarah’s eyes widened. She was remembering something, “Right… I think I remember that now.”

“You remember more than just those few weeks ago.” I said, “don’t you?”

Sarah sighed, tapping her cane against the floor while she stared at it, “Yes.”

My heart did several backflips, pounding against my chest so hard that it hurt. In disbelief, I stepped forward, unable to grasp words for a long time, “Tell me.”

The old woman’s expression soured, “Tell you what?”

“Everything.” I replied, “tell me everything. If you know, I need you to give me the truth, because Dani won’t, and I don’t know why.”

Sarah cleared her throat, “Well, she has a reason for that.”

All of the hope I had came crashing down. I had gotten this far, just to get turned away from my destiny once again, “Oh, fuck that. Don’t give me the same bullshit that Dani did, about how I’m ‘not ready’ for the truth.”

“You’re not.” Sarah smacked her cane on the floor once again, as though she was stomping her foot down.

“Yes, I am.” My anger was seething out. “I stormed that Terminator base and found their secrets to  _ show  _ that I’m ready for the truth.”

Sarah’s growl echoed in the room, “And you almost got yourself killed. It was a pathetic attempt, really.”

I almost smacked her, but controlled myself, “But I  _ did it.  _ When everyone else ran with their tails tucked between their legs, I  _ did it. _ ”

“They left because that was their Commander’s orders.”

“What good are orders,” I said, “if they get in the way of thwarting our enemy. I at least had the balls to do something. I had the courage to do something other than flee, and because of that, I am ready.”

“Being ready has  _ nothing _ to  _ do  _ with having the balls.” Sarah shouted, rising to her feet faster than I had ever seen her before. She held a tight grip on her cane as she glared at me, “this kind of ‘ready’ isn’t about the combat or the bloodshed, it’s about your mind.”

“My…?” I reeled.

“This is the kind of thing you need to be  _ mentally  _ ready for.” Sarah continued, clearing her throat, “you need to be  _ mature,  _ and be able to hand it, and seeing as  _ this  _ is how you act… you aren’t ready for a damn thing.”

My eyes stung. I looked down and dug my thumb and forefinger into my eyes, stopping the flow of tears before Sarah could see them, but my sniffle was probably a dead giveaway.

The older woman sighed, “I’m sorry, Grace, but Dani knows what she’s doing. You have to trust her, because she loves you.”

My whole body tingled, “I… I love her too.”

Sarah was silent for a moment, “Dani loves everyone here, especially you.”

Without thinking, I kept speaking, “No. I think I’m  _ in love with her. _ ”

“ _ Oh _ .” Sarah said, “well, there’s a lot to unpack there.”

“And it just hurts,” the words were just spilling out of me. I couldn’t control them, as much as I tried, “that she sees less of me, that she thinks I’m not ready for this.”

Sarah tapped her cane on the floor, getting my attention, “She doesn’t think less of you. It’s quite the opposite. You’re important to her, and she can’t risk losing you.”

“Then  _ why _ -”

A rumble shook the floor as the lights in the bathroom went out. I could hear Sarah gasp, and swear under her breath, before the lights blinked back on. Sarah and I looked at each other.

“Earthquake?” I offered.

To prove me wrong, the attack sirens started blaring through the base, piercing through my ears. The base was under siege 

“Get your clothes on.” Sarah shuffled to the door, unlocking it.

“Again?” I groaned, “can’t a soldier have an emotional conversation in peace?”


	20. The Big Boom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein the Terminators plan another attack on the base, and things get ugly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry it's been so long between chapters, my brain has just been so hectic lately. Anywho, I have a big surprise at the end of the chapter for y'all, so make sure you stick around for the end of the chapter to see what's in store! Thank you all once again for your patience, and I hope you enjoy :D

Another rumble shook the floor as Sarah and I hurried down the hallway leading to Dani’s office. I stayed behind the older woman, having her back to keep her moving at a relatively quick pace, and to have her back to help her if she fell.

“What is happening?” I struggled to be heard over the blaring sirens.

Sarah kept moving at an admirable speed, despite her condition, “You know just as much as me.”

Dust trickled down from the roof, tickling my nose and making a violent sneeze rip through my throat. Sarah voices her displeasure with my snot on the back of her neck before we turned the corner, and almost slammed right into Dani herself.

The Commander looked confused seeing us both together, but then she quickly snapped out of it, “Terminators. They’re attacking the base again.”

Sarah didn’t hesitate, “How many?”

“Rowley and Wallace said they could spot fifteen, maybe even twenty.”

I gasped without meaning to. We hadn’t seen an attack like that before; not directly on the base, that was.

“Get as many bodies and rifles out there as you can.” Sarah said, “we need to make a wall and push them back before we try to wipe them out. I’ll get my gear on.”

Dani blinked, “I can’t let you go out there.”

“How exactly are you going to stop me?” Sarah nodded when she went uncontested.

Feeling a bit useless in the back, I stepped up, “I’ll get ready, too.”

At the exact same time, Dani and Sarah said, “No.”

I groaned, slumping my shoulders. The last thing I wanted to do was aggravate Dani, after she made her intentions of punishment  _ abundantly  _ clear, but at the same time I needed to do  _ something _ , “Come on. I’m a soldier here, too. Please don’t make me feel useless here.”

“You’re injured,” Dani said, “an injured soldier is just as useless on the field as they are in the bunks.”

“But-”

“Look, kid.” Sarah but in, “I’ve seen too many kids in my life die. First, it was my son. I don’t really want you to be the next.”

The sincerity in Sarah’s voice froze my chest. I felt my heart tug as my shoulders crumpled down. The idea of knowing this entire base, my safehaven of nine years, was under attack, and I wasn’t allowed to do  _ anything  _ to stop it hurt, but the fact that going out there could not only hurt Dani, but  _ Sarah _ , a woman who hates me most days? That stung in a much stronger way.

Dani sighed, “If you really want to help, join the guards up on the watchtower. It keeps you out of trouble, but gives you a little use. Now make up your mind, as you can tell, we don’t have a lot of time to chat.”

Another rumble shook the three of us. Dani’s compromise was the best I was going to get, and arguing would just get me in deeper shit than I wanted to be. I wanted to get myself  _ off  _ her shit list, not get myself higher up, “Okay. Yeah, that works.”

“Glad you’re happy now.” Sarah’s sarcasm made me roll my eyes, “now let’s move, for the safety of this base.”

We travelled down the hallway together, only breaking up when I reached the surveillance tunnel. It was a shortcut designed to get soldiers up to the scouting tower as fast as possible from deep within the base, if ever there was an emergency; like there was that very moment.

Sarah and I exchanged nods before I got on to my hands and knees to squeeze into the tunnel. For post people, it was roomy enough to be comfortable, but at my staggering height, I wasn’t most people. Only once or twice had I ever needed to take the tunnel up to the tower, but they were both when I was an early teen, not quite growing into my full height just yet. As tactically adept as being six feet tall made me, I did often wish I was smaller again.

I reached the end of the crawlspace, grabbing on to the ladder before a loud boom shook the tunnel around me. I was lucky that the tunnel was plated with steel, or I would have a very real threat of the whole thing collapsing on me. Everyone else in the base wasn’t so lucky, though. Whatever they were assaulting the base with couldn’t be taken lightly if it was enough to tremble the very foundation of our tactical base. My knees shook as I started to climb up the ladder, scared as to what I might find when I reached the top. Chaos? Pandemonium? Maybe just a valley of death and destruction.

My fist ached as I slammed it against the metal above me, requesting access to the scouting platform. I was let up rather quickly, to my surprise. Rowley’s hand extended to pull me up and onto the wood.

“Ramos send backup?” He said to me, “about time. You take the telescope. I’ve been itching to use the cannon ever since the alarm went off.”

I nodded and shuffled forward until I was greeted with the view below. 

The main entrance to the base was located at the bottom of a massive chasm, walls stretching so high up that anyone who fell down from them would probably go  _ through _ the ground below once they hit it. Yet, despite this location being chosen as a form of camouflage, The Terminators found it anyway. Rows and rows of machines marched in from each side of the chasm while drones flew overhead, shooting down at the scrambling human soldiers below.

I was standing in the Beta Scouting Platform, which was meant for watching over the main entrance, was carved into the chasm wall. To my sides and back was mossy rock and dirt, making me feel rather humid despite the breeze of cold air coming from the outside.

“Harper.” Wallace called, “get your ass on the telescope. You’re in charge of updating us, and the troops below on any incoming Terminator reinforcements. Keep an eye on every kill and every bot.”

“O-on it.” I scrambled to the telescope, pressing my eyes to the lens to get a better look below. Our troops clashed with unflinching Terminators as bombs assaulted the battlefield from above. Plasma blasts and screams berated my senses as I tried to keep track of what was below.

“Rowley.” The Commander’s voice crackled through a radio, “what’s the status up there?”

Up on the cannon’s seat, Rowley flicked on his side of the radio, “We got your reinforcement,” he looked to me, “so thank you for that. It seems like there are still Metals pouring in from each side. But don’t worry, as soon as this cannon fires up, there won’t be any left.”

Dani’s voice took on a level of irritation, “Just don’t hit any of our own. Use Harper to help you get a good look at the view down below. They have a good eye; don’t let it go to waste.”

I felt my cheeks burn, but tried to act as chill as I could while Rowley responded with, “Already done, Commander. Let’s drive out these pests.”

Leaning over the telescope was starting to take a toll on my back. First, my broken spine wasn’t in tip-top shape just yet, and the large slash from that Terminator was still wrapped in gauze. Beside me, Wallace drifted his eyes from the field to watch my squirm in discomfort.

“Broken soldier put on scout duty, huh?” He said, then reached down to pull up his pant leg, revealing a metal mass acting as his left leg. “Welcome to the club.”

I gave him a smile to show I appreciated his welcoming behavior, then I looked over at Rowley, “What about him?”

“Fractured hip,” Wallace explained, “one of those motherfuckers stomped on him.”

Cringing, I imagined how shitty it must have felt to have a solid 400-pound machine slamming it’s foot down on me. He was lucky to have survived that.

“ _ Harper _ .” Rowley snapped, “you heard the Commander. I need eyes telling me where to shoot.”

“Right. I’m on it.” I brought my eye back up to the telescope, watching the little blobs of color turn into distinctive shapes. Things didn’t look good from up above, and they would only get worse unless we could do something to push the machines back.

“They have our troops pressed against the door.” I said, “we can barely chew through their forces before they just pile more machines on. I don’t know what kind of rounds that thing fires, but I’d keep it around twenty feet from the door, to avoid any internal damage.”

Sounding impressed, Rowley clicked on the cannon, “Good work, Newbie. Now let’s get fired up.”

Wallace yanked my shoulder, causing me to spin away from the telescope. With one hand over his left ear he shouted, “Sorry, but cover your ears!”

Without much question, I did as he told just moments before rounds of ammunition started exploding out of the cannon just a few feet beside us. The wooden platform separating us from slick stone was vibrating with each shot, to the point where I felt like it was about to crack below us. I grabbed on to the railing in front of me, trying to brace myself on something as everything around me shook and trembled with the power of the cannon.

The sound was still violating my ears, despite my efforts to block it out. I didn’t know how Rowley handed it without a care. In fact, he was smiling more than I had known was possible while the machines below were met with the onslaught of gunfire.

When I looked out into the sky, I saw a large black dot levitating far above the ravine’s opening. I squinted at it, not sure what to make of it until a slim, dark figure fell out of it, and landed in the battlefield that was seeing a large drop in Terminator numbers. A dropship.

Looking over at Rowley, I tried to shout over the cannon fire to get his attention, but it was to no avail. His work with the cannon was showing, and his efforts, along with a dragonfly ship above, was working to turn this battle in our favor. But it wasn’t over yet.

I grabbed a small pebble and threw it Rowley’s way, risking uncovering an ear to the onslaught of artillery fire. The trigger-happy soldier stopped his fire and turned to face me, “Now what the fuck was that for?”

I pointed to the Terminator dropship without a word.

Rowley’s wicked smile grew back on his face as he pointed the cannon at the Terminator dropship, “Cut off their reinforcements, and they’re nothing, eh?”

“Careful! You don’t want it to-”

But it was already too late. Several rounds of cannon fire burst from the weapon beside me, and tore into the side of the Terminator ship. Sparking, the hunk of metal dropped right out of the air, falling to the battlefield below and exploding upon contact with the ground. 

The shockwave was enough to reach even as high up as we were, blowing hot air into my face. I reeled back, gasping at just the sheer size of the explosion below. For a few moments, I just laid there, not sure how to process what just happened, but then it all clicked in my mind: Sarah and Dani were down there.

I sprang up in an instant, causing my back to burn, and grabbed on to the telescope. The smoke still plumed out from the wreckage, blocking my vision. I cursed to the stupid telescope and tried to get a better view. The first thing I saw was plasma bullets breaking from the heavy black smoke, striking down a few remaining terminator soldiers trying to push through the carnage.

As the smoke started to clear, I got a better view of the aftermath. A view I wished I hadn't seen.

Blood soiled the dirt and mud surrounding limp bodies. Some were riddled with shrapnel, others were missing limbs, or chunks of their bodies. Everyone was  _ just  _ too far away for me to analyze faces, but there were enough bodies amongst the crash to stir worry in my stomach.

I looked over to Rowley, who looked pale with fear, “What the fuck is the matter with you?” I shouted.

“Me?” Rowley snapped out of his shock, “you told me to shoot at it.”

“I just pointed it out to you. If you could’ve held back for  _ ten seconds _ , I would have told you to be careful so that it  _ didn’t  _ crash into our own people.”

Rowley sat silent, the look of horror on his face didn’t flush away. I didn’t have time to yell at him anymore, as my own fear started to bubble up my throat. While trying not to puke, I fled from the Scout deck over to the ladder, trying to find my way out as fast as I could. 

As I ran, the only thing I could think of was poor Dani among the carnage, her arm or leg torn off in a bloody, violent-

No. I couldn’t think about that, as the vomit in my stomach gurgled at just the thought. I had seen some shit in my life. I’ve seen blood, pain, suffering, death, all from people I loved and cared about the most. It seemed like no matter the carnage, though, I just couldn’t get over the horror of it all. I was still soft despite living half my life in war and ruin. But, to be honest, I’d rather be soft than a lifeless monster, like the scavengers that killed my father.

I got to the front gate to find it open, medics pouring out now that the Terminator threat has been taken care of, for now…

My boots sank into the mud with each step I took, ignoring the rain pattering on my head as I trudged through the thick slop beneath me. When the brown mud started to swirl with red liquid, I felt my heart plummet, and I kept my eyes up to look for the familiar face I  _ needed  _ to see.

Before long, I found it. Dani was doubled over, gasping, but it didn’t seem like she was critically injured. When my eyes locked on to her, I found myself screaming her name without even thinking about it.

The Commander looked up, locking eyes with me, “Grace!” We ran to each other, trudging through the mud and the blood, dodging a severed arm and chunks of metal until we met, colliding in a hug that almost knocked the wind out of me.

“Are you okay? Hurt?” I asked when I pulled back, patting her cheeks, shoulders, ribs, hips. Her clothes were wet from the rain, but my hands came back without any blood on them. Relief came pulsing through my veins.

“I’m okay.” Dani assured, “you?”

“Yeah.” I said, nodding up to where the Scout tower was, “staying out of reach has its perks, after all.”

Dani smiled at me, and I smiled back, realizing that my hands were still resting on her hips. She didn’t seem to mind, though, resting her own hands on my shoulders. Her hands were so cold against the heat of my skin, but I loved it anyway, not wanting her to let me go.

She did, however, when a familiar cry came from the rubble. My head turned to see what the noise was, to see a crumpled form desperately trying to crawl on to their knees. 

Dani let out a small gasp, “Sarah!”

Oh God. I followed Dani’s lead while making our way over to Sarah’s weakened body. She was turned away from us, her body curled into itself while she writhed in the mud. The fabric along her arm was torn, with little shards of metal having planted themselves in her skin.

“Sarah!” Dani cried, “are you okay? Please tell me you’re okay.”

The old bag flinched, but kept her back to us, “I… I’m f-fine, kid.” Her voice was weak, gurgling against her throat.

Dani knelt beside the crumpled Sarah, “Turn around, show me.”

“No.” Sarah rasped, “I’m fine.”

There wouldn’t be any way to convince Dani. Against Sarah’s wishes, Dani grabbed the woman’s shoulder, and, apologizing for the pain she caused, flipped Sarah over to face the both of us. The second I saw Sarah’s face, the air in my lungs drained out as if I had gotten punched in the stomach.

The left side of Sarah’s face was riddled with shrapnel; a handful of fingernail sized metal shards dug into her eyebrow, cheek, chin and nose, with a much larger shard sticking straight out of her eye. Blood dripped down most of her face, trickling out of each wound like a faucet, while a clump of aqueous humour drenched the shard in her eye, and oozed down her cheek.

Dani was completely silent in her horror, just staring at Sarah’s mangled face. I, on the other hand, hit my breaking point, and puked on my boots.

\---

For the next several hours, the infirmary was bursting at the seams with bustling people. Nurses, surgeons, wounded soldiers, all restless as they scrambled from corner to corner. Among them was Dani Ramos, chatting with the doctors and checking in on recovering soldiers, and keeping her head held high while she did so. From an empty bed, I watched as Dani listened to a wounded soldier speaking, her face carrying a thoughtful expression, one that I found myself starting to get lost in.

“Harper?” A doctor snapped me out of my trance, “are you waiting on a physical?”

I blinked, tearing my eyes away from Dani to address the woman speaking to me, “Uh, no. I’m actually waiting for Connor to get out of her surgery.”

Sarah was one of the first soldiers to get rushed into the operation room, what with the blood and metal and whatnot. She needed a blood transfusion, a thousand pounds of antibiotics, and a good pair of tweezers, all of which she refused to get until they were forced to put her under. It was almost as if the stubborn bag  _ wanted  _ to bite the dust.

The doctor nodded, then left my line of sight, allowing me to focus back on Dani, who was checking the IV of a soldier whose face was filled with stitches. I could see the way her eyes twitched to the side, surveying me with her peripheral vision; I knew that she could see me watching her, but she still chose to ignore me. Dani had said one word to me since we found a mutilated Sarah on that field, which was ‘stay.’ I was her little dog, waiting at Sarah’s empty bed until she returned, hopefully lacking most to all of the metal embedded in her face and arm. Really, the woman was lucky with what she got. On my way to the bathroom, I saw the medics loading a body completely shredded by metal into the blast furnace. The thought made me shiver.

After finishing her work on the IV, Dani turned to me, and started heading my way. I felt myself start to wiggle, as if I had a dog’s wagging tail, excited to hear Dani’s voice. Well, the version of her voice that wasn’t screaming her disappointment in me.

Dani stopped just a foot short of the bed, analyzing the empty bed beside me, “Have they said anything about when Sarah may come out of surgery?”

I shook my head, “No.”

The Commander let out a grunt of disappointment, then turned on her heels and began making her way to another bed.

Blinking, I rose to my feet, “Hey, wait a second.”

Dani didn’t even turn around, just looked at me over her shoulder, “Yes?”

“You-” I scrambled for the words, taken by how sudden and curt Dani was acting. “You can’t just ignore me, Dani. I know I pissed you off, but I need to talk to you.”

“I’m not ignoring you,” Dani said, “I’m just busy.”

“Then turn and face me.” I said.

With a sigh, Dani spun back around and faced me, “Better?”

“Yes.”

“Well then hurry up. Because I really  _ am  _ busy.”

“I know.” I said, “but we need to talk about earlier.”

Dani shook her head, “What is there left to say?”

Irked, I let my fingernails dig into my arm, “This has the second direct attack on the base within months. The Terminators know we’re here, and they won’t stop until they kill us or drive us out, so we need to go. We need to find a new base of operations.”

Looking like I had slapped her right across the face, Dani opened her mouth, then closed it again, and began to walk away.

“H-hey!” I shouted, lunging to her, “don’t ignore me when you know I’m right.”

Dani snorted and continued to walk to another bed, “Don’t be so pigheaded. I’m ignoring you because what you’re saying isn’t worth my time.”

My jaw cracked open, “ _ What I’m saying  _ is how these people aren’t safe.  _ What I’m saying  _ is that we need to leave here before they lead an ambush that’ll kill us all.”

Dani sputtered to a halt, hypothetical smoke pluming out of her ears, “We won’t have any better luck moving. We have a thousand residents here, tons of rachines, and expensive medical equipment that we have no way of transporting.”

The angry Commander jabbed her finger into my chest, that angry-disappointed voice surfacing again, “So, even if we  _ could  _ find a new and equally secure place to hold all these people and even more equipment, it would take us weeks, if not months to move it all there, and then we’d get picked apart while making our way there. We would have no defenses, no shelter, just a few thousand people stranded in the fields. At least here, we have a fighting chance.”

I grit my teeth, trying to keep my rage coiled in my chest. She was right. Well, right  _ enough _ . I didn’t agree, but there wasn’t anything I could say that could overrule that. The Terminators knew  _ everything  _ about us; I saw all the data and intel they had gathered or stolen about the base. I itched to tell her off, but instead let her continue to stare me down.

“Don’t waste any more of my time.” Dani said, “come get me when Sarah gets out of surgery, but that is  _ it.  _ You’re still on my shit list.”

And I had a feeling I would be for a long time. When Dani turned her back on me once again, I made my way back to Sarah’s empty bed with heavy bones. When I sat down on the stiff mattress, I buried my face in my sweat slicked hands, and let my tired eyelids close. The sound of panic and beeping around me didn’t distract my focus as I tried to steady myself, and my breaths. I felt the heat of the anger leave me with each hot breath that bounced off my palms and back into my face.

I kept my face hidden for so long that everything around me had started to fade and disappear, and my grip on the passage of time went along with it, so when I heard Sarah’s gravelly voice break through the faded hubbub, my whole body tensed and prepared for a fight.

“Relax, kid. Don’t strain yourself.” The old woman’s voice was broken and scratchy, “also, get off my bed.”

My eyes needed a few moments to adjust to the harsh light, but when my eyes could focus, I felt my stomach drop at what I saw. Sarah Connor, a woman that, despite her age, usually looked unbreakable, was shattered. Her face was covered in stitches and bruises, with a bright blush spreading on her cheeks, and a dirty string of gauze wrapped around her head, fortified around her right eye.

“Oh,” I said, shooting to my feet, “right.”

Sitting on the chair resting against the bed, I watched as a nurse helped Sarah off of the gurney, and let her settle into the hospital bed.

The old woman groaned as she settled into the bed, moving a hand to fix whatever mess the bandages caused in her greying hair. Her trembling fingers picked at ruffled locks while Sarah pretended to not notice I was watching, but I was, and I was eager to step in and help her.

“Want me to take care of that?” I asked, eyeing the explosion of displaced hair underneath the thin layer of gauze.

“No.” Sarah replied, “... but I wouldn’t mind a little distraction.”

I squinted my eyes at her, lost.

“This shit is killing me, kid,” Sarah said, “my face feels like it’s being burned with hot irons. Now, normally the sound of your voice drives me insane, but nothing could be worse than this, so just get talking, okay?”

Looking down, I couldn’t let Sarah see my blush as I scrambled to find what to say, “Well… what do you want me to talk about?”

“Anything, kid.” Sarah’s usual annoyance crept into her voice.

“Uh…” I mumbled through a few thoughts, “Dani’s ignoring me right now, so that’s nice.” Of course, the only thing I could think of despite the situation was  _ Dani _ . It was always Dani.

“That because you told her how madly in love with her you were?” Sarah asked, monotone.

My cheeks must have looked as red as hers did in that moment, “I did  _ not  _ say I was ‘madly’ in love with her.”

“Eh, pretty much.” Sarah grumbled, clearly enjoying my suffering.

“I regret telling you that.” I grabbed a fistful of my own hair.

“You should.” Sarah said, “but I’m not telling anyone about it.”

Without looking up I said, “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Heavy yet distinct footfalls caught my ears, and I looked up to see Dani making her way towards us, looking flustered, “Sarah!  _ Como te sientes? _ ”

“I’m fine.” A gentler tone came over Sarah, “just a little banged up.”

Dani almost laughed, “ _ A little banged up _ ? Look at your- oh, your eye.”

Sarah’s mouth wobbled, “They had to take the whole thing out, was smashed to bits, and goo. Ugly stuff, really.”

The Commander let a sad smile settle on to her lips, “ _ Se honesta conmigo. _ ”

“ _ Estoy bien _ .” Sarah returned a gentle look, “ _ promesa _ .”

Dani lifted her chin, analyzing Sarah before deciding to let it go, “Can I get you anything? A drink or a snack?”

“Bourbon would be nice.” Sarah said.

Dani gave a disapproving look.

“Alright fine, I’ll have some water.”

“That’s more like it.” Dani turned to leave.

“-But I want Grace to get it.” Sarah said, locking eyes with me. I gave her a shrug, but she kept a sharp look on me, jerking her head over to where the water cooler was. I gritted my teeth.

“Why?” Dani took a few steps towards the bed, where she was getting closer and closer to being eye-level with me.

Sarah scratched at the bandage on her cheek, “‘Cause Mommy and Daddy need to have a discussion, one that Grace doesn’t need to hear.”

Dani gave her a knowing look, while I gawked at the pure audacity of  _ grandma  _ over there. I looked between Dani and Sarah, waiting for the order to be given by my  _ actual  _ Commander.

“You heard the woman.” Dani said to me, “get her some water, will you?”

I groaned, getting to my feet and shaking my head as I stepped past Dani, not bothering to look back at Sarah, who I knew was watching me. There was no way the conversation wasn't about me, because if it wasn’t, they could have let me stay. Did Sarah lie, and was she really going to tell Dani about my vulnerable confession in that shower room.

Feeling my stomach drop, I shuffled down to the small water cooler in the corner, thinking of anything that wasn’t Sarah ratting out my deepest secret. The old woman was an asshole, sure, but she wasn’t a gossip; she knew what was her business, and what wasn’t.

The water glugged from the tub on the cooler, reminding me just how dry my mouth was. Once the small plastic cup was filled, I chugged it down in under a second. The water had a terrible taste, one that would normally make me cringe, if I wasn’t so used to it. I never quite knew where we got our water from, mostly because Dani convinced me to stop asking years ago.

I took another chug of water and looked back at Sarah and Dani, who both caught me watching, then stopped their conversation to stare at me. Rolling my eyes, I went back to pouring Sarah some more water.

The hustle of the infirmary made my skin crawl with unease, prickling and stinging as if a thousand little needles poked me over and over like the needles and IVs that were keeping dozens of severely wounded soldiers alive. For as much time as I spent there with preventable injuries, I hated the infirmary with all my heart.

Bad smells, dirty walls, dying soldiers… there was nothing to love, or even like, about the infirmary. If I had to spend all my time there, I’d off myself before long.

Dani’s footsteps caught my attention, and I turned just in time for Dani to be right in front of my chest. The smaller woman took a few steps back until I couldn’t feel her breaths pushing my shirt against my skin anymore.

“Finish your little talk, Commander?” I asked.

“As a matter of fact, yes,” Dani replied, “and I need you to come with me.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, “Wha- wait why?”

Dani jerked her head, “I’ll tell you on the way. Let’s go.”

Looking down at the cup of water in my hand, then back up at Dani, I huddled in my confusion for a long moment, “But… I need to give Sarah her water.”

Dani waved me off, “She doesn’t want it. Come on.” She didn’t give me time to reply, just started walking.

“Hey now, hold on.” I said, deciding to keep the water in my hands as I followed Dani out of the infirmary, keeping on her pace while I waited for her to elaborate on whatever she was waiting to tell me.

It wasn’t until we had gotten a far bit away from the infirmary until Dani spoke, “As I’m sure you gathered, Sarah and I had a conversation about you.”

“Yeah, I did.”

“She told me what you told her.” Dani said, and my heart felt like it exploded. That bitch. Next time I saw her, I’d finish what those Terminators started, and wrap my hands around that lying throat.

But Dani wasn’t done, “And she convinced me that what I’ve been doing has been wrong.” 

I stopped next to Dani, standing in front of a familiar closet door. It took a second for me to place it, but when I did, the memories flooded back. Dani’s secret hiding spot. She took me here months ago, and I told her things about my pre-war life that I had never told anyone…

Dani took a deep breath, “I’ve been keeping things from you. Things about the past that you’ve had to figure out on your own, and that’s not really fair.”

My heart skipped a beat, “Wait… so does that mean you’ll tell me what my visions have been about.”

Dani nodded, “I’ll tell you whatever you need to know. Now let’s get us some privacy.”

I had never been so eager to follow her.

\------

Really quick before you go, I'd like to thank my friend Kirsten so much for this collaboration she did with me. Thanks to her genius graphic design skills, she was able to make up some concept art and pieces of damaged and eyepatched Sarah to coincide with this chapter! You can find these photos on her [Twitter](https://twitter.com/firecrackerhwt/status/1353436080557719552?s=20), or [Tumblr.](https://half-way-there.tumblr.com/post/641226100444397568/im-yours-truly-fuffywumple-terminator) (Each of those links takes you right to her posts) so please give her some love for all the help she's been for this collaboration, and for all the hard work that went into those great pieces! Thank you, Kirsten! I hope we can work together like this again! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS, my personal Twitter is also @fuffywumple, just encase y’all see that there (just a shameful plug, don’t mind me)


	21. Another update: will be deleted after next chapter release

Hey there everyone. 

Im once again sorry that I haven’t been able to write as much as I should. Between being mentally and physically exhausted, working, and dealing with personal things, writing has been an exhausting afterthought. I think I’ve taken enough of a breather from writing, and I plan to get going on things ASAP. 

I think worrying over the consistently and speed of updating chapters has been one of the reasons it has slowed down, making writing a stressful and unenjoyable experience. I know it’s better for everyone if I update swiftly and regularly, but unfortunately, that’s not a luxury I’m able to realistically have. So updates will be whenever I have the ability to write them. Sorry if that’s an inconvenience, but it’s a realistic outlook here. Thanks to everyone who has been around, I appreciate every single one of you, and can’t wait to have a new chapter for everyone. Some exciting (and angsty) stuff awaits.


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